My Secret Daddy

Chapter 7

1.

The chill of the wooden floor seeped through Ruby’s skin.

It was the punishment room at St. Antonio Orphanage, a place where ice was said to form even in the middle of summer. Her back burned as though icicles had clung to the wounds left by the beating. Having learned that pain was born entirely from consciousness, Ruby prayed that she would fall asleep soon.

That she would hurry up and disappear from this tiresome nightmare…

Then warmth spread throughout her body, and a sweet drowsiness came over her.

For the first time in her life, Ruby was having a happy dream.

“What’s your name, mister?”

“Ha Seonghyeon.”

That afternoon, Ruby had been beaten by the children at the orphanage and punished by the nuns. She had gone hungry all day and been forced to clean the storage room.

Ruby was nothing short of a nuisance in this place.

She had already been rejected by two adoptive families, and she was older than most of the children. On top of that, because she was an Asian child, making her do menial chores would easily lead to accusations of racial discrimination.

To make matters worse, most of the children were Black and hostile toward Asians. They wanted to hide Ruby somehow because she stood out even when she did nothing.

That day, too, Ruby was scheduled to be locked in solitary confinement after finishing her cleaning. The solitary room was the step immediately preceding the punishment room.

As Ruby passed through the backyard, she suddenly sprinted toward a door that had been left slightly open after some visitors entered.

Her only thought was that even if she had to die, she would not die in this hell.

She had not even reached the main road when she became dizzy and collapsed.

Someone shouted.

“Hey! Are you OK?”

“Damn… Just my luck.”

“Huh? Are you Korean?”

When Ruby raised her head, she saw a man standing before her who looked like the angel Raphael from the Bible.

He extended a long, pale hand toward her.

“I’m sorry! Are you hurt?”

Dazed by his dazzling face, Ruby blurted out something she didn’t actually mean.

“I’m not hurt, but it hurts.”

“Then you are hurt!”

“If you’re really sorry, just give me fifty dollars.”

He seemed slightly taken aback, but soon opened his backpack and pulled out his wallet.

While he took out the money, Ruby stared at his left hand. She noticed the ring on his ring finger and the strangely shaped case he was carrying.

He handed her a fifty-dollar bill and asked gently,

“Do you want more?”

Ruby hesitated for a moment before firmly shaking her head.

“That’s enough.”

“What are you going to do with the money?”

“I’m going to buy a train ticket.”

“Where are you going?”

“You don’t need to know. But what are you carrying?”

“This? It’s a violin.”

“Is it yours?”

“Yeah. I’m performing here tonight. You should come watch.”

“I’m leaving tonight.”

“Don’t tell me you’re planning to take a train all by yourself.”

“Never mind that. What’s your name, mister?”

He lowered his head and gave her an even gentler smile than before.

“Ha Seonghyeon.”

It felt as though all the light in the world had gathered on that face.

Ruby found it strangely unfamiliar that she could actually feel her own heart beating.

It was the first time anything like that had ever happened to her.

“I’m telling you right now, I’m not a beggar. I’ll definitely pay you back someday!”

And with that, Ruby ran toward a destination she didn’t even know.

After running in a circle around the block and sneaking back into the orphanage, Ruby was beaten once again.

Rubbing her stinging back against the wall, Ruby looked up at the banner that had been hanging on the outside wall of the building for a week.

<Ha Sung Hyun & Friends — Charity Concert Only for St. Antonio>

That night, Ruby quietly crept down the hallway with a small backpack on her shoulders. Inside were the fifty dollars she had held in her hands for the first time in her life, her diary, two or three changes of clothes, a packet of crackers, and a few pieces of cheese.

She remembered someone saying that the Korean violinist named Ha Seonghyeon was so famous that even in America, where names were written in a different order, he was famous enough to use his Korean name exactly as it was, like a proper noun.

At the time, Ruby had been stealing cheese while cleaning the kitchen.

In any case, everyone had gone to the auditorium, making it the perfect day to escape.

She was just about to pass through the back door when a strange sound she had never heard before caught her attention.

As if possessed, Ruby turned back toward the auditorium.

The back door leading to the stage was slightly ajar.

