12. I Want to Get My Memories Back
âYou know, donât you, Executive Director?â
âThat the employee you saved three years ago was Ms. Yoon-kyung. You know that, donât you?â
Yoon-kyungâs hand, resting on her thigh, had been fidgeting restlessly. Finally making up her mind, she raised her head.
As expected, Do-heonâs gaze was already fixed on her.
âDo you know why I left Kwonseong?â
âI only have my suspicions. I donât know for certain because I never heard it directly from the person involved.â
âHow did youâŠâŠâ
âAre you asking how I know, even though I was the one involved in that accident? How I know despite having lost my memory?â
Afraid that Do-heon might misunderstand what she meant, Yoon-kyung hurriedly shook her head.
âThatâs not what I meant.â
âDonât you think my memories have come back?â
If they had, I wouldnât be looking at you like this.
Unable to say those words aloud, Yoon-kyung replaced them with a bitter smile.
Do-heon watched her. Unlike the flustered expression she had shown moments ago, her eyes had become calm.
âI asked the HR team to get me Kang Yoon-kyungâs rĂ©sumĂ© that was still kept at the company. Thatâs when I heard them talking. Thatâs how I found out that the female employee I supposedly saved three years ago was you.â
Even after searching through the news articles, all Do-heon had found was that he had saved a female employee at the company. The womanâs identity had never been revealed.
That was fortunate, but there was no way to stop people from spreading stories by word of mouth.
âThe employees must have been surprised, too.â
âI didnât tell them anything about you.â
âIt probably wouldnât have been wrong anyway. So it doesnât really matterâŠâŠâ
âHow do you know what they would have said?â
Do-heon cut her off. He looked displeased with Yoon-kyungâs attitude.
âDid you commit a crime?â
A look of displeasure briefly crossed Do-heonâs face. Once again, it was because Yoon-kyung merely smiled instead of answering.
âIs your ear⊠okay?â
Yoon-kyung stared at Do-heon in surprise.
âYou came to see me, didnât you?â
Do-heon remembered Yoon-kyung coming to his hospital room with a bandage wrapped around her left ear.
He remembered.
âTo be honest, I didnât remember at first. But after hearing that you were the person I saved, I remembered later.â
The vague memory suddenly became crystal clear, as if a fog had been lifted, and the face of the person in that memory emerged.
âIs it⊠okay now?â
The face drenched in tears overlapped with the face before him. Do-heonâs gaze moved from Yoon-kyungâs eyes to the ear that had once been wrapped in bandages.
ââŠYes.â
Ignoring the stinging pain in her throat, irritated by the heat rising inside her, Yoon-kyung forced herself to answer.
She had never imagined that knowing Do-heon remembered something about her could affect her this deeply.
If she let her guard down even for a moment, she felt like tears would spill over.
âWhy did you cry like that back then?â
Because I was sorry that you were hurt instead of me.
Because I was angry that you had lost not only the future we could have shared, but every memory of the past we had shared.
Because it hurt that I no longer existed in your life.
And because I was grateful that, despite everything, you had survived.
Because I still loved the man who had forgotten me.
âYou had been unconscious for fifteen days. I had been hoping you would wake up, so when I heard that you had finally regained consciousness, I went to your roomâŠâŠâ
âNot then.â
Yoon-kyung stared at Do-heonâs lips.
âIf not thenâŠâŠâ
âYou came on the day I was discharged, too.â
Yoon-kyungâs eyes trembled.
âYou were watching me from a distance. That was you, wasnât it?â
Yes. Yoon-kyung had been crying then, too.
Perhaps she thought he couldnât see her from that distance. Even though their eyes met several times, she never looked away.
He had been too far away to hear her, but unlike in the hospital room, her face had been terribly distorted with grief, unable to hide her sorrow.
âHuman memory is strange. When I thought it had been completely cut off, I couldnât remember even a single important event. But once I found one clue, even the smallest memories started becoming clear.â
That was why he began to hope.
One small memoryâand all the memories that might return one after another because of it.
âYou asked why it was you, didnât you?â
Do-heon looked directly at Yoon-kyung with unwavering eyes.
âI donât really know the reason either. But, Kang Yoon-kyung, youâre bothering me to an unreasonable degree.â
In America, no matter what he did, his mind had never reacted. But ever since meeting Yoon-kyung, his head throbbed as though memories might return simply from seeing her face.
âI want to get my memories back.â
The two-year gap he had lost in the accident, and even the person he couldnât remember forgetting.
