Chapter 53
“Please refrain from associating privately with the knights.”
The stiff voice belonged to Yvonne. She was issuing a warning to someone.
What’s going on? Kaon narrowed his eyes. It wasn’t something appropriate to say to a fellow knight.
“If my words offended you, I’ll accept any punishment that befits it. But I say this because, as an elite knight, I can’t stand by and watch the discipline of the order weaken. Even the newly joined trainee knights will think poorly of it.”
“…Am I disrupting the atmosphere of the order?”
The voice that followed was thinner and lacked strength. The moment he heard it, Kaon quickly looked up toward the upper floor. Though all he could see was the ceiling, he instinctively knew Alesia was up there.
“It’s true the atmosphere has changed.”
Yvonne didn’t say “yes” outright, but it was no different from an affirmation.
“I see. That wasn’t my intention. I just… wanted to get along a little better with everyone.”
There was no way Alesia wouldn’t understand what was said. She replied in an even weaker voice. The despondency in her tone made Kaon’s chest tighten.
Just moments ago, she had clearly told him, “I don’t like you.” And yet, why was she being so submissive toward Yvonne? He would’ve preferred her to get angry at her as well—at least that would’ve made more sense.
Besides, there was something wrong with what Yvonne said. Anyone hearing her would think Alesia had acted inappropriately and disrupted the order.
But as far as Kaon knew, it was the knights who usually initiated conversations and chatter. Alesia merely responded. And even when she did speak first, it was usually to ask after someone’s well-being or encourage those who were having a hard time.
Alesia was always extremely cautious. She read the mood around her better than anyone and wouldn’t have let things deteriorate like this unless it was deliberate.
So this was clearly just hazing or Yvonne’s personal feelings. Kaon saw no reason to keep listening. He deliberately made his presence known by ascending the stairs loudly. He saw Yvonne glaring coldly at Alesia, and Alesia standing with her head bowed.
The sight made his blood boil. Her defeated expression irritated him.
“Yvonne.”
Her name made Yvonne’s eyes flicker slightly. She hadn’t expected anyone to overhear. Understandable—after the welcoming banquet, few people left early, and even fewer headed toward the training grounds.
“You know your own mistake better than I do. I won’t say more.”
“Yes.”
Yvonne didn’t object and bowed her head meekly. She would have to apologize to Alesia separately. If she didn’t, Kaon intended to impose disciplinary action. Though both were elite knights, Kaon was effectively the vice-captain and held enough authority to do so.
Once Yvonne disappeared, the corridor grew even quieter. Letting out a breath in disbelief, Kaon turned to look at Alesia. He had to say something—this tightness in his chest wouldn’t go away otherwise.
“You—”
“You…”
They both spoke at the same time. Over their overlapping voices, Alesia’s quiet tone was layered. Kaon gave a nod, gesturing for her to speak first.
After hesitating for a while, Alesia slowly looked up at him. She looked a little defeated.
“You’re still willing to take my side… even after I said I hated you?”
“…It’s not about taking your side. I just couldn’t overlook something unjust. Don’t let Yvonne’s words bother you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Kaon hadn’t expected her to be so direct, so he paused briefly before letting out a sigh and replying. Alesia, who had been quietly watching him, lowered her gaze again.
“…I’m sorry.”
Kaon’s eyes widened in surprise. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard her say sorry, but this time felt different.
Especially since the moment her secret was discovered, this was the first genuine apology. She wasn’t apologizing to manipulate the situation in her favor—she truly felt sorry.
“It’s not that I hate you. It’s just…”
She trailed off and then let out a small laugh. The deflating sound of it felt oddly sad.
“I hate myself.”
She murmured quietly and raised her eyes. Her usually radiant red eyes were clouded with darkness.
“Forget what I said earlier. I know it’s ridiculous to say that after spilling everything, but I was out of line.”
“…”
“I’m sorry.”
