Chapter 20
Playing in the Snow
In my dream, I was making a stuffed toy for little Garne.
Since Garne couldn’t go outside very often, he could only play indoors.
He loved the little dog plushie I made for him so much that he placed it in the house he built out of wooden blocks we’d bought from a shop in town, and played with it for hours.
“Big sister, the puppy’s going inside its house.”
“You built such a nice home! Does it have a fence around the yard too?”
“Yes. So the scary people can’t come in.”
I didn’t know what kind of life Garne had before, but it seemed like he had once lived in a big house with a garden.
The houses he built with blocks always had wide yards surrounded by fences that used up nearly all his blocks.
“Garne, don’t you want to go home?”
When I asked, Garne looked down with a troubled expression.
Just as he couldn’t say his own name, it seemed he also couldn’t talk about his home.
I once overheard my parents talking about him.
“Maybe that boy is the illegitimate child of a noble.”
“And his life was targeted by the lawful wife?”
“If that’s the case, finding his parents could be dangerous.”
“Sending him back might not necessarily be the safest choice.”
With his silver hair, pomegranate-red eyes, and fair skin, Garne didn’t look like the child of laborers.
He had been found wearing only underclothes, so that no one could trace his identity — but perhaps, in truth, he’d once worn fine, tailored clothes.
If he really had noble blood and people were after his life, then the thought made me feel deeply sorry for him.
“Would you like to be my little brother?”
“I don’t want to be a little brother.”
“Why not? If you become my brother, we can always be together.”
“Always together?”
When Garne looked up at me with his crimson eyes, I smiled brightly and said,
“Autumn will come soon, right? There are so many delicious things in autumn — sweet potatoes, chestnuts, pumpkins.”
“But those are things you like, big sister.”
“Oh, that’s true. Then how about winter? When winter comes, I’ll knit you a wool coat and gloves and a scarf too. Then we can play in the snow together.”
“Play in the snow?”
I nodded as Garne’s pomegranate eyes widened curiously.
“You’ve never played in the snow? When the snow piles up, you can roll snowballs and make snowmen. You can even make snow rabbits! And have snowball fights, too.”
“Snowmen? Snowball fights?”
“There are lots of fun things you can do.”
It had been summer when we took Garne in.
I didn’t know if he’d still be here by winter, but I wanted him to live each day with a bright smile.
“I’ll have to make gloves that fit your little hands perfectly. What color do you want?”
“If you make them, big sister, any color is fine.”
Then Garne’s face flushed pink as he mumbled softly,
“I don’t want to be your little brother. Because then I can’t marry you.”
Ever since the day we went into town, Garne had been saying he wanted to marry me.
He was only six — there was no way he truly understood what marriage meant.
So I would always answer, “If you still feel that way when you’re grown up, then we’ll see.”
When Garne turned eighteen, I would be twenty-eight.
Of course, it was impossible for us to marry.
But even so, I began to wish for a future where Garne would still be by my side when that time came.
When I woke up, I couldn’t tell where the dream ended and reality began.
“I have to make Garne gloves… bigger ones now, since he’s grown…”
Then I suddenly realized what I’d said — calling His Majesty Aleksanteri Garne — and shook my head quickly. That had been from the dream.
But… would His Majesty be pleased if I made him knitted gloves?
I wanted to knit wool gloves for him.
From that day on, I began knitting gloves — a pair for myself and a pair for His Majesty Aleksanteri.
I worked on them in the spare moments between sewing the wedding outfits for the plush toys, and before long, they were finished.
When tea time came, I presented them to His Majesty.
“I dreamed about Cecile. She once promised to make Garne a pair of gloves but never got the chance. So I decided to make some for you, Your Majesty.”
“This is my first pair of wool gloves. They’re so warm.”
Seeing how pleased he was made me smile. During tea, I asked,
“Have you ever played in the snow, Your Majesty?”
“I’ve barely ever played at all. After I lost Cecile, I lost the will to live.”
As I thought — His Majesty had never played in the snow.
So I invited him gently,
“Would you like to take a walk in the garden with me and play in the snow?”
“At my age, is it still all right to play?”
“Age doesn’t matter when it comes to playing.”
If Cecile’s death had stolen his childhood away, then I wanted to help him reclaim it now.
If he’d never experienced such simple joy, then we could start anew.
And besides, when we had children someday, it would be lonely if their father didn’t know how to play.
His Majesty put on the knitted coat and gloves I had made for him, and we went out into the garden together.
The snow lay deep and soft over the ground.
I scooped some up in both hands, rolled it into a snowball, and began rolling it across the snow.
“You make the snowball bigger like this — make two of them, then stack them to make a snowman.”
“Then I’ll try it too.”
His Majesty copied me, rolling his own snowball across the snow.
Mine was round and smooth, while his turned out oddly tall and narrow.
Still, it worked perfectly well for the snowman’s body, so I placed my rounder snowball on top as the head.
Then I picked up two fallen branches and stuck them in as arms.
“How do we make the face, Lacy?”
“I used to use stones and carrots, but we don’t have carrots here, so let’s make the eyes from stones.”
I dug around in the snow until I found small stones, and we pressed them into the snowman’s face.
Once our snowman was complete, we also made a snow rabbit.
I brushed the snow off a bench, shaped an oval of snow with my hands, added leaves for ears, and used red berries from the garden for its eyes.
His Majesty imitated me carefully.
“This one’s adorable. I wish we could bring it inside.”
“It would melt, Your Majesty.”
“Ah, I see. What a shame.”
He looked so disappointed that I couldn’t help but smile.
I made a small snowball, just enough to fit in my hand, wondering what to do next.
I wanted to start a snowball fight — but surprising His Majesty by throwing one at him might shock him.
“Your Majesty, do you know what a snowball fight is?”
“I’ve heard of it — Cecile mentioned it once.”
“You make snowballs like this, and throw them at each other.”
“Throw them… at you?”
“Yes, I’ll throw them too, so don’t hold back.”
“No, I can’t. I could never throw a snowball at you.”
It seemed a snowball fight between us wasn’t going to happen.
As I was thinking of another game, His Majesty’s eyes lit up with an idea.
He formed a snowball and held it up.
“I can’t throw this at you, Lacy — but how about we use the snowman as our target?”
“So the snowman is the enemy!”
“Exactly. That way, I can throw freely.”
It was a good idea, so I agreed.
We took turns throwing snowballs at the snowman.
Mine missed often, but His Majesty’s throws hit their mark with precision.
“You’re very good at this, Your Majesty.”
“Perhaps because I’ve trained my body through swordsmanship.”
“You can use a sword?”
“Yes. After I failed to protect Cecile, I resolved to at least learn to defend myself. I didn’t live with much passion, but I couldn’t waste the life Cecile saved for me.”
Hearing him say he hadn’t wanted to live made my eyes sting.
He must have suffered so deeply after Cecile’s death.
Even now, though he said he’d found peace, he still lowered his eyes whenever he spoke of her.
“Your Majesty, I intend to live a long life.”
“Lacy?”
“I’m ten years younger than you, so I’ll surely live longer.”
I didn’t want to leave him behind as Cecile had.
Of course, if His Majesty were to pass before me, it would hurt unbearably —
but I couldn’t bear for him to experience that same sorrow again.
It was far better for me to be the one left grieving.
“Then… I’ll live and live, grow old surrounded by children and grandchildren, and when the time finally comes for me to die peacefully… will you be there to see me off, Lacy?”
“Yes. And after that, I’ll follow you soon. Please wait for me.”
I didn’t know how many years I would live after His Majesty passed away —
but I was determined that I would never die before him.
