CK 67

Chapter 67…

Run Away or Don’t Run Away
Setback

“Hey, Hirahara, have you ever had a setback or something?”

A summer night. Two high school students leaned against the railing of a bridge over the river.
In that quiet scene, before I realized it, I had asked Hirahara that question.

“Setback? Ah… yeah, I guess I have. Though I bounced back right away.”
“Then never mind.”

Yeah, I asked the wrong person.
With his personality, it was obviously one of those cases where he’d just “get over it himself.”

As I regretted it internally, Hirahara suddenly protested, “No, no!”

“It wasn’t as bad as what you’ve been through, Sayama, but it was rough for me too, okay?
I mean… saying this myself makes it sound like I’m bragging about being miserable, though…”

He scratched his head, sounding awkward.

…But I was the one who asked, so cutting him off now would be kind of rude.
Besides, it doesn’t hurt to listen.

Thinking that, I said quietly, “…Alright. I’ll listen.”

Hirahara nodded. “Well, I don’t know if it’ll be helpful, but…” and began to talk.

“So, I was almost killed by someone I thought was my brother. He told me he hated me, said he resented me to hell and back.
That broke me for a while.”
“Wait—what do you mean?”
“Ah… he turned into a monster. Something about his suppressed emotions being amplified or whatever…”

Ah, so he doesn’t really understand it himself.
Wanting him to get on with it, I pressed, “Alright, whatever. Then what happened next?”

“And that’s when Masato said to me,
‘No matter what those days with your brother were like, what’s inside you isn’t a lie. What’s in your heart won’t just disappear so easily.’
Those words helped me get back up.
If he hadn’t said that back then… who knows what I’d be like now.
Well, no point in playing the “what if” game!”

With that, Hirahara clapped his hands once, ending the heavy story with, “That was my fall and comeback.”

…That’s super heavy.
Being almost killed by a monster who used to be your brother?

After hearing that… I feel stupid for sulking over something like this.

…Guess I’ve got no choice but to talk now.

Bracing myself, I began, “…So, I used to run track.”

“But right before my last middle school meet, I got injured and couldn’t compete.
After that, everything just… stopped mattering.
I didn’t even know what I’d been working so hard for anymore.
Once I started thinking that, I lost the will to do anything — club, studying, school — all of it.
Then to top it off, someone from my team said, ‘You ran away from track.’
Like, what was I supposed to do? Even I didn’t know what to do anymore.”

When I finished, Hirahara didn’t say anything.

Silence settled between us.
Without words, the sound of cars passing on the road and the faint wind seemed louder.

After a while, he finally spoke.

“…Why not just do what you want to do?”
“I told you, I don’t know what that is.”
“Ah—well, maybe it doesn’t have to be a big thing, you know? Even small stuff counts.
Oh, like—your hair. You dyed it, right?”

He looked at my head as he said that.
“Yeah,” I answered.

“Why’d you do it?”

…Honestly, there wasn’t any particular reason.

It was just an impulse — I wanted to do something different for once.
So basically…

“…No reason. I just thought maybe it’d make me feel a little better.”
“Then that’s it. You wanted to do it, right?
So just like that, if there’s something — anything — you feel like doing, do it.
Because to move forward, you’ve gotta take the first step, right?
And it’s your life, so don’t let other people’s words get to you. Do what you want!”

“…Well, as long as you’re not bothering anyone else,” he added with a laugh.

This guy… laughs a lot.

But even as I gave him a tired look, Hirahara went on unfazed.

“Oh, and Masato said something after you ran off that one time —
‘If you’re born, it means you’ve got a role to play. Until you fulfill it, you can’t die.’
I don’t really get it, though.”
“…Then don’t tell me something you don’t even understand.
What are you trying to say, Hirahara?”
“Ah—well, I guess what I mean is, until you figure out what that role is,
you should just do what you want.
…Which is basically the same as what I said earlier, huh?”

…What’s that supposed to mean?
There are over seven billion people in the world — there’s no way everyone has some special “role.”

I thought about saying that, but then Hirahara muttered,
“Man, it’s hard to put things into words.”

…Maybe I should argue with Insei instead of Hirahara next time.

But still…

“…I feel a little better, maybe.”
“Oh, seriously?”
“Just a little.”

Hirahara pumped his fist with a “Yes!” and grinned like an idiot.

…What is with this guy?

I didn’t get why he was so happy, so I decided to just ignore it.

When I casually checked my phone, it was already past nine.

“…I should head home.”

Hirahara took out his phone too, checking the time.
“Yeah… it’s pretty late,” he murmured.

“Sorry for keeping you out.”
“Nah, it’s fine. I actually feel like I got to know you a little better, Sayama.”
“Ew, that sounds creepy.”
“No! Not like that!”

I’d said what came to mind without thinking, and Hirahara started panicking.

So… he was genuinely happy that I’d opened up and felt a bit better?

…Wait, so he meant that for real?

I felt like I understood Hirahara even less than before.

But then he added quietly,

“Well… if you ever have a hard time again, talk to me, alright?
I might not be able to do much besides listen, though.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
“Harsh!”
“I was joking. …Thanks.”

With that, I turned away and started walking home.

Then I heard Hirahara’s voice behind me.

“Hey—if you ever run into another monster, let me know. I’ll come help.”

Without looking back, I asked, “…You can fight too, Hirahara?”

“Not as well as Masato, but yeah, a bit.
Besides, Masato would come too.”

Insei Masato.
I still don’t get him.
He’s rude and cold, yet people trust him this much.

And to fight monsters for someone else’s sake, without thinking of himself… that’s insane.

…But whatever. I doubt I’ll ever run into another monster again.
Not that I want to, anyway.

Thinking that, I simply said, “If I do,” and started walking home.