BOAD 11

11. Last Night

I bit my lip in bewilderment as I lifted my head.

A strange sensation stabbed my mind like a hammer blow, sending a slight tremor through my whole body.

I stood still, quietly clenching my trembling fist.

I had to leave this place as it was.

Maybe it was because he kept looking at me, speaking with his eyes in a way unfamiliar to me, but inside my head, an alarm kept ringing.

“I guess I was impatient. Leo hyung is a kind person, and you’ve always had it rough.”

Noticing me hesitating and stepping back, Lloyd, who had been silently watching, spoke again.

“So I was probably anxious that you might not give me a single chance. Sorry. I messed up again.”

Another awkward apology followed.

At this point, I was so confused that I wondered if the Lloyd Alois I knew was actually someone else.

My conflicted feelings spilled out in the trembling of my hands without any filter.

I hid my tightly clenched fists behind my back and bit my lip.

“I’ll go. You must be tired; get some rest quickly. I wish I could walk you to your room, but…”

No. This person is not Lloyd Alois.

I don’t know someone who would keep apologizing like that with such sorrowful words until the very end.

Seeing me standing there quietly, Lloyd smiled faintly and turned his body away.

After a few steps, he stopped and turned back again.

“And…”

He spoke slowly.

“There’s no reason for you to forgive me. I just wanted to let you know that you deserve it.”

If I want, I can hate and hurt you anytime.

His final words were almost powerless, as if scattered into the void.

He didn’t sound sad or frustrated while dwelling on today’s failure.

The eyes of Lloyd, who had longed to reach me so much, were fully focused on me.

The fact that I was the one at the end of his distant gaze pierced deep into my heart in an instant.

And that made me even more confused.

Leaving behind only feelings I wanted to avoid and terrible confusion, Lloyd Alois disappeared from my sight.

I don’t even know how I got back to my room.

I had been staring at the spot where he left for quite a while, then fled like a runaway and hurried inside the building.

Ignoring Betty and the soldiers surprised to see me in the lobby.

Ignoring Sir Daen who stood quietly at the stairs staring at me.

Ignoring Arnold, Leofric’s aide, who had been standing at the end of the stairs when I arrived.

I ran straight into the room where I was staying.

Bang.

The door closed, and I slumped down without raising my head.

My heart still pounding ominously seemed to say that I would kick away this miraculous opportunity myself.

I curled my whole body tightly and grabbed my racing heart with all my strength.

If this is a sign that my heart would start beating for Lloyd again, I wanted to rip it out.

If I were to walk into that terrible swamp again by myself, I had to cut off my feet immediately, and if my eyes wanted to look at him again, I’d gouge them out and cut off my hands.

If Lloyd’s hypocritical and selfish actions ever made me consider any possibility other than revenge, even for a moment…

“Amelia?”

Just as I was about to turn and throw myself out the window or down the stairs, I was startled by a sudden voice.

“…!”

There was someone else in the room besides me.

Could it be that they saw me meeting Lloyd?

Though I didn’t scream, I recoiled my body backward and jumped up in place, almost fainting.

Just knowing that someone would notice my confusion made me want to die on the spot.

If Leofric ever found out and treated me coldly like in my past life…

Then I…

“…Ria, Amelia. It’s me. Leofric.”

Before I could fall backward, Leofric reached out and firmly grabbed my arm.

Seeing my eyes pop out in surprise, he seemed just as shocked.

Or maybe seeing my pale face made him feel sorry, because he pulled me into his arms and gently patted my back.

“Shh, it’s okay. I must have scared you.”

“My lord…”

“Yes, Ria. I’m here by your side now, so it’s alright.”

His soft voice comforted me.

He didn’t ask what happened or why I was trembling.

Just the warmth of his hand soothing me felt too comforting.

Almost enough to make me cry.

“…”

“It’s alright, it’s alright. I will protect you. Don’t worry about anything.”

He didn’t ask anything all night, and I didn’t push away his large hands stroking my back for a long time.

We just comforted each other in each other’s arms until we fell asleep.

And finally, until morning when I woke up in his embrace.

To be continued.

Looking back, Lloyd was strange last night.

When I came to my senses the next morning, I calmly sorted out my thoughts while watching the scenery outside the window pass by.

First of all, there was no way he knew I was going to Wains.

‘The change in honeymoon location was because of Leofric’s unexpected behavior this life.’

