ILTDAMH | CHAPTER 11

Chapter 11

“As you wish, my lady.”

Ah, what is going on right now?

Startled by Ruan’s sudden action, Mercian lay quietly on the bed, staring at his face.

I felt it before, but he has a handsome face.

Normally, someone that thin might look ugly, but why does this man still look handsome?

“Lady?”

“Yes? Ah, yes, Duke!”

“Please call me Ruan!”

Ruan thought.

Mercian looked so nervous and tense, blinking and barely breathing, that he found her unexpectedly cute for a moment.

Wait, cute? What am I thinking?

I have never cared about women before.

Even though I’ve only met her three times, I now think she’s cute.

Maybe I took this marriage too seriously because I want to please my aunt.

Ruan quickly erased the thought and gently helped Mercian sit up.

“Lady, please breathe.”

“Pardon?”

“If someone saw, they might think I’m hurting you.”

“Ah, sorry.”

“No, your reaction was just so funny that I played a little joke. I was going to talk about sleeping together anyway.”

Ruan smiled softly, then leaned Mercian against the bed and looked into her eyes.

“First, I want to apologise.”

“Apologise?”

“This ridiculous marriage isn’t my choice. It was forced by my aunt after she learned about my situation to continue the family line.”

“Yes, I know. Aunt told me before.”

“I see. That makes it easier to talk.”

“Huh?”

“Forget whatever my aunt said, okay?”

Mercian looked puzzled. 

She hadn’t heard much from Olivia.

“I only plan to spend six months here.”

“Only six months…”

“That means I won’t ask anything from you. Just rest comfortably during these six months.”

“So, that means…?”

“That means we won’t have a child.”

Mercian relaxed a little, feeling relieved.

Observing her expression, Ruan asked gently,
“I heard from Cassel that you want to leave the dukedom after six months.”

“Yes.”

“Do you happen to have a lover outside?”

“Huh? No, I don’t have a lover.”

Seeing Mersián flustered, Ruan smiled gently and said,
“It’s okay if you do have a lover. But please bear with it for just six months.”

“I don’t have a lover.”

Mercian answered firmly. 

Ruan then stood up and brought the contract.

“Most of the terms seem fine to me, but this one might be a problem.”

Ruan pointed to the clause written in the contract: [We must share a bed at least four times a week.]

“If we loved each other, this would be a perfect condition. But since you plan to leave the duke’s family after six months, and as I said, I don’t plan to have children, it makes sense to remove this clause. However, your aunt said it must never be removed when she wrote the contract.”

Mercián nodded, remembering how Olivia had held her hand and asked her to take care of Ruan.

“Oh, I see.”

“So, I was thinking—how about this?”

“Yes?”

“Although your aunt left the duke’s family after I became an adult, most people here still work for her. If we don’t share the bed, they’ll find out quickly. For now, share the room four times a week.”

“Yes. What?”

When Mercian looked up at Ruan’s words, he looked around his room and said, “But, it’ll be just that—sharing the room. I’ll place a sofa here and sleep on it.”

“What happens if the servants arrive early in the morning?” “No servant is bold enough to open my door without permission, so don’t worry.”

Mercian looked at the big bed that could easily fit four people and said,
“Why don’t you sleep here? Duke, no, Ruan can sleep over there. The bed is big enough, so we won’t bump into each other.”

Ruan looked at the big bed for a moment and said,
“Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable for you?”

“No, I sleep quietly, so I’m fine.”

“Good. Then we’ll do it your way. Also, in front of others, we have to act like a married couple, so please understand if it’s unavoidable.”

“Yes, I understand.”

Mercian felt a strange sense of unfamiliarity as Ruan carefully explained the contract and asked for her opinion.

Back at the viscount’s house, she was used to doing whatever Penelope and Lucianne wanted. 

The marriage wasn’t her choice but theirs.

Is this how it’s usually done—asking for each opinion?

Mercian felt awkward but also felt respected by Ruan’s attitude.

“Madam, I talked with Cassel earlier, but if there’s anything you want to change or feel uncomfortable with, please tell me.”

“Yes? Ah, just a moment.”

Mercian read the contract Ruan handed her again.

She had already read it when talking to Cassel, but somehow it felt different now.

“If there are no problems, we will finalize the contract as is.”

Staring blankly at the contract, Mersián suddenly shouted in urgency,
“No, about the last clause…”

“What do you mean by the last clause?”

At Ruan’s question, Mercian pointed to the very last part of the contract with her finger and said,
“It says you will give me enough money to live on for the rest of my life when I leave the duke’s family…”

“Oh, I see. Are you short on money? Then I can talk to Cassel to—”

“No, no. I mean, there’s no need to give me more money.”

“No need for money?”

Seeing Ruan look at her as if he didn’t understand, Mercian smiled and replied,
“I’ve already received enough money as dowry and compensation.”

“Are you afraid your mother and sister will take the money away from you?”

“What?”

“Forgive me if I’m overstepping, but if that’s the case, I can make sure no one but you can touch the money.”

Mercian blushed at Ruan’s words as if he knew her position in her family.

Well, he probably thinks I’ll return to my family after this contract ends, so that’s why he says that.

I felt more comfortable not taking anything owned by the duke’s family to avoid trouble when I leave later.

She had no intention of explaining her situation in detail—like how she wouldn’t go back to the viscount’s house.

Though I appreciate Ruan’s offer, if Penelope and Luciane find out I took that money, they will surely come after me.

