Chapter: 02
Even if Mother had a unique magical ability, while she was confined to a remote palace, she had no chance to dare take any action.
Mother knew that returning malice was difficult.
“I-I think I failed, too…….”
I stammered just as I had when I was a child. No doubt the nurse would scold me for looking so lacking in intelligence that I did not seem like a princess of the kingdom.
“Jema…….”
Even at a time like this, was I thinking of Nurse Jema?
Once again, hot tears streamed down my cheeks.
“She must be crazy. Of course even the nurse is on Selena’s side.”
The days when the nurse had taken care of me were still so vivid. Then, all of a sudden, I realized one more thing.
After all, Jema must have also imagined a future where Selena married Antony. Then why had she treated me so well?
“She… she must have been trying to sell me out.”
The claim that Selena had met the duke for the first time must have been a lie, too. From now on, I would not be able to trust anyone.
I slowly curled myself up like a tiny insect.
“Why did you… give birth to me……? If you were just going to leave me here alone, why…….”
I shed tears drop by drop, along with the resentment that could reach no one.
And so, I spent the entire night awake until dawn. Anyone could see that I was a complete mess.
“Princess! Princess! Are you awake?”
I wiped away the tear stains clumsily and got up before opening the door. A servant sent by the king held something out to me.
“Princess. Please accept this.”
I took it without thinking. It was a letter from the man who was my father in name only.
I foolishly placed my last hope in it.
With trembling fingers, I opened the letter. There were only two sentences written inside.
As a princess of the royal family, do not lose your dignity.
The moment I read the first line, I could hardly breathe. Panting, I read the next sentence. It merely said that a tutor would be sent to me and that I should not neglect my education as a lady.
“Gasp, how could you…… How could you do this…….”
I slammed the door shut and cursed like a madwoman.
“Ha, are you trying to sell me off again?”
As I furiously tore the king’s letter to pieces, I wondered how he could possibly have come up with such a plan.
There was already a widespread rumor in the capital’s social circles that I was a woman who could not bear children.
In the past, no matter how hard I tried, I could not become pregnant. The attending physician of the ducal family often advised me that I needed to eat well so that my womb would be healthy enough to carry a baby.
Antony sometimes expressed his regret, while people from other families whispered that I was failing to fulfill my duty. So I ended up believing that it was because there was something wrong with me.
I had been busy using my abilities to the fullest and working like a spy. I thought it was fine to skip a meal or two. Antony and Selena were taking care of me, after all.
“Without even realizing that it was all deception…… Ah, I was such a fool.”
Antony used to tell me that I was attractive. Even though he had been planning to throw me away like a worn-out item and marry Selena……
The reason the king wanted to sell me off was obvious, too.
Even if I had lowly blood, I was still a princess by status. If he sold me as the second wife of an old aristocrat, I would fetch a fairly good price.
“Why… why did I ever have something like hope…….”
The people I had believed were my family had betrayed me. My heart, the days I had devoted everything to them, and even my hope that I would continue to have a place in this world—all of it had been shattered.
“I just… wanted to have a family.”
I kept dwelling on memories that already felt like they belonged to a distant past, and little by little, I withered away.
My appetite was even worse than before, and the food was terrible. I refused even the dry bread and watery soup and simply lay there in a state of lethargy.
The kingdom was enjoying peaceful prosperity after successfully concluding the battles along its borders. It was obvious that even an ordinary servant would never have eaten meals this poor.
“Why did you do that, Mother…….”
I would mutter those words pointlessly.
Even though I was in exactly the same situation as Mother.
My circumstances had not changed.
They would not have changed.
If it had not been for what the tutor sent by the king said to me.
“Princess. Please get up.”
The tutor entered my room without hesitation and spoke while standing perfectly straight.
“We will begin your bridal training.”
I stared at her with my dry, stiff eyes.
“Why do I have to learn something like that?”
Lying helplessly across the bed, I could not hide the defiance in my voice.
“Princess. Haven’t you heard about Viscount Saturn? It has been a long time since he lost his wife, but all of his children have settled down and established themselves. Fortunately, that is why there is now a place for you.”
Just a few days ago, my place had been as the wife of a duke. I impulsively asked,
“What did the Duke say?”
“Oh my. It was the Duke who recommended you for this. He has been in close contact with the Viscount for a long time. Didn’t you know that?”
At that moment, something began to boil inside me.
Atilenta, it should have been obvious just from seeing the two of them clinging closely together at the banquet they claimed was being held for my sake.
“The Viscount is a man of excellent character. You must become a suitable wife for him. Right now, you are far too thin, and your posture is hardly ladylike……”
Listening to the tutor recite those words made me feel as though I had just received a definitive sentence.
“Ha! You know what my situation is, and you can still say things like that?”
I could no longer suppress the resentment rising inside me.
“Princess. It is not proper etiquette to look at your teacher with such eyes.”
At the tutor’s gesture, a servant immediately grabbed both my wrists. Another servant promptly took out a cane.
“What are you doing? Let go—”
Smack!
Before I could even resist, I was struck once on the leg.
“Aah!”
“You must not make such vulgar sounds. It is unbecoming of a princess.”
The servant holding me down roughly struck the same spot again.
Smack!
It felt as though my calf had been split open.
“Ahh!”
My body bent sharply forward from the fierce pain. With my face pressed into the bedsheets, I felt like a defeated person.
“I told you to be quiet, Princess.”
I could not resist them in any way as they treated me like a criminal. I had bitten down so hard on my lips that I could taste blood.
Smack, smack!
The beating continued several more times.
I almost wished the sensation in my legs would disappear completely. Instead, the sharp, burning heat brought back to life by the blows tightened around me.
“You finally understand what I am saying.”
At the tutor’s cold words, the resentment in my eyes burned bright red.
Tears welled up, but I did not even have the strength to let them fall. Reality was cruel.
I was alone here.
“I hope you reflect on what happened today. You will fast for three days.”
The tutor who had supposedly come to give me bridal training left after doing nothing but beat me.
Creak.
The heavy door closed with a loud sound.
Tears fell onto the floor with soft drops. I clenched my teeth and roughly rubbed my eyes.
“My situation… hasn’t changed?”
That, too, had been a foolish illusion.
I finally realized that my situation had fallen lower than ever before.
I was livestock.
An animal they intended to hold and manipulate however they pleased.
“You’re… all insane…….”
A flame ignited inside me.
“I’m… not an animal.”
Why did I have to be the only one who was broken?
“If I…… could only do something.”
My anger toward Antony and Selena, who had dared to cling affectionately to each other right in front of me; my resentment toward the people who had betrayed my trust; and the fury that rose when I realized once again that they regarded me solely as a commodity—
All of it became tangled together, and in the end, I uttered these words.
“If I could… if only I could, I want to ruin you.”
You shattered me, too.
The words I spoke returned to my ears and awakened something fierce within my heart.
“I won’t just sit here and take it anymore.”
I crawled toward the head of the bed and took out a mirror.
It was a small, old, rusted mirror.
The only keepsake I had from Mother.
I vigorously wiped the mirror with my worn sleeve, just as though I were wiping away my tears.
Even though they had treated me like livestock all this time, there was one secret I had guarded absolutely without fail.
They believed that my ability was merely the power to see the future.
But fundamentally, my magic was something I had inherited from Mother.
This mirror was an object that showed me what I needed to do in order to reach the future I desired.
Mother had urged me to keep this a secret.
Just as I treasured her keepsake, I had guarded her final wish as strictly as a blade.
I let out a small sigh.
“Haah…… What would I have done if I didn’t even have this? Foolish Atilenta.”