On the cramped stage behind the red curtains, four people were playing their respective instruments.

As though it had been waiting for her, Seonghyeon’s figure seemed to float before Ruby’s eyes.

The little violin was producing an enormous sound in his arms.

Ruby had never even imagined that such a sound could come from a handful of strings.

Before she knew it, she understood that the violin was not simply resting against his arm.

It was part of him.

And before the piece had even ended, Ruby was thrown back onto the cold wooden floor.

Even while she was being beaten and locked away, Seonghyeon’s music continued to linger vividly in her ears.

Several hours later, at the exact moment she had given up on everything in the middle of a nightmare engulfed in flames, the door to the world shattered, and an angel reached out his hand.

As though it were some kind of miracle, he was standing right before her eyes.

“Ruby!”

Ruby wrapped her arms around Seonghyeon’s neck with all her strength.

Only after barely realizing that she was lying in her own bedroom rather than on the orphanage’s wooden floor did Ruby begin to shed tears of relief.

Seonghyeon closed his eyes as he held Ruby in his arms.

He, too, had become a child in order to escape his fear.

“How are you feeling now? You look better. What happened to you?”

“Did you come to Korea because you want to remarry?”

“What?”

“Grandma said you came to Korea to find a woman like Mom.”

“Who… Did Grandma tell you that?”

Instead of answering, Ruby glared at him with eyes filled with resentment.

“No. Do you really not know your dad? Do you think I would have brought you all the way here just because of something like that? And if I wanted to remarry, I could have done it in New York. Why would I come all the way here?”

“Then why did you come?”

Seonghyeon answered as honestly as he could.

Perhaps it was almost a confession.

“I was scared.”

Ruby’s large eyes busily searched his face.

“I was scared when I thought that… I might someday end up in a situation where I couldn’t take responsibility for even you.

“I spent so long wanting to escape from that family, but then I started thinking that maybe I would need them after all.

“Especially… I thought I needed to stay close to Grandma. For your sake, Ruby, I thought I needed to go somewhere where there were people I could rely on.”

“But you were going to leave me behind and come here alone!”

“I knew you’d come with me.”

Ruby watched him suspiciously once again.

“You’re at an awkward age, so I felt bad forcing you to come. If you had said you didn’t want to come, I was going to cancel everything, too.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

Before he knew it, Seonghyeon had returned to being the young boy he had been on that terrible afternoon of the funeral, making excuses before a little girl.

He was genuinely afraid that she might hate him.

And once again, he was surprised by himself.

Just a few years ago, he had never doubted himself. He had always believed he was someone who gave generously and possessed an unwavering spirit.

Or rather, that was what he had believed all along.

But it had been nothing more than an illusion.

The moment Hyejeong’s body fell from the sky, the most important thing in his life had shattered along with it.

Once the shell had broken away, all that remained was a sheltered young master who had never experienced hardship in his life.

“Dad’s such an idiot, isn’t he… I’m so scatterbrained… I’m an idiot who can’t even act his age…”

“I told you it’s okay with me. I said you could cry as much as you wanted when you’re with me.”

As though she had seen straight through Seonghyeon’s heart, Ruby gently cupped his face in both hands.

Then, just as she had that day, she softly and tenderly pressed her lips against his.

Before he knew it, Seonghyeon felt at peace, and his eyes closed of their own accord.

2.

When Seonghyeon entered the kitchen, the scent of ginger and honey filled the air.

Seonmi turned off the stove and looked back at her son.

“How’s Ruby?”

“You were worried, weren’t you? She’s fine now.”

“Does she have some kind of illness?”

“No. She went through a lot of traumatic experiences when she was young. More importantly, Mother…”

Seonmi looked at her son’s solemn face with a slightly uneasy expression.

“I’m not getting remarried.”

“You don’t really mean that, do you?”

“At least not until Ruby becomes an adult.”

At that, Seonmi’s expression softened slightly.

“Thank goodness you didn’t say you’d never remarry. So, would next year be okay?”

“I don’t know. I can’t make plans right now.”

“Did Ruby collapse because we talked about your remarriage?”

