UTBTR 07

Chapter 7

I felt like absolute shit. If you asked me why I felt like shit, the answer was simply because I felt like shit. After ending my not-quite-a-date with Reilly Craha at dawn in a completely messed-up mood, I went back to my studio apartment, slept for a while, and woke up feeling even worse.

“Your mood is awful these days? The worst things these days are your internal organs and your primary care doctor’s mood.”

Dr. Jung Sihoon answered while looking over the results of my blood test.

“Doctor, forget that. Just listen to my relationship problems.”

“Don’t overthink it. Just go straight at him. You’re good at that. Saying whatever comes to mind without thinking.”

“But… but if that bastard’s feelings have cooled and I’m the only one clinging to him, nothing is going to change, is it?”

“So in the end, isn’t it just that? You’re being ambiguous, and your boyfriend is being ambiguous too, so the two of you are just making each other feel awkward. Anyway, no alcohol for two weeks. You have to follow it this time.”

“Yes, sir…”

I answered weakly. The doctor wrote several medications into my chart and continued firmly.

“This time, I’m prescribing two weeks’ worth of medicine. You must not take this medicine on days when you drink. That means you’ll be late for your appointment by however many days you drink, right? Finish all the medicine and then come.”

“Ah, that’s so cruel…”

“Still, I give you credit for the fact that you don’t lie. Finish them all and come back.”

I collapsed over Dr. Jung’s desk, making a dying noise. He gently pushed my head away with his palm and added, this time giving me relationship advice.

“His feelings might not have cooled, you know.”

“But why does an internal medicine doctor have to give me this kind of advice?”

“I told you. That guy is the kind of bastard who kisses you out of nowhere after flirting with you for a bit, and then suddenly has sex with you. He couldn’t possibly act like this if his feelings hadn’t changed.”

“So why does an internal medicine doctor have to give me psychiatric advice? Go get counseling.”

“Hing…”

“You’re twenty-seven. Making that sound isn’t going to make me pity you. Your anemia has gotten worse, too. Your blood pressure is low. How are you in the mornings?”

“Damn it, I’m cute even though I’m twenty-seven. Anyway, I have a lot of a runny nose and feel terrible. I’m kind of lethargic. I’m really stressed.”

“Is it because of your relationship?”

Perhaps he wanted to ignore my claim that I was cute, because he completely ignored it and suddenly asked that.

I rested my chin on my hand and thought for a moment before shaking my head.

“I have deadlines, I can’t write well, I have tons of assignments, and my love life isn’t working out. It’s a combination of everything.”

“The deadline isn’t urgent, though.”

“Even so, having it hanging over me is stressful.”

I answered sulkily and fell into thought again. I absentmindedly listened to the sound of his fingers rapidly typing as he filled in my chart, while staring at Dr. Jung Sihoon’s handsome profile.

“Doctor, I need this for writing. Can I do some research with you?”

“Are you writing a medical story? No wonder you got writer’s block.”

What did he think of me that he immediately said that just because I asked for research? I narrowed my eyes irritably, but in truth, I didn’t have enough background knowledge to write a medical story.

Still frowning unhappily, I lay across the desk and slowly corrected his misunderstanding.

“No, no. I can’t write something that serious. Doctor, if you became a hero, what do you think you’d do?”

“A hero?”

“You know, like the heroes in movies. A warrior who protects Earth. Something like Superman.”

“Would I get a pension? I’d probably buy a villa in the Maldives first.”

“I guess I was wrong to ask you.”

I grumbled while rolling my head around on the desk. Then I glanced toward the electronic waiting board beyond the door. There still wasn’t a single patient waiting besides me.

It seemed fine to hang around Dr. Jung’s office a little longer. I still had more than thirty minutes before my appointment.

Apparently not interested in the progress of my writing at all, Dr. Jung updated my medical records and went into nagging mode.

“You haven’t been eating again, have you?”

“I’m going to eat after I finish here. I promised to buy food for some freshmen. We’re going to eat meat, so don’t worry.”

“Don’t drink.”

“I really won’t this time.”

I had hurriedly written and sent the early draft and synopsis of my new novel, and I had more or less finished my assignments. I also didn’t have any exams immediately ahead of me.

If I really wanted to stop drinking, this seemed like the right time to do it.

When I obediently answered, Dr. Jung frowned as though he didn’t trust me and continued asking questions.

“What side dishes do you have at home?”

“Kimchi, tuna, and kimchi with tuna.”

“Two out of those three are canned food.”

“Actually, the kimchi is instant kimchi too.”

“Is your dream to die young, Ajin?”

“That’s a misunderstanding. I just have a weak mentality and am vulnerable to stress.”