Kaon didn’t know what to say, so he just listened. Alesia apologized once more and left. Her retreating figure looked especially small that day.
A few days passed.
Alesia no longer attended the knights’ meetings. Since no mage had ever participated before, her absence seemed natural—but Kaon kept glancing at the now-empty seat.
“It’s not that I hate you. I just…”
“I hate myself.”
Those words echoed endlessly in his mind. The more he thought about it, the more he felt he could understand why she said it.
Alesia was the only one in a family of mages who couldn’t become a mage herself. She seemed to see herself as a failure. Even if others didn’t think that way, it must’ve been despairing to her.
Yet at the same time, Kaon couldn’t completely understand. She was the daughter of a ducal house. Beautiful, intelligent, and charismatic.
He didn’t deny how powerful magic was. He knew how many people had desperately pursued that mysterious force, only to fail in the end.
But that wasn’t everything in the world. Even without magic, Alesia had countless talents. She could effortlessly translate ancient languages that most noble heirs loathed, had a photographic memory, and unmatched focus and attention.
Her keen awareness was so exceptional that she remembered every servant’s name and would ask if they were okay when they looked unwell. No wonder she adapted quickly even when staying with the family of her sworn enemy.
And that wasn’t all. Even when her secret was discovered, she was sharp enough to turn the tables by pinpointing his weakness. How many people could stay that composed and clever in such a situation?
To Kaon, Alesia was truly remarkable. That’s why he couldn’t fully grasp why she hated herself so much.
The way her bright eyes dimmed in an instant—it lingered in his mind.
As the sound of crunching leaves echoed, the tense atmosphere gradually eased. The dry leaves underfoot meant they had almost exited the forest.
After completing their patrol of the monster-infested woods, the group spotted unusually bright light seeping through the tangled branches ahead. They had reached the entrance.
Relieved to have made it out safely, sighs of relief escaped their lips without anyone prompting. No matter how often they did it, no one could ever let their guard down in the forest.
“Lady Alesia! Come to think of it, you haven’t met Nils’s wife yet, have you?”
“Why bring that up, you idiot?”
Today’s patrol group was led by Maurice and Nils. Alesia, who had been walking in silence, smiled faintly at the cheerful voice.
“You’ll be shocked when you see her. She’s so beautiful.”
“Is that true, Nils?”
“Oh man, that guy’s driving me crazy.”
Nils raised a hand to his forehead, as if exasperated. Then, scratching behind his ear, he looked oddly bashful.
“I’m embarrassed to say it myself, but to me, she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. I guess others might see her that way too.”
“Ooh! She’s too good for you!”
“I know that too, you punk!”
As expected, a chorus of teasing followed. Nils swung his large hand like a beast’s paw. Maurice, used to it, dodged nimbly. The others chuckled at the amusing sight.
Kaon, walking just half a step ahead, glanced at Alesia’s profile. For the first time in a while, there was a hint of a smile on her face, which had lately been full of gloom.
‘That Maurice guy… he’s actually useful.’
For once, Kaon appreciated his loudmouth antics. He even resolved to let it slide if Maurice kept on talking.
“Why on earth did you choose Nils? I’m really curious.”
“She said she liked dependable men. Satisfied?”
“Fair enough. If you live with a bear, you probably don’t have to worry ab—Ow!”
Smack! With a loud noise, Maurice grabbed the back of his head and bent forward. It wasn’t common to see a noble get hit like that, but Maurice had asked for it, so he had no right to complain.
“I can understand your wife. It’s really reassuring being with Nils.”
“She used to tell me that all the time.”
The fierce-looking Nils quickly returned to his usual gentle demeanor. Smiling fondly, he said his son thankfully took after his wife, and that nothing could be a greater blessing.
As the light chatter continued, Maurice—still rubbing his swollen head—lifted his gaze with a groan. His eyes lit up as if he’d found a great topic and immediately asked:
“What kind of man do you like, my lady?”
