IDURHF 29

Chapter 29

29. The Confession, Continued

Emperor Aleksanteri loves me, and I love him.
We are in love with each other, and if we marry, we will become husband and wife.

“I always thought I hated political marriages. Even when I was betrothed to Lord Renan, I told myself it was something unavoidable because I had to succeed the Viscountcy of Dian, but in truth, I loathed it.”

As I began to speak over tea, His Majesty Aleksanteri listened to me quietly. Even the simple gesture of him holding a teacup was elegant. In those pomegranate-colored eyes, my figure was reflected clearly.

“I always took pride in sewing clothes for myself and for Sophia. In my dreams, Cecil had wished to become a seamstress, and I feel as though that feeling had always been with me as well.”

“Reisie, your sewing skill is something I rate very highly. I’ve heard that even professional tailors recognize your abilities.”

“That makes me so happy. But Lord Renan disliked that I made dresses and clothing myself. He said it was miserly and looked poor. I had wanted to sew my own wedding gown… but because he hated the idea, I gave up and resigned myself to ordering it from outside.”

“It makes me jealous to hear another man’s name from your lips, but that former fiancé of yours had no idea of your worth. You possess such wonderful talent.”

His Majesty praised me wholeheartedly.

Lord Renan had always mocked me for sewing, saying nobles ought to leave such things to tailors, and that to make them myself was shabby and beneath me. Even if our marriage had gone forward as a political match, I had always known I could never love such a man.

“When I came to the Imperial Palace and Your Majesty bought me a sewing machine, I thought, what a generous heart he has. Not only that—you let me make your jacket, and you let me make the dress for my own betrothal ceremony. I am truly grateful.”

“I could feel the pride you took in sewing. Cecil was the same. Both Cecil and you possess such wonderful gifts—I could not bear to crush that talent simply because you were to become my consort.”

For that, I could feel nothing but gratitude toward him.

Never once had His Majesty mocked me. He had even treasured the handkerchiefs I embroidered. From the days when Cecil had called him ‘Garne-kun,’ His Majesty had always cherished the clothes Cecil had made for him.

—Did your big sister make this? It’s such a beautiful outfit! Thank you!

Recalling Garne-kun’s bright, radiant smile, I noticed His Majesty looking at me with a gentle smile of his own.

I had never once seen him angry or irritable. He was always calm, and whenever he gazed at me, he wore a smile. At times he would look serious, but even then, never once did he let negative emotions show upon his face.

I had, however, glimpsed him when he thought I wasn’t looking, or when he faced other nobles. Then, his expression was cold, stripped of all feeling. I realized that this gentle smile was reserved only for me, and that to the rest of the world, he wore the cold, ruthless face of the emperor.

“I fell in love with Your Majesty because you never belittled me, and always respected me.”

“Is that not only natural? Reisie, your very existence is marvelous.”

“And also… Your Majesty always wears such a kind expression. When I see the corners of your eyes soften, I know you are smiling from your heart.”

Even though I had already confessed that I loved him, the words felt insufficient, so I continued speaking. His Majesty covered his lips with one hand, face flushed red.

“I love everything about you, Reisie. Your skill that allows you to sew dresses for yourself and your sister, the pride with which you present them before others… I did love Cecil, that is true. At first, I overlapped the two of you in my heart. But now… now I love you, Reisie.”

Once he said it aloud, it was as though a dam had burst—he repeated “I love you” again and again. Tears of happiness welled in my eyes.

He set his cup down on the saucer and drew me into his arms. Wrapped in the fragrance of his perfume, I let myself lean against him.

The next day, I went to thank Madam Laval.

“His Majesty Aleksanteri told me that he loves me. Thank you. Madam Laval, how did you tell him?”

“That is a secret. I will only say this much—I once served as a lady-in-waiting to the Empress, and in those days I also had dealings with His Majesty the Emperor.”

If Madam Laval had been a lady-in-waiting to the Empress before marriage, then that must have been twenty years ago. At that time, His Majesty Aleksanteri must have been only a child. Perhaps she had known him even before the coup d’état.

If she had been with him since childhood, then perhaps to His Majesty, Madam Laval was like a mother figure.

“When the coup happened, and His Majesty was smuggled away and later returned… were you there to see it?”

“I remember it clearly. His Majesty came back in bloodstained clothes, and he refused to take them off. We had to change him while he slept. When he awoke, he desperately searched for them… Even after they were washed, the stains would not come out, yet he kept that garment with him always.”

“Did he cry?”

“No… it seemed he was so shocked he could not even shed tears.”

To think that Cecil’s death had scarred His Majesty so deeply—it made me feel guilty, even though her sacrifice had been necessary to protect him.

“Even after that, his wound never healed. His Majesty lived on only out of a sense of duty. Around the age of twenty-two, though, something changed. Ever since you came to the Imperial Palace, every day he seems happy. I am relieved.”

“I see… so that’s how it was.”

I had heard from both His Majesty and the Dowager Empress that ever since losing Cecil, he had lived only in despair, sustained by duty. Only when he came across the blue vine-embroidered handkerchief I had sent to the capital’s shop did light begin to return to his life.

“Am I truly easing His Majesty’s heart?”

“Of course, Lady Reisie. Without you, the Imperial Palace would fall back into darkness, as though its lights had been extinguished.”

I wanted to support His Majesty. That was why, as his consort, I wished to devote myself wholly to him.

“Madam Laval, will I become a side consort? Or a concubine?”

“Lady Reisie—what are you saying?”

“I wish to devote myself to His Majesty. For that, I thought it best to know what my formal position will be.”

Until now, I had not cared much either way. Side consort or concubine—it hadn’t mattered. But if possible, I wanted to be side consort. With that higher rank, I could support His Majesty more closely.

As I spoke resolutely, Madam Laval’s expression clouded. Had I said something strange?

“His Majesty has not only failed to tell you ‘I love you’ until recently—he has also forgotten to tell you something very important.”

“Something important?”

“I cannot speak of it. This is something His Majesty himself must tell you. Lady Reisie, let us continue this talk tomorrow. For today, I must excuse myself.”

With hurried steps, Madam Laval departed from the Imperial Palace, leaving me to watch her go.