I already expect hard times, so it’s better to take nothing.

“No, please, Ruan, don’t ask anything else. Just erase this clause.”

For some unknown reason, seeing Mercian’s desperate expression, Ruan reluctantly took a pen and crossed out the clause.

“Then how about this: if you feel burdened by the money, you could take whatever remains from the monthly household allowance the duchess receives while living here?”

“Huh? Household allowance?”

“The duke’s family gives the duchess a monthly allowance for running the household. Any money left over after expenses is hers to keep.”

Mercian thought for a moment about Ruan’s suggestion.

Well, when my father was alive, my mother saved money like that too.

If I save little by little, maybe I can save enough to open a small shop.

Mercian nodded and answered Ruan’s proposal,
“Yes, thank you, Ruan.”

“Then the contract is settled. I will now tell you a few important things.”

Ruan put the contract on the table and sat down in front of Mercian, saying,
“First, about my condition. I am currently poisoned. It’s been a few days since the poisoning, so I have about five months, maybe a little more, to live.”

“Is there no antidote?”

“Unfortunately, the poison I have cannot be cured. So far, the symptoms are mainly severe weight loss and weakness, but nothing worse has appeared.”

A weak person? And yet, he lifted me just now?

Mercian found Ruan’s behaviour a little strange compared to what she saw, but she soon thought it was just the poison’s symptoms and let it go.

“Then, do you not cough up blood or faint?”

“It’s a strange poison, so I’m not sure about the exact symptoms. If my condition makes you uncomfortable, please tell me, and I’ll make sure to stay out of sight.”

“Oh, no. It’s not that bad.”

“Also, apart from the poisoning, I’ve had bad insomnia since I was young, so I always take sleeping pills. Most of the time, even when we share a bed, I’ll likely fall asleep first, so please don’t take it the wrong way.”

Hearing that he takes sleeping pills and sleeps first made Mercian quietly relieved.

Sleeping in the same bed with a stranger isn’t easy…

“Do you take a lot of sleeping pills?”

“At first, only a little. But maybe because of the poisoning or developing tolerance, lately, even taking a lot, I can’t sleep deeply. Are you a light sleeper?”

“Huh? No.”

“That’s a relief. If I toss and turn at night, I might disturb your sleep. Oh, and today, because it’s the wedding day, I didn’t take any sleeping pills on purpose.”

“I’m fine, so please go ahead and take your sleeping pills.”

“No, and since we shouldn’t stay distant during these six months, let’s eat breakfast and dinner together. If you have favourite foods, tell the chef.”

“I usually don’t mind most foods.”

“That’s good. Then let’s go to sleep.”

At Ruan’s words, Mercian adjusted her robe.

“Well then, madam, sweet dreams.”

After Ruan greeted her and lay down on the opposite side of the bed, Mercian slowly lay down as well.

After a while,
Though tired from the long day, Mercian couldn’t sleep well in the unfamiliar place and tossed and turned.

Worried that Ruan’s insomnia might get worse because of her, Mercian quietly turned to look at him.

Ruan, lying at the end of the bed near the window, turned his head toward her. 

Startled, she quickly shut her eyes, then peeked slightly through half-opened lids.

But Ruan was already sound asleep.

Seriously? He said he had insomnia, but he’s sleeping just fine.

What? He said he couldn’t sleep because of insomnia, but he’s sleeping fine.

Feeling suddenly relaxed, Mercian quietly looked at Ruan’s face bathed in moonlight.

She had felt this during the wedding, too—though his body was thin, only half her size, his tall height and good looks must have made many ladies want him, even if he only had six months left as a husband.

Mercian thought of the envious stares the other ladies had given her during the wedding.

My husband…

Maybe he’s the first and last husband in my life.

Ah, should I be thankful to my mother and sister for this?

No matter the reason, I get to live with such a handsome man.

We should try not to interfere with each other as much as possible for these six months, right?

Not just anyone, but a man who’s going to die soon—if I start to have feelings for him… 

Well, there’s no way such a handsome man would like me, so I just have to steel my heart.

Mercian made a firm promise to herself not to give her heart to that handsome face as she tried to fall asleep.

Soft, soft. Like pudding?

Ruan slowly opened his eyes, feeling the very soft and pleasant touch on his fingertips.

When did I fall asleep?

I didn’t even take sleeping pills today.

He looked around, as if he couldn’t believe he had been sleeping.

It must be early morning—faint light was coming through the window.

Ruan looked up at the clock on the table.

It pointed to 6 o’clock.

Six o’clock in the morning?

Even when I take sleeping pills, I usually sleep only two or three hours before waking up. 

Did I sleep this long without waking even once?

How long has it been since I had such a long sleep?

The memory was so old that he was unable to pinpoint its exact moment.

By the way, I heard she sleeps quietly…

Ruan quietly watched Mercian, who had slowly moved closer and was now snuggling in his arms.

She had large eyes, a round forehead, and a tiny mouth that didn’t seem to be large enough to eat.

Despite her lack of beauty, she seemed more endearing and charming the more he looked at her.

Her skin was so soft and tender that it reminded him of custard, which you could touch all day long without growing weary of.

“My wife…”

Seeing Mercian sleeping so well in his arms, Ruan couldn’t help but smile gently.

Even though he thought this six-month marriage had nothing to do with him emotionally…

But now he felt that perhaps marriage wasn’t as horrible as he had thought.