IALFMFL CH 03

As always, Nezar was sitting on the sofa in the drawing room.

He must have been quietly reading a book, because the moment I entered, he slowly closed it.

His sharp, dark crimson eyes stared at me from behind the lenses of his glasses. Even though I had seen his face only two days ago, his harmonious and striking features still felt fresh and new every time I looked at him.

After staring at me silently for a moment, he removed his glasses and placed them on the table.

His stiff gaze and tightly closed lips made him look unusually ominous.

Did something bad happen?

I nervously closed the door behind me and spoke.

“Ah, h-hello, Nezar. Have you eaten?”

There was no answer to my greeting.

What?

Nezar continued staring at me with the same cold expression. I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t help wondering if I had somehow done something wrong.

Watching him carefully, I nervously lingered near the door.

“What are you doing?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing. I just thought it was a little cooler around here…”

“Did you eat something bad for lunch? Stop talking nonsense and come sit down.”

I obediently became like a well-trained dog and threw myself into the seat across from Nezar.

The moment we were face-to-face, I imitated the old Katrina so that he wouldn’t find fault with me the way my brothers had during lunch.

In other words, I started acting annoyingly loud.

“What happened, Nezar? You don’t usually come to visit this often! Ah, you came because you missed me! Right? Isn’t that it?”

I didn’t know why, but even though I had only returned to my old behavior for two days, I was already exhausted.

I looked at Nezar with sparkling eyes, but his expression became even colder, as though he had witnessed something he desperately wished he hadn’t.

I obediently relaxed my eyes.

“Kate, I heard you were reading a book just now.”

“A book?”

At his question, I remembered the moment when I had been drinking tea until right before meeting Rick.

“Yes, that’s right. To be precise, I wasn’t exactly reading it… I had opened it with the intention of reading.”

“Why all of a sudden?”

I immediately became deeply troubled.

It sounded like a simple question, but when Nezar was in a bad mood, he wasn’t the kind of person who started conversations over meaningless topics.

What should I say?

That I need to become a lady so I can find him a lover? That I started reading because of that?

That would be an answer guaranteed to hurt Nezar’s pride.

I desperately wracked the part of my brain I rarely used and managed to come up with what I thought was the best answer.

“I want a female friend.”

The atmosphere in the drawing room instantly became silent.

At the same time, Nezar slowly examined every part of my face.

He really did examine me.

His gaze was so persistent that I felt as though my cheeks were becoming numb.

Before I could start sweating, I quickly looked away.

But Nezar’s gaze remained fixed on my face.

“Did I hear you wrong? Did you just say you want a female friend?”

“Y-Yes. I play with my brothers every day, so I don’t know how to get along with other girls. That’s why I started reading books about etiquette for tea parties.”

“What brought about this sudden change of heart? Until a week ago, you said you didn’t need friends or anything else. You said that even if the whole world collapsed, as long as you had me, that was enough.”

I clearly remembered saying something like that to him.

Even thinking about it now, it was embarrassingly ridiculous.

There were so many things in the world I needed besides Nezar!

“Well… after thinking about it carefully, I realized I probably need at least one or two friends. Without you and my brothers, I’m always alone, you know? It’s a really miserable feeling.”

Yes.

That was it.

The emotion I had always felt wasn’t loneliness.

It was misery.

Looking back, I had always pretended that everything was fine, but somewhere deep in my heart, I had always been ashamed and humiliated by my position as someone everyone disliked.

I had clung to Nezar even more desperately because I wanted to hide those feelings.

Realizing and acknowledging my true feelings at such an unexpected moment felt strangely comforting.

And liberating.

I really was right to become the New Katrina!

However, it seemed that I was the only one feeling refreshed.

Even though I had finally confessed the feelings I had kept buried for so long, Nezar’s gaze remained persistent and cold.

“So that’s why you’re practicing embroidery, looking for famous dressmakers, and memorizing the names of handsome young noblemen? Do you really think those things will help you make the female friends you want?”

For a moment, I felt as though all the blood had drained from my head.

“H-How did you hear about that?”

“From Rockhard. He talks about you every time we meet. I’m beginning to develop calluses in my ears from listening to it so much.”

Rockhard and Nezar were nineteen-year-old friends of the same age.

Rockhard had left for the Imperial Academy early on, immediately after Edden was chosen as the heir to the family, declaring that he would become Nezar’s sword.

That day had been the beginning of everything.

My passionate unrequited love for Nezar had started during Rockhard’s first year at the academy, when I fell for the beautiful young boy he brought home as his friend.

Of course, I never imagined that my love would last so long that it would eventually lead to an engagement oath.

I slowly inhaled.

The problem wasn’t that I had a crush on Nezar.

The problem was that Rockhard was reporting every single embarrassing detail of my private life to Nezar!

“That damn Rockhard!”

BANG!

I instinctively clenched my fist and slammed it onto the table.

But immediately afterward, I stiffened my shoulders and hurriedly pulled my hand back.

“Ahem, ahem. I’m sorry you’ve had to keep listening to all that. I’ll make sure to firmly tell Rockhard to keep his mouth shut from now on.”

Having to constantly listen to stories about a member of the opposite sex in whom you had absolutely no interest must have been quite a chore.

I could easily imagine what Nezar’s expression had been like while listening to Rockhard’s stories.

Bored. Uninterested. Sleepy.

Crossing his arms and rubbing his chin, he slowly opened his mouth.

“So, what’s the answer to my question?”

