Chapter 22
My Pregnancy and Garne-kun’s Vow
Ever since suspicion arose that I might be pregnant, Lord Alec became extremely overprotective.
He had already been incredibly gentle before, but now simply offering me a hand on the stairs wasn’t enough — he would lift me up entirely and carry me whenever going up or down. He even told me to wear only the flattest‑heeled shoes.
When I had been engaged to Lord Renan, I had been forbidden to wear heels because my height was slightly tall while his was not.
But this time, being instructed to avoid heels out of concern that I might trip did not feel unpleasant at all.
About a week after the birthday tea party, the morning sickness began in earnest.
Just the smell of food made me feel sick. The only things I could manage to eat were fruit and yogurt, yet Lord Alec began to eat the same things as I did at breakfast.
“You will collapse if you continue like this. Please eat as you normally do.”
“We eat in the same room. If I ate normally, the smell might make you even more nauseated, right? Don’t worry. I’ll eat more once I go to the palace.”
“But—”
“Reisy, don’t worry about anything. Just eat whatever you can.”
With Lord Alec being so excessively kind, I could no longer argue.
Once the morning sickness became obvious, my pregnancy was publicly announced.
We had married in summer and now, by autumn, I was pregnant — the entire country seemed to burst into celebration.
When Her Majesty the Empress Dowager and Chancellor Cayetan visited the Imperial Palace, they both burst into tears.
“Thank you not only for becoming His Majesty’s family, but for giving him a new one as well.”
“The baby has not been born yet. It is too soon for such words, Your Majesty.”
“I once feared His Majesty would live his entire life in loneliness. His child shall be as dear to me as a grandchild. Your Majesty the Empress, please take utmost care of your body.”
“Thank you, Chancellor Cayetan.”
As they each held my hands and cried, I truly felt that I was carrying Lord Alec’s irreplaceable child.
The physician had encouraged me to continue moving my body, so my daily life did not change very much.
I still tended to the vegetable garden, took walks in the garden, sewed, and embroidered.
The only thing that changed was the purpose — now I made baby clothes, tiny socks, christening gowns, and little dresses.
I embroidered each piece with a blue vine pattern, praying it would ward off misfortune.
In celebration of my pregnancy, nobles across the nation, royalty from vassal states, important dignitaries, and even other nations sent gifts.
Since I did not know which items I should accept, I left the decision entirely to Lord Alec.
He reviewed the list with precise judgment.
“We will sell all precious metals and jewels, and donate the money to the orphanage.
Children’s toys — we want to choose those ourselves, so we will donate them as well.
Clothing is unnecessary; Reisy will make everything.
Sell the rest, and return the funds to the people.”
It was an indirect refusal, yet by converting gifts to charity, none of the senders could complain.
As expected of someone who had served as emperor for more than ten years — his judgment was outstanding.
I had no objections, so I asked for everything to be handled as he planned.
There was only one gift I personally accepted: the first‑pair baby shoes from my parents. Soft leather shoes for when the baby learns to walk — those, I cherished.
“I cannot make shoes… and they’re from my parents, after all.”
“Then we shall treasure them.”
“The child has not even been born yet, and they are already thinking about the first steps — my parents do rush things.”
As I laughed and stroked my still‑flat stomach, Lord Alec stared at my hand.
“Reisy… may I touch it?”
“It hasn’t moved, and it’s not even showing yet.”
“Even so… I want to.”
So I guided his hand to my stomach through my dress, placing my hand over his.
He looked solemn.
“Don’t trouble your mother too much, all right?”
“It can’t hear you yet.”
“Be born healthy. Your mother and father are waiting.”
I couldn’t help laughing at how seriously he spoke to my belly.
That night, I had a dream.
In it, little Garne‑kun was clinging to me, asleep.
I stroked his hair, half‑dreaming myself.
“If someday I get married and have a child…”
I muttered softly — then shook my head slowly.
“No… I won’t marry. Marriage is a woman’s grave.”
I loved and respected my parents, but I disliked the societal belief that women, once married, must bear and raise children, run the household, and support their husband’s work.
I wanted to do what I loved and live independently.
Even the dream of becoming a seamstress — which I could not pursue — was already difficult enough.
“Big sis, do you want a baby?”
“Garne‑kun, you’re awake?”
He rubbed his sleepy eyes and questioned me, and I gave a wry smile.
“Babies are adorable, but I can’t picture having one myself. Unless it was a baby as cute as you.”
“If you marry me, we might have a baby that looks just like me!”
“Marry you, hmm? It would take twelve more years before that’s possible.”
By then, I would be twenty‑eight — an age that society would call past her prime.
“I don’t think I ever want to marry.”
“Why not?”
“Because once you marry, you’re no longer free.”
When I spoke my true feelings, Garne‑kun asked again:
“Why do you stop being free if you marry?”
“Because women are expected to have children, raise them, stay at home, obey their husbands, and support their husband’s work. I don’t want to support someone else’s career. I want to work for myself.”
“Why do women have to obey their husbands?”
“I wonder… maybe simply because society says so.”
He probably couldn’t understand even if I called it a cultural custom.
As I struggled to explain, he spoke.
“Then I’ll change it.”
“…What?”
“I’ll change this country. Then will you marry me?”
I didn’t believe a six‑year‑old child could change a country.
Such a thing would require time, power, and money — it seemed impossible.
“Don’t worry about that. Let’s sleep. You won’t wake up tomorrow if you don’t.”
“Answer me!”
“Fine, fine — if something like that really happens, sure.”
I only wanted him to fall asleep, so I gave a careless, vague answer.
Satisfied, he soon drifted off.
Later that night, when I awoke, Lord Alec was holding me in his arms as he slept.
I stroked his cheek gently.
“You really kept your promise, didn’t you… Garne‑kun?”
Half‑asleep, I whispered the words and drifted back into dreams.