âI want to know why you keep avoiding me, and why I canât seem to ignore you because of it.â
Do-heon watched Yoon-kyungâs anxiously trembling eyes.
âI think I need to know.â
Yoon-kyung opened the door and stepped inside the entryway. With the last of her strength, she untied her shoelaces.
As she bent forward, the bag hanging from her shoulder slipped off and dropped beside her leg with a soft thud.
She took off her shoes without bothering to arrange them neatly as she normally did, then walked into the living room.
The strap caught around her fingertips looked as though it might slip away at any moment. Her bag dragged along the floor behind her.
âHaaâŠâŠâ
The moment she stepped onto the rug, Yoon-kyung collapsed onto it.
The mental exhaustion weighed heavily on her body. She didnât even have the strength to move a finger.
As soon as she returned from lunch with Do-heon, Yoon-kyung had been subjected to everyoneâs attention and stares.
She didnât know whether someone had seen them together or whether the female employees who had been with Ji-hyun had quickly spread the news, but the entire company already knew that she had eaten alone with Do-heon.
It had practically become accepted as fact that Do-heon had deliberately come there to have lunch with Yoon-kyung.
She hadnât bothered explaining that the place he needed to visit that afternoon was near the company, or that he had simply stopped by because his schedule allowed it.
There was no need to explain something no one had asked about. Whatever the reason, it was true that she had eaten alone with him. It was also true that he had gone out of his way to pay attention to an ordinary employee.
What had left Yoon-kyung in her current state wasn’t Seong-heeâs relentless calls, nor Ji-hyunâs hysteria that had continued throughout the afternoon.
âI donât really know the reason either. But, Kang Yoon-kyung, youâre bothering me to an unreasonable degree.â
It was the conversation she had shared with Do-heon that had tormented her throughout the afternoon.
âI want to get my memories back.â
Yoon-kyung covered her face with her arms and curled herself into a ball.
She blocked her vision as though she wanted to keep out even the smallest ray of light and every distracting thought.
But despite her efforts, Do-heonâs face appeared in her mind, and the strength left her arms.
His unwavering eyes, filled with determination, refused to disappear.
âIâm sure I have the memory somewhere, but I donât know the personâs face.â
He said he wanted to recover the two years before the accidentâand the memory of one particular person.
âI vaguely remember doing things together. I think I can even faintly remember the emotions I felt. But I just canât remember who it was.â
When that lonely-looking face came to mind, a painful groan escaped Yoon-kyung.
She didnât know what would be best for Do-heon.
Unlike in the past, when everything had been certain, she no longer knew what the right thing to do was.
She had managed to endure even after meeting Do-heon.
Yoon-kyung shook her head and rubbed the corners of her eyes with her sleeve.
The cuff of her shirt grew darker as it soaked up her tears.
âExecutive Director, if youâre feeling stuffy, should I open the window?â
From the driverâs seat, Kyung-min watched Do-heon through the rearview mirror.
He had drunk more than usual.
âIâm fine.â
He really was a completely different person whenever he drank.
Thinking of CEO Kim, the business associate who had dinner with Do-heon, Kyung-min shook his head.
He drove smoothly across the bridge. Beyond it, countless lights of different colors illuminated Seoulâs night.
âI have nothing to do with the memories you lost, Executive Director. We were simply both involved in the accident. I didnât help you in any wayâŠâŠâ
âNo matter how much I think about it, I just canât understand.â
Do-heon opened his eyes as Yoon-kyung came to mind.
Yes.
Everything was because of that wordâunderstanding.
The reason Do-heon had taken even the slightest interest in Yoon-kyung was the same.
He couldnât understand why a woman who had graduated from Korea Universityâs College of Business Administration and had previously worked at Kwonseong would stay at a company that seemed to have no future.
That small curiosity had been the beginning.
The first time Do-heon had looked for Yoon-kyungâs rĂ©sumĂ©, just as he had told her, was to check whether she was capable of handling the project.
He had never expected that she would turn out to be another victim of the accident three years agoâthe very employee he had saved.
âIâm not the kind of altruistic person who would sacrifice myself to save someone else.â
Of course, since he had no memories, what people around him told him was all he had to rely on.
But from the beginning, Do-heon had never believed what everyone said about him throwing himself in front of a vehicle for an employee whose face he didnât even know.
He had lost two years of memories.
He hadnât lost every memory he had ever possessed.
Unless that person had been someone as precious to him as his own life, why would he have done something so insane?
Do-heon knew himself well.
He was not the kind of person who would ever risk his life for someone else.
