Chapter 18 — Temper
Xue Ning didn’t think too much of it. Lowering her eyes politely, she said softly, “A’Ning wants to stay tonight and keep Father, Mother, and Brother company. Safe travels, A’Xiong.”
Her words made Su Zhan’s expression darken at once.
That sharply defined handsome face turned stormy, like the sky before rain broke loose.
But Xue Ning truly didn’t understand why.
Didn’t he dislike her already? If he wanted to leave, then he could leave.
This time, she hadn’t begged him to stay with her.
Su Zhan narrowed his eyes. “If you refuse to come, I really will leave on my own.”
Xue Ning answered obediently, “Then A’Xiong may do as he pleases.”
“Xue Ning—”
She lifted her head and met the man’s icy gaze. Her fingers curled tighter inside her sleeves.
In the past, she had always longed to be near him. But now, every moment spent in his presence felt suffocating.
Biting her lip, she said respectfully, “Then I’ll see A’Xiong out.”
Su Zhan pressed his thin lips into a hard line, his refined features filled with cold anger.
Xue Ning pretended not to notice. In silence, she escorted him to the entrance of the hall.
His brows knit together. “Xue Ning, what kind of temper are you throwing now?”
She pursed her lips lightly. “I’m not throwing a tantrum. I only wanted to stay a little longer with my parents.”
Su Zhan let out a cold laugh. “In the middle of the night? A young woman staying alone in a temple?”
Her voice remained gentle and calm. “A’Ning isn’t alone. Nanny Hao and Baochan are with me, and Madam Jiang arranged guards as well. A’Xiong needn’t worry about my safety.”
So in the end, he was the meddlesome one.
Su Zhan almost laughed from irritation. “How did I never realize before that your tongue could be this sharp?”
Xue Ning closed her mouth and said nothing more, deciding it was better not to provoke him further.
Yet that quiet, withdrawn look of hers left him with nowhere to vent his anger.
He had never been one to indulge her little moods. His handsome face darkened further as he stared at her for several long moments before finally turning away.
The moment he left, Xue Ning relaxed. Even breathing became easier.
In the past, whenever he looked displeased like this, she would immediately coax him with a smile.
But now, not having to constantly watch his expression felt unbelievably freeing.
The man was tall and broad-shouldered, his figure straight and imposing beneath a dark black robe. Strikingly handsome, impossibly distant.
Before long, his silhouette disappeared into the night.
It wasn’t the first time she had watched Su Zhan walk away.
She stared after him for a while before finally withdrawing her gaze.
Baochan cautiously poked her head out from behind the vermilion temple doors. “Miss… the heir really left?”
Xue Ning nodded. “Mm.”
“Actually, it felt safer when the heir was here.” Baochan shrank into herself, rubbing her cold neck. “This servant is a little scared.”
Xue Ning lit three sticks of incense and held them before her forehead. “Baochan, where is Nanny Hao?”
At the mention of Nanny Hao, Baochan immediately forgot her fear. She hurried off to look around and soon returned.
“Nanny Hao’s resting in the meditation room. Honestly, she’s just a servant woman, yet instead of staying beside you, she’s sleeping soundly on her own. No other young lady would tolerate that. Only our miss is so good-tempered. In our courtyard, those old maids are the only ones bold enough not to take you seriously.”
Xue Ning’s gaze remained faint and unreadable.
She remembered leaving the meditation room earlier that evening and spotting someone lurking suspiciously outside her door.
A servant in a brown short jacket. Dark-skinned, with a mole near the corner of his mouth.
She had seen him before at Jiang Shi’s birthday banquet. He served beside Cao Jin, the wastrel heir of the Jiqing伯 household—a declining branch related to the Dong family.
Back then, that debauched young master had kept watching her from afar with a smile that wasn’t quite a smile.
At the time, all her thoughts had been consumed by how to win Su Zhan’s heart. She hadn’t noticed the filth hidden in that man’s gaze.
But now, recalling Su Qing’s schemes from her previous life, everything suddenly became clear.
Cao Jin had come all the way to Zhen’guo Temple yesterday not to burn incense, nor to attend the Dharma assembly.
He had come for her.