“Try looking at it from Ruby’s perspective. She’s a child who believes I’m the only person in the world she can trust.”

Seonmi nodded as she poured ginger tea into a teacup.

“I brewed this for Ruby, but you have a cup, too. It’ll warm you up.”

“You understand what I’m saying, right?”

“Of course. It’s understandable. She might be anxious about what will happen to her if you remarry and have a child, even though you aren’t her biological father.”

Seonghyeon sat down at the table as though relieved and took the teacup Seonmi held out to him.

Seonmi sat across from him and poured tea into her own cup.

“But she said she wanted to live with me.”

“You know how much Father hates Ruby.”

“Why would Father hate Ruby if you met a good woman? I feel the same way. We can tell everyone now that Ruby is your adopted daughter and let her live with me. She’s grown up enough now. You can send her to college and find her a good match afterward.”

“I came to Korea so Ruby and I could live near you, Mother.”

“To live with Ruby?”

“Hyejeong… she floated up right before our eyes.”

“Seonghyeon, it’s time to let her go.”

“But… something unbelievable happened. Hyejeong floated into the air, then looked straight at me and spoke. I could hear her voice as clearly as if she were standing right beside me.”

“What did she say?”

“Take good care of Ruby.”

“Of course you had a nightmare and mistook it for reality. Wait, don’t tell me… Ruby…”

“No. But ever since that day, Ruby really does feel like Hyejeong’s daughter.

“Of course I accepted her as my daughter before that, too, but this feels different.

“How should I put it… It’s almost as if Ruby is the last gift Hyejeong left me.

“Do you understand?”

Seonmi reached across the table and gently stroked the back of her son’s hand.

“Yes. I suppose that could be true. The two of you went through something extraordinary together, after all. Of course I understand. But…”

“Ruby is still young. If I bring her all the way here and tell her to move into Father’s house, it’ll be another shock for her.”

Seonmi had no desire to argue with her son, who had only just returned after so long.

“Mom is happy just knowing that you live on the same piece of land as me. I used to see you only once or twice a year, but now I can see you every day if I want. What more could I ask for?

“But before she collapsed, Ruby said something strange.”

Seonghyeon gazed into his mother’s eyes, waiting for her to continue.

“She said, ‘I thought Grandma was on my side.’ I have no idea what she meant by that.”

Seonmi quietly watched the crease between her son’s brows deepen.

Eventually, Seonghyeon smiled as though it were nothing important.

“Well… I suppose she meant something similar to what I told you. Anyway, she still has to adjust to her new surroundings, and more importantly, she’s a high school senior. I don’t want to give her anything else to worry about.”

“I haven’t given her much to worry about.”

“I know.”

“Ruby might be different by next year.”

“What?”

“She might even have a boyfriend.”

“Ah. Yes.”

“I’m telling you to stop thinking of Ruby as a little child after this year.”

“That’s true. Oh, I’ll bring you some ginger tea.”

“I’ll bring it myself. You go change your clothes.”

3.

Eunbin stayed shut up in his room throughout dinner, without moving an inch.

Except for the twenty minutes he spent showering, Seonghyeon’s phone remained in his hands the entire time.

Whenever the screen went dark, he turned it on again. Whenever it went dark once more, he turned it back on.

And whenever the phone rang, he answered it naturally, as though it already belonged to him.

When the calls became less frequent, he sprawled across his bed and began studying the girl’s face with sharp eyes, as though he were about to dissect it.

He carefully brushed the bangs that had fallen over her forehead aside with his index finger.

The screen went dark, as though it disliked his touch.

“Ah… Go Eunbin, what the hell are you doing…”

But as soon as the screen lit up again, he naturally continued his foolish behavior.

His index finger, which had been stroking the girl’s rosy cheek, stopped at her exposed shoulder.

Disgusted with himself, he threw the phone toward the other side of the bed.

“Why am I acting like this?!”

Should he run to Teacher’s house right now?

He knew the address and phone number. It was a neighborhood Eunbin knew well, so he thought he could roughly figure out which house it was.

But he shook his head.

He was afraid he might actually confirm the situation he was so worried about.

Once again, he picked up the phone and gazed at the mysterious girl.