“…Question? What question?”

“Is memorizing the names of handsome young noblemen necessary for making female friends?”

His already deep, low-energy voice sounded even heavier today.

He had teased me before, but this was the first time I had seen him so openly show that he was in a bad mood.

What on earth happened?

Thinking that I should at least cheer him up, I answered in a voice twice as lively as usual.

“Of course! It’s incredibly important! Girls need common ground when they talk. Men talk about women when they get together too, don’t they? Girls get just as excited talking about men when they gather together. So I absolutely have to memorize those names before I go!”

“Hm.”

My cheerful explanation didn’t seem to have much effect.

Instead, Nezar leaned farther back as though he were seriously considering something.

His narrowed eyes traveled up and down my body, as though he were examining the smallest details—the shape of my lips, the angle of my eyebrows, and everything else about my expression.

“Fine. If you say you need to make friends, I can’t just sit around doing nothing as your fiancé. I’ll make an exception and be your practice partner today. Tell me one of the names you’ve memorized so far.”

It was a kindness I absolutely did not appreciate.

“Thank you, but I’m really fine.”

“Tell me.”

His demand was so firm that it was almost embarrassing.

I immediately blurted out the first name that came to mind.

“Um… Pansion Entera.”

I remembered Daisy telling me that Pansion Entera was the Vice-Captain of the Second Division of the Imperial Guard.

He was a genius with a sword who had risen to the position of Vice-Captain of the Imperial Guard while still only in his mid-twenties.

Apparently, not only young noble ladies but married noblewomen as well kept their eyes fixed on him, hoping to get their hands on this talented bachelor.

Of course, I had never actually met him.

“Pansion Entera…”

Nezar closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again and suddenly asking me,

“Lady Kate, what was it about Sir Pansion that made you fall for him?”

Was this what he meant by helping me? Was he actually going to role-play?

Even so, something about Nezar’s tone was strange.

No noble lady in the entire empire would use such a forceful tone.

And what did he mean by “fall for him” when I had never even seen Pansion Entera’s face?

Moreover, his gaze, which had previously only been cold, was now so sharp that it looked as though it could bite into my cheeks.

I shrank back and answered nervously.

“I-I never fell for him.”

Was I too quick to deny it?

Flustered, I hurriedly continued, making up the most plausible things I could.

“But he is very…”

Handsome?

If he was that popular, then he must obviously be handsome.

“And he’s built very well, just like a knight…”

He probably was.

After all, he was the Vice-Captain of the Imperial Guard.

“So whenever I see him, my face feels like it turns red. Which kind of person tends to catch your eye, Nezar?”

Holding my teacup with my pinky raised and covering my mouth whenever I smiled, I carefully paid attention to every little movement like a proper lady before meeting Nezar’s eyes.

He was even going as far as to role-play for my sake, so I wanted to show him that I was making an effort.

That way, he wouldn’t become suspicious of me either.

But for some reason, Nezar remained completely silent.

The expression that had been twitching as though he wanted to devour me had now become as still as if someone had poured cold water over it.

I did something wrong, didn’t I?

I didn’t know what the problem was, but I was certain I had done something wrong.

Without a doubt, Nezar was unhappy about something.

But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure out what exactly was making him uncomfortable.

So I quietly waited for him to speak.

I had no idea how much time passed.

Only after letting out a heavy sigh, as though he were suppressing his emotions, did Nezar finally speak.

“Kate, you need to take responsibility for the things you say. Surely I’m not the only one who thinks so?”

What is he talking about?

I had a very bad feeling.

I couldn’t understand even a tiny bit of what Nezar was saying.

Nezar rested his chin against the back of the sofa and exhaled once more.

His voice, which had been as soft and sweet as freshly baked castella only moments ago, had become dry and rough in that short span of time.

“Those who hold high positions have many obligations to bear in proportion to the privileges they enjoy. The reason I, as the Crown Prince, chose you and not any other young lady as my fiancée is…”

He suddenly stopped speaking.

With the hand that had been supporting his chin, Nezar rubbed his forehead for a moment before slowly twisting his expression.

Then he asked me,

“How old are you this year? Sixteen?”

“Fifteen.”

“Haa… You’re terribly young. What on earth am I doing with a fifteen-year-old…”

That was his third sigh.

I couldn’t bring myself to look at his shadowed face and say,

“But mentally, I’m seventeen, not fifteen.”

No matter who heard that, it certainly wouldn’t sound normal.

“Do you even know how old I am?”

“Of course I do. Do you think I’m an idiot who can’t count, Nezar? You’re nineteen this year.”

I answered confidently without the slightest hesitation.

Nezar raised one eyebrow.

It was a tiny change, but the gloomy atmosphere seemed to lighten slightly.

Thanks to that, I could finally breathe a little more easily.

Why do I have to spend the whole day shrinking back in front of my own fiancé?

Feeling indignant, I pressed my lips together and inhaled deeply.

This is why you lose when you’re the one who falls first, falls harder, and keeps liking someone.

In my mind, I punched twelve-year-old Rockhard, who had brought Nezar to the castle.

This is all because of that annoying second-born idiot.

If he hadn’t gone around saying he wanted to become Nezar’s sword, I wouldn’t have any reason to keep shrinking myself like this!

“…Fine. There’s no need to rush.”

With those words, Nezar lightly gestured toward himself.

It was a sign for me to come closer.

I immediately sprang up and practically ran over to claim the seat beside him.