I answered indifferently, and Dr. Jung clicked his tongue.

“I’ve never seen anyone with such a weak mentality living like a bulldozer the way you do.”

“Then remember this well. You can live like a bulldozer and still have a weak mentality.”

“Your appointment is over, so stop disturbing my business and get out. I have a new customer.”

I quickly turned my head to check beyond the door. Sure enough, a new patient’s name had appeared on the waiting board. Apparently, someone had come and registered during that brief moment.

I clicked my tongue and reluctantly stood up. Dr. Jung finished my medical record and, before switching the waiting board to the next patient, spoke to me gently.

“Does someone suddenly become a hero one day?”

“My novel? Yes.”

“Then they also suddenly gain superhuman abilities?”

“Yes.”

He nodded calmly, then tilted his head slightly.

“If it were me, I think I’d be devastated.”

He said something I hadn’t expected.

I stared blankly at him before opening the door, then looked up at the ceiling and tilted my head again.

“‘Devastated’?”

“Yes. Because if I suddenly gained such an ability, I think I’d start thinking about all the things I couldn’t do before. If only I’d had this ability, I could have done this or that…”

“For example, winning the lottery, buying a house, becoming successful early and turning into a huge celebrity. Things like those possibilities.”

“Ah. I get what you mean.”

I nodded while holding my eco-bag under my arm.

I understood what he was trying to say without much difficulty. It was slightly different from the focus of my original question, but it seemed like useful advice for designing a character.

After thinking for a moment, I asked a more specific question.

“Actually, I wanted to ask what it would be like if someone in the medical profession became a hero.”

“Oh, that’s what you meant?”

“He wears a white coat, so he’s Hero White.”

“What kind of setting is that? You barely put any thought into it.”

“Don’t criticize someone else’s setting. Just help me.”

I snapped back sulkily, and Dr. Jung shrugged.

“Then how about giving him a cosmic-hero personality? Someone who suffers over humanity because he thinks about all the people he couldn’t save with his ability.”

“He sounds like a really good person. Very heroic. I like it. I’ll keep that in mind. I’m bad at writing good people.”

I thanked him as sincerely as I could, but Dr. Jung Sihoon, who had been looking at me coldly over his glasses, ruined the nice atmosphere.

“Don’t drink.”

“That’s the third time, Doctor. If I say I won’t drink, try believing me. I’m going to eat right in front of the hospital, so come check on me if you want. Goodbye.”

“Why would I go all the way there to monitor you? Anyway, take care. And talk honestly with your boyfriend.”

“I can’t do that. Absolutely impossible. Anyway, loyalty.”

“If he turns out to be trash again, I’m not helping you.”

“Loyalty, loyalty.”

After saying goodbye to Dr. Jung Sihoon, I went to the pharmacy with my prescription.

By then, it was exactly time for my appointment, so I went straight to the restaurant we had agreed on in the alley nearby.

Buying food for freshmen was one of the small joys of being an upperclassman with a personal income. Since it was daytime, we decided not to order alcohol and simply ate a normal meal.

They had classes in the afternoon, so we soon parted ways.

After that, I became a wanderer with nowhere to go.

Reilly had mentioned making me some dessert, but we hadn’t properly made any plans.

Yesterday, while we were standing there facing each other intensely in that awkward state, the atmosphere had become one where it seemed like we were about to kiss. So I had closed my eyes.

But just when I closed my eyes, Reilly, who had seemed absolutely unwilling to move until that very moment, suddenly stepped back cleanly.

We parted like that and went home.

Naturally, it hadn’t exactly been the kind of atmosphere where we could make plans.

I still didn’t know the reason or the circumstances, but one thing was obvious.

That bastard was acting strangely ambiguous and keeping his distance.

Reilly Craha had never originally been such a gentlemanly person.

I was slowly making my way toward a café to kill some time when, all of a sudden, I locked eyes with a familiar person sitting in the café across from the restaurant where I had eaten with the freshmen.

He had ordered a cup of coffee.

Those unmistakable violet eyes.

Oh, fuck. Why is that bastard here?

Why else would he be here?

He must have already figured out that I was going to eat with the freshmen at the restaurant across the street and taken a seat there to keep an eye on me.

“Do you have no respect for the law?”

“I live perfectly well without it.”

“I never expected such a shameless answer. Why are you suddenly here?”

“We agreed to go on a date today.”

I stared at him and answered coldly.

I intended to tell him the truth he was so blatantly ignoring.

“We didn’t ‘agree to go on a date.’ You just said we should.”

“Since you have nothing else to do anyway, please accompany me.”

But Reilly Craha was shameless as always.

He calmly placed a hand against my back and gently guided me onto the path he wanted to take.