It was the same route toward Hamelin, the originally planned destination, so that’s why he could follow me last night.

Until today, the route to Wains and Hamelin was the same.

But besides that, Lloyd Alois’s attitude toward me yesterday had some suspicious points.

He assumed I was hurt because of him and even acted like I wanted to divorce Leofric.

He said he would wait for my choice, as if I still had a choice even though I was no longer Belmerian but Reinhardt.

He said it was okay even though the marriage was official and kept apologizing repeatedly.

‘This definitely…’

Yes, he too seemed like a completely changed person.

Lloyd never cared about other people’s wounds.

But he apologized to me saying he was sorry.

Even said he would wait for me—how else could I explain that pitiful attitude besides saying he had changed?

I thought maybe he too had returned to life like me, but I shook my head.

Remembering Lloyd’s last expression from my past life, it made no sense for him to apologize to me like that.

Unless he was trying to use me more, which would be understandable.

I sighed lightly.

Whether Lloyd had traveled back in time like me or not, the important thing was to never get involved with him again.

My regression was entirely for Leofric.

With the resentment I offered to the gods, I had to devote this given time solely to him.

More desperately and clearly, as I could never forgive myself for wavering even a moment toward him.

Perhaps because of my complicated feelings, I forgot I was in a carriage and sighed again.

“Amelia? Are you okay?”

Leofric, sitting opposite me, put down the book he was reading on his lap and asked.

He who had held me all night acted as if nothing happened this morning.

Despite my long contemplation on how to explain last night’s events after waking up.

He faced me calmly with an expression of peace.

I smiled awkwardly at him.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“If you feel uncomfortable about anything, just say so. We can take a break for a while.”

Unlike my awkward smile, Leofric just smiled gently and showed concern.

I appreciated his attitude but felt a strange unease deep inside.

I sighed quietly again without realizing it.

Wasn’t he curious?

Or did he just think it better not to know?

If it were me, I’d keep asking and digging until I knew everything from start to finish.

As I silently looked at Leofric, he slowly closed his book and straightened up.

“Do you have something to say, Amelia?”

“Huh? Ah, well…”

“You can speak freely. It’s alright.”

Why did his words “it’s alright” make me think of last night?

Feeling awkward, I avoided his gaze and carefully spoke.

“You didn’t ask about last night.”

“Was it something I absolutely needed to know?”

He asked with a smiling face.

If he asks that, then I have nothing to say.

When I couldn’t find what to answer, he chuckled softly.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. Honestly, I want to tell you that you can lean on me without worries…”

“But I think you’re uncomfortable with that.”

He added quietly.

Lean on me without worries?

What could that mean?

I cleared my throat at his words, which seemed like an extension of the conversation I ran away from yesterday.

“It’s not that I’m uncomfortable. It’s just that I don’t have to try so hard at a marriage that’s purely political.”

My vague words made Leofric’s expression subtly change.

What does he not like now?

Come to think of it, he always looked displeased when I talked about our political marriage.

Of course, there’s no rule that a political marriage must be cold and distant…

But the Leofric I knew was that kind of man.

Someone who only cared about the exact boundaries and nothing else.

It was natural to find it strange that he was acting like he cared about me.

Justifying the reason for my rejection in my mind, he opened his mouth.

“We are husband and wife, Amelia.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Still, am I strange for wanting to share small worries and lighten each other’s burdens?”

His gaze flew straight to me.

Then he smiled gently.

His face showed effort to avoid burdening me even while feeling hurt.

I recalled his gaze that had purely collided with me, which I had momentarily forgotten because of Lloyd’s absurd behavior.

“I never said you were strange, my lord.”

“Then why do you keep avoiding me? As if I had done something really bad to you.”

He lowered the corners of his eyes and gave a teasing smile.

Then he leaned slightly toward me.

As if about to come closer and do that ‘bad thing’ he mentioned.

Feeling the atmosphere in the carriage become strangely tense, I awkwardly smiled and sank back into the chair.

But the smile on his face only deepened.

Like saying it was okay no matter what I said, yet trying not to miss catching my eyes.

“Hm? Amelia. Tell me.”

He asked in a low voice.

Kind, yet seductively whispering in my ear.

His appearance was incredibly tempting, but the eyes facing me couldn’t lie.

A desperate look, as if begging me not to reject him.

If anyone else had seen those red eyes, they would have known immediately.

Whether it was acting or not.