Chapter 02
<Ah, ah.>
What came from the glass orb was the voice of a woman that could not have sounded more languid.
Her voice was so languid that it sounded more like, “Deeeaar new studeeents.”
The freshmen murmured among themselves at the unexpectedly young-sounding voice.
“Isn’t her voice way too young?”
“That’s strange. I heard the principal is already over a hundred years old.”
“A hundred? Hey! How can a person be over a hundred years old?”
“That’s because she’s not human!”
“Anyway, is it really okay for the principal to skip the entrance ceremony?”
“Isn’t she just a figurehead principal?”
<Everyone.>
Once again, the languid voice dragged out the end of the word as it addressed the freshmen.
“……”
“……”
The entire place became as quiet as a graveyard.
<Ugh, I shouldn’t have mixed drinks yesterday……>
After a quiet mutter, the sound of rummaging through a desk could be heard.
<The welcome speech the vice principal wrote should be somewhere around here……>
The freshmen looked bewildered by the principal’s attitude, which was the exact opposite of welcoming.
But Daisy remained calm.
In the first place, the principal, Seardrid Carsedin, had never been particularly interested in the students even in the original story.
After the entrance ceremony, she would appear every once in a while, just often enough for people to forget her name, and display behavior like this again.
“Wow, look over there!”
The freshmen, who had already lost focus and were looking around, turned their awestruck gazes upward.
Daisy followed their gazes and spotted the returning students seated high up in the stands.
Among the returning students, who seemed accustomed to the principal’s eccentricities and were chatting among themselves, there was one person who stood out particularly.
Dazzling platinum-blonde hair and piercing blue eyes.
A man with a face handsome enough to make someone gasp, yet wearing an utterly cold expression.
It was Daisy’s eldest brother, Kaylen.
If you were wondering how she knew it was Kaylen despite the fact that the original novel had no illustrations—
“Is that Kaylen Sableheart? The one with platinum-blonde hair?”
“Yeah! The Young Count of Sableheart!”
You could say that the people around her had told her……
“How can someone be that beautiful……?”
“Do you think I could talk to him……? Just once…….”
“Wouldn’t it be possible? I heard one of this year’s freshmen is Kaylen’s younger sister!”
“What? Really? Where?”
“……”
Daisy pulled the black hood she was still wearing over herself like a hermit crab.
Retired from being a messenger of love. Do not look for me……
She glanced around through the gap in her deeply pulled-down hood, but she couldn’t find another platinum-haired man who was undoubtedly her second brother.
‘He’s probably off somewhere fooling around. That delinquent.’
Tsk, tsk.
As Daisy clicked her tongue, a languid sigh with a drawn-out ending came from the communication orb.
<Ah, here it is.>
Rustle, rustle.
The principal flipped through the papers with leisurely movements before speaking in a relaxed voice.
<Hmm, useless content. This is useless too. Useless. Pathetic. Horrible.>
After mercilessly slaughtering the welcome speech the vice principal had presumably worked hard to write, the principal fell silent for a moment before speaking.
<Welcome speech. I hope you all study hard so you don’t grow up to become someone who writes a pathetic welcome speech like this. That’s all.>
“……”
“……”
Is the vice principal crying?
The sound of paper being crumpled came from beyond the communication orb, followed by the principal’s voice.
“Yes, Principal.”
Despite the answer sounding like “Yeees, Prrrincipal,” the principal continued without concern.
“Yes, understood.”
<And bring me something for a hangover,>
Click.
The communication was cut off.
The vice principal’s gaze remained on the communication orb for a moment after he ruthlessly pressed the button to end the call.
It was obvious what he was thinking.
Should I just smash it so she wakes up?
But soon, as though deciding that it was better not to wake her, the vice principal carefully set down the communication orb and said,
“……Then, we will now begin the dormitory assignments.”
The freshmen, who had been dazed for a moment, grew excited again.
“Wow, finally!”
“Are we taking a test? Or do we get to choose ourselves?”
“Ah, damn it, I kept pestering my brother to tell me how the dormitory assignments work, but he wouldn’t tell me a single thing! What a stingy bastard!”
“Your brother goes here too? Which dormitory is he in?”
“The Tower of the Tiger. He says he’s going to become an Imperial Knight. But I want to go to the Hall of the Raven! Magic looks cooler.”
“I want to go to the Garden of the Bee.”
“Huh? What’s so good about studying troublesome administrative stuff?”
“It’s safe! I absolutely hate getting hurt.”
“I don’t know about the others, but that guy is definitely going to the Altar of the Horse. He’s been praying this whole time.”
“Oh! Then me too! God, please, just don’t let there be a test!”
The dormitories of Eldvane Academy were divided according to a fairly simple structure.
Occupational groups.
The Tower of the Tiger, which produced knights.
The Hall of the Raven, which produced mages and alchemists.
The Garden of the Bee, which produced administrators.
And the Altar of the Horse, which produced priests and holy knights.
Of course, they weren’t strictly fixed.
