Chapter 4 — Mockery
Xue Ning only wanted to grow closer to Madam Jiang. She certainly didn’t want Su Zhan lingering in her room.
After exchanging a few quiet words with Madam Jiang, she claimed she was tired and wished to rest.
Madam Jiang gently touched her forehead and told her to lie down and recover in peace.
Once Madam Jiang rose to leave, Su Zhan—as an unrelated man—had no reason to remain.
The moment he stepped out, Xue Ning threw off the covers and climbed out of bed barefoot. She walked to the window and watched the mother and son disappear into the snowy distance.
Heavy snow drifted across the courtyard, covering the world in white. It was the same bitter season approaching year’s end.
And yet everything was completely different now.
She had stopped that cup of spring wine.
She had changed the fate that once bound her to Su Zhan.
Never again would she spend ten lonely years guarding an empty marriage, waiting hopelessly for him to toss her scraps of affection out of pity.
This time, she would push Su Zhan out of her world with her own hands.
This time, she would truly live for herself.
The thought filled Xue Ning with uncontrollable joy. Her eyes curved faintly, and for the first time in years, her chest felt light and open.
“Baochan!”
“Coming, Miss! I’m brewing your medicine!”
Baochan poked her head out from the little kitchen, only to freeze in horror at the sight of her mistress standing barefoot on the cold floor.
“Miss! You just fell into the water yesterday—why aren’t you wearing shoes?”
Xue Ning was so happy she could hardly contain herself. Barefoot, she ran straight out and threw her arms around Baochan, whose figure was still pleasantly soft and round at this age.
Her eyes reddened as she said, “Baochan, I’m hungry. Let’s have a bowl of plain noodles together tonight. No—not just tonight. Every year from now on, we’ll eat Yangchun noodles together… every single year…”
“What strange things are you saying?” Baochan looked utterly confused.
Held tightly in the girl’s warm embrace, she squirmed awkwardly. Ever since the deaths of her parents and brothers, Xue Ning had stopped getting close to anyone—except for Young Master Su.
“The Marquis Manor has every delicacy imaginable,” Baochan muttered. “Why are you suddenly craving something as simple as Yangchun noodles?”
Xue Ning rested her chin against Baochan’s shoulder as tears fell silently down her cheeks.
That was true.
The Xuanyi Marquis Manor possessed every luxury under heaven.
As long as she behaved herself and stopped asking for what was never hers, she could remain the pampered young lady of the household.
And in the future, when Su Zhan became Grand Secretary of the Inner Cabinet, she could still live safely beneath his protection, marry some honest and ordinary man, and spend her days in comfort and peace.
Now that she understood all this, what more was there for her to resent?
This year, she had come of age. By next year at the latest, Madam Jiang would likely begin arranging marriage prospects for her.
And this time…
She would marry a man who truly liked her.
She wanted to know what it felt like to be loved.
Unable to resist her pleading, Baochan eventually cooked two bowls of noodles.
Master and servant secretly hid away from the other maids and old servants, sitting beside the warm charcoal brazier as they happily ate for nearly half an hour.
After some hesitation, Baochan finally spoke.
“I heard Princess Xiuning drank too much yesterday and isn’t feeling well, so she’s staying at the manor for now. Her courtyard happens to be right beside the heir’s.”
Xue Ning lowered her head and continued eating as though she hadn’t heard.
“…Mm.”
Baochan blinked in confusion. “Miss, did you hear me properly?”
Xue Ning took a large bite of noodles. Warmth spread through her stomach.
She lifted her clear, delicate eyes. “I heard you. What does that have to do with me?”
Baochan scratched her head helplessly.
If she remembered correctly, her young miss used to hate Princess Xiuning more than anyone.
Early the next morning, Xue Ning rose before dawn.
Madam Jiang managed the Xuanyi Marquis Manor, and the household rules were not especially strict. The younger generation wasn’t burdened with many obligations either.
As long as they visited Madam Jiang’s Qiushui Court on the first and fifteenth of each month, that was enough.
But the old matriarch of the manor, Old Madam Xie, came from an illustrious family and possessed a notoriously stern temperament.
Xue Ning had always feared her, and so she rarely went to pay her morning and evening respects.
On top of that, with both parents dead and her brothers fallen on the battlefield, she had spent years living under another family’s roof. Compared to the other young ladies, she had become quieter, weaker, more withdrawn.