In her previous life, shortly after her engagement to Su Zhan was settled, someone had drugged her again. In a haze of confusion, she had ended up in bed with Cao Jin.
Even now, she knew with certainty that nothing had actually happened between them.
But to the Su family, she had already become a shameless adulteress.
A woman engaged to the heir, yet still entangled with another man. Lewd. Indecent. A disgrace with no sense of shame.
After their so-called affair was discovered, Madam Jiang became utterly disappointed in her. And the way Su Zhan looked at her grew colder by the day.
A few days later, Cao Jin drowned after getting drunk.
The matter had been quietly suppressed by Su Zhan.
She still married him in the end.
But her innocence had nowhere to be defended.
The stain of being called a whore clung to her until the day she died.
“Miss?”
Baochan waved a small hand in front of her face.
Recently, her young lady had started spacing out more and more often.
“What are you thinking about, Miss? Did Nanny Hao do something bad behind your back?”
Nanny Hao wasn’t from the general’s estate. Madam Jiang had assigned her to Xue Ning years ago.
Xue Ning came back to herself and forced down the crimson hatred rising in her eyes. Then she smiled faintly.
“Baochan… if someone wanted to harm me, what should I do?”
Baochan was still young, too naive to understand the twists of human hearts. She answered brightly without hesitation, “Then you fight back, of course.”
“Yes.”
Fight back.
She should fight back.
In her last life, because she loved Su Zhan, she had painstakingly tried to please everyone in the Su family.
Even Su Qing—who had always looked down on her—she treated with utmost respect.
And in return, all she received was betrayal and calculated ruin.
Now that fate had given her another chance, she would never allow herself to fall into that same hopeless abyss again.
And this time, she would never beg Su Zhan to seek justice for her either.
After all, in his eyes, Su Qing was his sister.
And she?
She was only an outsider.
“Do you really think A’Qing, a sheltered young lady who never leaves the inner quarters, could drug you?”
“Xue Ning, even lies should have limits.”
“You already have a history of misconduct. A’Qing is gentle and innocent. How could she possibly be compared to someone like you?”
Those cold, mocking words from her previous life still echoed clearly in her memory.
Every sentence was like a sharpened blade carving straight into her heart.
Xue Ning closed her eyes, forcing the tears back down.
“Just wait…”
Even someone as soft-tempered as her could repay hatred in full.
…
Late into the night, Xue Ning still knelt before the memorial tablets of her parents and elder brother.
Nanny Hao came several times, urging her to return and rest early.
But Xue Ning stubbornly refused.
The old nanny’s eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly before she said, “Then this old servant will stay and keep watch with Miss.”
Xue Ning merely answered with a quiet “Mm,” and continued guarding the spirit tablets.
As dawn slowly began to pale the horizon, every eternal lamp hanging inside the side hall remained undisturbed.
The temple’s morning bell rang out—deep, distant, lingering through the cold air. Young novice monks moved silently through the corridors.
The great fire from her previous life had never happened.
Looking at the intact memorial tablets of her family, Xue Ning finally let out a long breath of relief.
She reached for Baochan’s arm to steady herself. Her legs, numb from kneeling all night, trembled weakly beneath her.
Seeing this, Nanny Hao hurried forward to help as well.
Xue Ning quietly studied her for a moment before saying, “Nanny Hao, I’m exhausted today. I’ll likely need to rest in the temple for another half day before returning to Dongjing. I’ll trouble you to wait a little longer.”
Xue Ning had always treated servants politely. That was why the others dared to bully her.
But Nanny Hao did not.
Smiling warmly, the old woman replied, “Miss’s health is what matters most. This old servant will wait as long as needed.”
Xue Ning nodded and allowed Baochan and Nanny Hao to escort her back to her meditation quarters.
Once inside, she claimed fatigue, removed her outer robe, and lay down to rest.
Before sleeping, Nanny Hao brought her a cup of hot water and personally watched her drink it.
Xue Ning lowered her eyes and swallowed it quietly.
Only then did Nanny Hao smile. “Then Miss should rest well. This old servant will keep watch outside.”
Xue Ning waved her hand lightly, dismissing her.
…
