HTDD 37

Chapter 37

More than worrying about her tears staining his clothes—

Natalie suddenly became aware that she was burying her face in Julius’s chest… and that she was clutching at his shirt. Her mind couldn’t keep up with what was happening. Her tears still wouldn’t stop, spilling uncontrollably—but more than that—

From Julius’s heartbeat, from the warmth of his body, she could feel the heat of someone truly alive. That warmth alone seemed to repaint the cold gaze she remembered from before.

That heat was real, right there.

“Are… are you all right…?”

Julius, after confirming that Natalie could stand properly, slowly loosened the arm he’d been using to support her. From his voice, he sounded flustered, unsure what to do.

No—more than that—

She wanted to thank him for catching her when she almost fell. She wanted to apologize for dirtying his clothes.

But her thoughts were spinning wildly, tangled beyond reason.

Because of that, her heart was beating faster than normal. And Julius’s heartbeat—coming from the chest pressed against her—seemed just as quick as hers.

Lost in those distractions,

Natalie missed the timing to step back, and froze in place—still in Julius’s arms.

“Uh… um…”
“…Ah, yeah.”
“Th… thank… you…”

The more she realized her current position, the hotter her face grew. Her cheeks were burning red with embarrassment, and she couldn’t even bring herself to look Julius in the eye.

Her voice faltered, words tripping and scattering. Julius, noticing her panic, didn’t touch her again. He simply stayed still—letting her decide when to move away.

“…My lady.”
“Eh? W-What is it…?”
“You really don’t need to worry about it.”

His words reached her ears. “Don’t worry about it”—was that because he was a tree?

As if to say, whatever she did didn’t bother him.

“…Everything I do… is because I want to.”
“…”
“If any of it makes you uncomfortable… I’m sorry. That’s all I wanted to say.”

Julius didn’t seem to want her gratitude or her apology. His words—spoken by a man who was usually so quiet—felt clumsy, but sincere.

But even so—

When he said he didn’t want to inconvenience her… in truth, it did inconvenience her.

Because his kindness made it impossible for her to respond honestly. Her thoughts grew more tangled every time he showed her care.

(He should just frown and snap at me like before.)

That was how it always used to be when she lived at the ducal mansion. The idea of him showing concern was absurd.

So when she had confronted him before, she’d wanted him to argue back—to get angry.

If he had, she could’ve drawn a clear line between them again.
But that moment never came.

(No… pretending not to notice how much he’s changed… is getting impossible.)

Natalie had sensed it for a while now—
The Julius standing before her was not the same man he once was.

Even if he still had his memories… something had changed within him.

—But even so.

Even if he had changed, she couldn’t just erase what happened at the duchy. She couldn’t simply forgive everything. Because of that, she kept her heart locked tight.

And yet—
Ignoring the fact that he had saved her would be unbearable to her nature.

Lost in this spiral of thought and inner conflict, she suddenly realized she had gone quiet for quite a while.

Julius hadn’t said anything since, either. She began to worry that she was leaving him waiting in silence.

So she decided to speak. Tentatively, she raised her face from his chest—

(—Eh?)

What met her eyes was Julius, face flushed bright red, deliberately looking away from her. Even his ears were red.

Natalie blinked in surprise.

Maybe… because she had been crying, he didn’t want to embarrass her by looking directly at her. If that was true—

(Really… we’re both so awkward.)

Looking at his red face, she felt suddenly foolish for all her struggling. She’d been pushing back against his every action, refusing to accept anything from him.

But maybe he hadn’t meant anything complicated by his actions—
He had simply caught her when she was about to fall.

Ignoring that simple kindness would be wrong. She couldn’t forgive the past, no—but couldn’t she at least acknowledge his sincerity now?

—Even if he did have ulterior motives, so what?

Even if she was dancing in the palm of his hand… he was still speaking to her, face red and trembling with sincerity.

She wouldn’t forgive him.
But she could face the man he was now.

“…Your Grace.”

Calling out softly, she looked at him. Before she realized it, her tears had stopped. At her voice, Julius turned toward her, and their eyes met.

“Thank you.”
“…”

Her hands weren’t trembling. Her voice was steady. And without forcing it—she smiled, the same way she did when speaking with her parents or Mina.

“Thank you for saving my father, Petigrew… and me.”
“…”
“Truly—thank you.”

Julius’s red eyes widened slightly. Then, as if something had broken free inside him, he spoke.

“I see… Then I should thank you, too.”
“…Eh?”
“For healing my wounds… thank you.”

Bathed in the orange light of the setting sun, his face seemed almost glowing. Natalie couldn’t look away.

Because she had never seen him smile like that before—
A genuine, unguarded smile, soft and bright enough to steal her breath.

Her heart was pounding so hard it almost hurt. It wasn’t just surprise—it was that she had no defense against that smile.

Come to think of it… could Julius hear her racing heartbeat, too?

(—Ah!)

Then, suddenly realizing how close they still were—

“Y-Y-Your Grace… um… we’re… a little too close, I-I’m sorry!”
“Ah! N-No, I should be the one apologizing… for touching you…”
“N-No! A-and your clothes—”

Panicking, Natalie quickly stepped back, apologizing in a fluster. Julius also began apologizing, both of them red-faced and stumbling over their words.

It was as if they were both finally realizing how intimate the moment had been—and were panicking all at once.

“M-My clothes? N-No, really, it’s fine…”
“B-But—”
“I-I’m a tree, so… please don’t worry about it…”

Covering his face with a hand, Julius seemed overwhelmed with embarrassment. The atmosphere was contagious—Natalie felt the heat rise to her own cheeks even more.

(Once we get back to the mansion, he can change clothes!)

Whether Julius would like it or not, her father or the soldiers surely had spare clothes available. Yes, that would do.

“U-Um… if you’d like, shall we head back to the mansion… and you can change there?”
“Ah… yeah. That sounds good.”

Her face was red only because of the sunset—at least, that’s what she told herself as she forced her mind to calm down.

Turning her gaze toward the direction of Petigrew town, she saw it bathed in the golden glow of dusk.

The Petigrew territory, spared from the worst of the war’s destruction, was filled with laughter and warmth from its people.

Perhaps it was almost dinner time—smoke rose from the chimneys of homes, carrying the comforting smell of food. Wrapped in that gentle, everyday peace—

Natalie, walking beside Julius, returned to the mansion with steady steps.