Chapter 27
Because the child said it was their birthday and asked for a present, Luiyan ended up in the bustling market. When he warned that it was crowded and dangerous, the child insisted it was fine—they came here often—and pulled along Luiyan and his friend. Judging by how the vendors greeted the child, it didn’t seem like a lie. Luiyan sighed.
“Don’t go too far. It’s dangerous.”
“Don’t worry. I’m used to it.”
To Luiyan, nothing felt safe at all. The moment he looked away, the child was already wandering off. With wide golden eyes, the child looked around—Luiyan couldn’t look away from that innocent face. The golden eyes curved as the child smiled. That sly, sidelong glance made Luiyan knit his brows. When he grabbed the child who was trying to walk away, the child grinned shamelessly.
“This isn’t where the shop you mentioned is.”
“I’m just happy you came with me. Even the Duke of Brangio is over there.”
The child lifted a hand and pointed. *Things like this happen, and it’s fun, isn’t it?*
When Luiyan let go, the child looked disappointed. Was that brazenness something inherited from the Crown Prince, or was the child simply born that way…? The child showed no hesitation in displaying emotions. It made the listener more embarrassed than the speaker. What troubled him wasn’t the child’s unpredictable behavior, but…
“……”
His hand—the one holding the child—felt hot. Luiyan turned away. Duke Brangio, Raymond, was looking around the area. …Who’s the real child here? Luiyan sighed. When Raymond tapped his shoulder, Luiyan startled and stepped back. Raymond’s eyes were a paler color than the child’s. When Luiyan chuckled at the sight of the flickering golden eyes, Raymond scowled.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Your stupid expression is amusing.”
“…It’s just been a while, that’s all. It brings back memories. I used to come to places like this.”
Maybe because the young lady is still young—coming here after a long time makes everything feel new and amusing. As Raymond muttered with a pleased expression, Luiyan nodded. When skipping lessons as a boy, he used to slip away to crowded places like this. No wonder the Crown Prince picked up that rough way of speaking—probably learned it here. Boys overflowing with energy, secure in the certainty of their privileged status, tend to romanticize the lives of commoners. A foolish phase. Watching the child disappear into the crowd again, Luiyan narrowed his eyes. Raymond lifted his face and asked with a smile:
“What’s wrong?”
“Stop smiling and follow. We’ll lose them.”
“Already lost.”
“……”
“Oh, there. How’d they get all the way over there?”
Far ahead, familiar blonde hair flickered. The child was stopped at a stall. Luiyan sighed and started walking. Raymond, following behind, suddenly spoke.
“Come to think of it, you…”
He closed his mouth. When Luiyan scolded him to speak properly once he starts talking, Raymond gave an awkward laugh.
“No, it’s just—last time I went to the palace for work, I heard a strange rumor. They said some bold young lady confessed her love. In the palace.”
“……”
“That was her, right?”
Luiyan stayed silent. He barely recalled the details himself. Only the face—looking straight at him—remained vivid. The child’s flushed cheeks as she confessed her love rendered him frozen. …He had been flustered. *That child?* Raymond repeated, sounding stunned. When Luiyan shook his head, Raymond scoffed.
“Don’t lie. Blonde hair and golden eyes? Aside from you, it’s only her. No one else.”
When Luiyan didn’t answer, Raymond sighed.
“Because of her odd behavior, not a single young noble approaches her. She only recently debuted in society, right? Even at the party your family hosted—same thing. At this rate something bad will happen. Her reputation is rock-bottom.”
“……”
“If you don’t like her, then reject her. What are you doing? I heard you gave some ridiculous explanation about *her face* or something. Just ignore her like you always do. She’ll give up eventually. You’re the one dragging it out. Even now—why are you here?”
“…I rejected her. She just refuses to hear it.”
“Then ignore her. What are you doing right now?”
Luiyan didn’t answer. He couldn’t think of a single rebuttal. At first, he had done exactly as Raymond advised. Somewhere along the way, though, he found himself beside the child. Seeing him lost in thought, Raymond clicked his tongue.
“If you like her, accept it. Stop giving her false hope.”
“…Like her?”
