Chapter – 21
Algerita’s Inner Feelings
“Goodness, what happened?!”
Seeing me being carried home in Lord Margus’s arms, Mutie let out a rare, emotional cry.
“I got run over by a carriage.”
“And why are you bringing her back to the mansion? Unbelievable, I’m disappointed. I reluctantly agreed to stay behind because you said you were going out, but this… It would have been far better if I had gone along…”
“It was Her Ladyship’s request. Stop grumbling and go get the ointment, quick.”
At my brother’s words, Mutie pouted but scurried off, returning with a small jar. When she opened the lid, a thick, almost suffocating scent of medicinal herbs wafted out. Inside was a thick, algae-like ointment, filled to the brim.
“It’s a secret ointment from the Mountain Folk. Here.”
I thought Mutie would apply it herself, but Lord Margus said he would handle it, which flustered me.
“I-I’ll do it myself.”
“No. I cannot grant that request.”
He slathered on the green ointment and wrapped me up in layers of bandages. Lord Margus’s bandaging technique was a bit excessive.
“Algerita. Out of respect for your wishes today, I’ll limit it to first aid, but I’m definitely taking you to see someone tomorrow.”
His touch was gentle, and if you only looked at his hands, he seemed as calm as ever, but his expression kept changing. His eyebrows would shoot up, or he’d make a sorrowful face. He wasn’t speaking much, but I could tell various emotions were swirling within him.
──Probably because he was utterly at a loss about how to handle me.
“But, taking care of Polka…”
“You don’t need to take care of Polka. Leave that to those two.”
“I’m fine. Maybe thanks to the ointment, it doesn’t hurt at all.”
“That can’t be true. …And don’t you dare try using magic on yourself to mask the pain.”
I shouldn’t be capable of such a feat, but strangely enough, it was true that I felt no pain.
“But, taking care of Polka is my job…”
“Don’t worry about that. Think about yourself.”
Being told off so sharply by Lord Margus made me feel strangely flustered.
“My… my own self, you say…”
“Yes. You should value yourself more.”
──I’ve lived my life trying not to think about myself as much as possible. Because thinking about the past makes me sad. But when I have leisurely time, I inevitably end up thinking about pointless things, and every time Lord Margus asks for my opinion, it’s painful.
“Why do you show such mercy to someone like me?”
Even with my head bowed, I could tell Lord Margus was troubled.
“…I am not someone who deserves to be treated with such care.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because…”
“Tell me. I want to hear your story.”
Haltingly, I began to talk about myself. To someone like him, who had fought for his life on the battlefield, voicing these trivial, petty worries was embarrassing.
I was born the eldest daughter of the Clarence family, but I lacked the expected healing powers, and because of that, my family called me useless.
My parents doted on Lilliana as if she were their only child, because she was born cute and possessed healing magic.
I was engaged to William as a means of maintaining political ties to the family, but he looked down on me, finding me plain compared to my glamorous younger sister.
I was sent to work in the remote Dragon Rider village where few people came and went, told to “at least make myself useful.” William, my fiancé at the time, encouraged me, saying, “That’s a noble thing to do,” but looking back now, I even wonder if he hoped that me taking on the dangerous job of caring for rideable dragons might lead to me becoming… damaged goods, or something.
Thinking about everything up until now, I felt so wretched that tears started to flow. Lord Margus’s fingers gently wiped my tears away, and his arms held me close.
“But… it can’t be helped. I’m useless…”
“You contribute plenty and are needed. In this world, there are far more people who cannot use magic. Do you think anything of those people? No, you don’t.”
“Y-yes…”
“It’s the same thing. The people in that house judge a person’s worth based on status or the presence of magic, and fail to see their true essence. A person’s value isn’t determined by such things. You should have more confidence in yourself. It’s okay to be angry. Don’t belittle yourself. You are a person who deserves respect.”
I could feel Lord Margus’s words slowly seeping into my being.
“You don’t have to get hurt anymore. If someone hurts you, rely on me. It’s painful for me to see you quietly enduring the pain.”
──I still can’t believe in myself. But I can believe in this person’s words.
Held tightly in his embrace, I couldn’t help but sob like a child in Lord Margus’s arms.