After taking the basic courses, the students’ curriculums were determined according to their grades and abilities. Because of this, a mage would occasionally emerge from the Tower of the Tiger.
But such cases were rare, and generally, the tendencies and curriculums of the assigned dormitories matched.
“By the way, did you hear? About that Dunwich Forest incident……”
“Yeah! That lunatic was actually the Duchess……”
The freshmen moved on to another topic, but Daisy’s attention was caught by their conversation, reminding her of the original story.
The dormitory assignment…… So that really is going to happen.
Although it could practically be considered the centerpiece of the entrance ceremony, the dormitory assignment in <Is the Academy Really This Bleak?> had received an absolutely ridiculous amount of criticism.
Because……
“An ancient relic that is the great legacy of Sir Tigris, the founder of Eldvane Academy,”
The vice principal solemnly placed something wrapped in a black veil carefully on the stage.
“I present to you the sacred relic that will collect, interpret, and judge the essence suited to each dormitory from within your minds.”
Then he dramatically lifted the veil.
It was—
“A helmet?”
An old, worn brass-colored helmet that covered the entire head.
“Wow, I know that! It’s Sir Tigris’s magical helmet!”
“I’ve read about it in books too. They say that the moment you put it on, it’s a helmet that sees through everything!”
“What? How can a helmet do that?”
“Wow, I can’t believe I’m actually seeing something I only ever saw in history books……”
“Are we really supposed to wear that?”
As if responding to the freshmen’s expectations, the vice principal said,
“When your name is called, come up and put on this helmet. Then the helmet will tell you which dormitory you will stay in.”
“……”
That’s right.
It was because of this very system that anyone could immediately think of Xgwarts’ Sorting Hat.
└Is this an Xgwarts knockoff? LOL
└Wow, even so, copying it this closely is a bit much.
└And they changed it to a helmet LOL What difference does making it a helmet even make? LOL
└They’re gonna get sued.
In the original story, Daisy put on the enormous helmet, and her dormitory assignment was completed shortly afterward.
「〔The Hall of the Raven!〕」
Even that scene was so identical to the Sorting Hat that it received even more criticism……
“I will now begin calling the names.”
The vice principal called out loudly.
“Sedric Oskillt!”
A gasp could be heard nearby.
The pale-faced Sedric, that mosquito bastard, abruptly stood up and staggered toward the stage.
“Did you see him? He’s handsome!”
“He’s tall too……”
“His eyes are amber!”
“Do you think we could end up in the same dormitory?”
“I hope it’s the Garden of the Bee!”
“Hey, look at his shoulders. He’s definitely going to the Tower of the Tiger!”
The soft whispers of girls with flushed cheeks could be heard.
Oh dear.
Daisy clicked her tongue.
Apparently, teaching them how to judge people by their abilities rather than their appearance was more urgent than swordsmanship or magic.
“But where is he looking?”
“Gasp, isn’t he looking this way? Is it me?!”
Daisy raised her head at the freshmen’s fussing and immediately felt her mood sour.
Her eyes had met Sedric’s.
The pitiful look in his eyes as he stared at his lost straw was infuriating.
So she mouthed,
‘What―are you looking at?’
Sedric flinched and looked away before obediently putting on the helmet.
―.
―.
His expression couldn’t be seen inside the helmet.
But it was obvious what was happening in there.
The helmet would analyze the student’s characteristics, deliberate carefully, and then announce their dormitory.
Just like this.
〔The Tower of the Tiger!〕
A thunderous voice rang out from the helmet.
Clap, clap, clap!
With the sound of applause, Sedric took off the helmet, his face showing a mixture of relief and satisfaction.
‘Just like the original.’
Daisy thought with an indifferent expression.
‘That mosquito bastard is going to become an Imperial Knight. The world really is ending…….’
In the original story, Sedric graduated first in the Knight Department and was specially recruited into the Imperial Knights.
The only thing that had set him apart from the second-place student was his written assignment score.
And who had done those written assignments for him?
Me.
“……”
Ha.
Daisy closed her eyes for a moment as her blood pressure rose high enough to make her vision blur.
The vice principal’s voice echoed in her ears.
“Gale Bendermine!”
A boy with short, dark-blue hair and dark skin stood up from directly in front of the stage.
“Wow, what’s with that size?”
“He could beat an orc to death.”
He was a boy with a massive build that was difficult to believe belonged to someone his age.
With a serious and sturdy appearance, he quietly walked onto the stage.
Then, without making any fuss, he looked straight ahead and put on the helmet.
〔The Altar of the Horse!〕
It was the expected result.
After all, Gale Bendermine would eventually become an extremely rigid Holy Knight who had absolutely no flexibility.
「“It is the High Priest’s order. The sinner cannot leave this place.”
“Gale, please……”
“You cannot leave.”」
What a blockhead.
“……”
Daisy took off her hood and rubbed the stiff back of her neck.
If things continued like this, wouldn’t she die of a stress-induced illness before the dormitory assignments were even finished?
Just as she was having such a pointless thought—
“Look at that.”
A grating, snickering laugh came from behind her.
“That’s Daisy Sableheart.”