“……”
Raymond frowned. Luiyan looked confused, and Raymond sighed again.
“You…”
“What?”
Raymond didn’t answer. He just stared at Luiyan like he was some shameless idiot. Luiyan furrowed his brows.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Look, she’s calling you. Go.”
Raymond shook his head and forcefully changed the topic. His expression said he refused to explain anything further. Luiyan sighed. Reaching to grab his friend to get an answer, he froze when the child called him. Raymond laughed when Luiyan immediately let go. Luiyan stepped on his friend’s foot in retaliation.
“…Why’d you step on me?”
Ignoring the pained complaint, Luiyan walked toward the child. Isillia was leaning against the stall, waving her hand.
“I like this one.”
When he approached, she held something out. He took it and looked up.
“I like it,” she repeated, as if emphasizing.
“…It’s a cheap hairpin.”
“That’s fine.”
“…Are you sure?”
“Yes. That’s not what matters.”
With doubt in his eyes, Luiyan stared at the pin in his hand. *Is this really okay?* Raymond urged him to hurry and pay. …Was this truly fine? When he glanced back, the child smiled, golden eyes curving. Even as he handed over the money, he couldn’t stop staring at the pin. The material was cheap, the jewel only a fake stone. What could possibly be pretty about this? He would never understand girls. Turning his head, he saw the child chatting with Raymond, both smiling.
“You like it that much?”
Raymond wasn’t looking at the child when he said it—he was looking at Luiyan. When Luiyan glanced as if to say *what are you talking about*, Raymond shook his head. After that, being around the child no longer felt awkward.
“……”
Luiyan raked a hand through his hair and sat up. He had seen that old memory again in a dream. It felt strange. Was he dwelling on the past because he hadn’t let go? He smiled faintly.
“……”
He had changed because of her. Not outwardly, but inside. His gaze and heart—how he looked at Isillia—had changed. He was never the type to treat others warmly, even if the change didn’t show. ―Perhaps that was the problem. He found his own expression in the mirror—cold, unreadable—and felt irritated. He had stayed still because he wasn’t good at expressing himself. That had been wrong.
*Isillia.*
The golden eyes that once brimmed with life now looked at him, dull and exhausted. She smiled, and he couldn’t move. Something sank inside him with a heavy thud. His chest hurt, as though someone squeezed it in their fist. He once thought it was stress from overwork—but it wasn’t.
“……”
It happened in front of her. Isillia changed so quickly it was hard to believe she was once cheerful. Her bright smile vanished, replaced by ice. That expression did not suit her. If he had treated her kindly, maybe she wouldn’t have become like that.
But he didn’t. He still didn’t. What was he afraid of? He even stepped backward. He vaguely knew it wasn’t the right choice. And yet—
“……”
If he couldn’t control his own feelings, then what was he supposed to do? He barely understood what he thought or felt. He was a fool. At least it was only ever with her.
…Pathetic excuse. There was nothing fortunate about it. Luiyan sighed and covered his face with his hand. *How can one not understand themselves?* And yet, that was the truth. He smiled bitterly. He had changed. She had changed. He thought digging up the past was meaningless, but he even dreamed of it now. Dropping his hand, he stared at the reflection—blue eyes no longer wavering, steady and bright—and stood up.
—
When the attendant announced breakfast was ready, Luiyan waved him off and climbed into the carriage. Arriving at the palace, he was heading toward the Ministry of Foreign Affairs when he noticed a commotion. He had been lost in thought too long. He stopped and looked around. He remembered the cause of the excited chatter. He had forgotten—because it had nothing to do with him. It *still* had nothing to do with him, but not going would be considered disrespectful. He sighed and turned in the opposite direction of the ministry.
“Did you hear? The person appointed as His Highness’s aide is Lady Inderik.”
“Oh, the girl they say formed an attachment with a rural noble family?”
The ladies whispered, but to Luiyan—who stood right behind them—their voices were annoyingly loud. Gossipers, delighted with other people’s business. Sharing space with them alone was irritating. He had deliberately positioned himself where he could leave quickly afterward, but perhaps he chose the wrong spot.