Madam Jiang indulged her almost unconditionally. If Xue Ning did not wish to see people, then Madam Jiang allowed her to remain hidden away in her small courtyard.
But after marrying into the Su family in her previous life, Xue Ning finally came to understand something:
One could not live thinking only of oneself.
For her sake, Madam Jiang had endured pressure from every branch of the family. She had suffered Old Madam Xie’s constant criticism, endured mockery from the second branch, contempt from the third…
And in the end, she had died so miserably.
How could Xue Ning not suspect that part of Su Zhan’s resentment toward her came from the fact that she had failed Madam Jiang so completely?
Now that fate had given her a second chance, she could not allow Madam Jiang to struggle alone in this household ever again.
“Miss, are you really going to greet the old madam today?”
Baochan fetched a cloak trimmed with grey squirrel fur and draped it over her shoulders, clearly reluctant.
“The old madam doesn’t even like you. Neither do the young ladies from the second and third branches. Wouldn’t it be better not to go?”
Xue Ning gathered the hand warmer into her arms and walked outside.
“From today onward, I’ll go every day.”
“Huh?” Baochan stared at her in disbelief. “But don’t you hate dealing with the rest of the family?”
Xue Ning smiled faintly. “A little interaction won’t hurt. We’re all family, after all.”
Baochan grinned mischievously. “Including the heir?”
Xue Ning paused.
Then, with complete seriousness, she answered, “Including the heir.”
Baochan instantly fell silent.
Following behind her mistress with wide eyes, she could only wonder if the fever had somehow burned her young miss silly.
Wasn’t she the one who loved the heir most of all? The one who dreamed of becoming his wife?
So how had they suddenly become brother and sister?
Xue Ning walked with light, quick steps.
Ever since falling ill, she had spent her days lying half-conscious in bed. Yongzhou’s weather was dreadful year-round, especially in winter, when snow could fall for months without a glimpse of sunlight.
After she became sick, Baochan’s life had grown harder too. The servants at the old estate constantly made things difficult for them.
The two of them had practically been imprisoned inside that tiny square courtyard, relying only on each other to survive.
But now, her body felt light as air.
There was nothing weighing on her heart anymore.
Freedom tasted sweeter than she had ever imagined.
Qiyun Pavilion stood furthest from Old Madam Xie’s Wanshou Hall. Back then, Madam Jiang had deliberately settled her there because she feared Xue Ning would be disliked and feel uncomfortable among the others.
By the time she crossed the snowy paths and reached the old madam’s courtyard gates, she was already breathing hard.
Baochan grew anxious. “Miss, are you alright?”
Xue Ning smiled. “I’m fine.”
Baochan immediately began wavering again. “I still think we should go back while we can.”
“Don’t be afraid, Baochan.” Xue Ning’s voice was gentle. “If it’s a road you’re meant to walk forward on, then don’t turn back.”
Her body was still somewhat weak from falling into the water yesterday.
She had intended to rest outside for a moment before entering—
But then she saw Su Zhan approaching beneath a black cloak, walking alongside the manor’s other two young masters beneath silk umbrellas.
Xue Ning had no desire whatsoever to meet him.
The instant she spotted him, she turned to leave.
But someone called out loudly behind her.
“Well, if it isn’t Miss Xue—the one who hides herself away in Qiyun Pavilion all year and never sees visitors?”
The speaker was Su Yu, eldest son of the second branch.
He possessed a pair of flirtatious peach-blossom eyes and the air of a careless playboy.
Within the Su family, he was the one who clashed with Xue Ning the most.
Sure enough, the moment he saw her attempting to enter Wanshou Hall, he reached out and grabbed her pale wrist, pulling her back.
“In past years, Miss Xue treasured her beauty so dearly she kept her doors shut day and night. So why is it that now, barely after coming of age, you suddenly can’t wait to parade yourself before Grandmother?”
Every word dripped with mockery.
He might as well have said it outright—that Xue Ning had deliberately come today to curry favor with the young masters of the Marquis Manor.
After all, she was a beautiful orphan girl.
Now that she had come of age, the most important matter before her was naturally marriage.
The heir of the Marquis Manor, Su Zhan, stood lofty and untouchable, cold and disciplined—a rising power in court.
The other young masters of the manor were handsome, noble-born, and carefree in their own ways.
To a girl like Xue Ning, marrying any one of them would be considered climbing far above her station
