CH:34
“Die…? What do you mean by that?”
Kaon asked in utter shock. He had firmly believed that returning to Ingelos would be better for Alesia.
They were in the worst kind of relationship—watching each other constantly, each afraid the other would reveal their weaknesses. He had simply thought it would be far better if they lived separate lives.
“If I go back to Ingelos like this, how do you think my family will treat me? Do you think they’ll welcome someone who couldn’t even fulfill her role properly? And now, the one thing that should never have been revealed… has been.”
Alesia spoke of a future Kaon could never have imagined, her face unreadable.
“Well, as long as I don’t tell anyone…”
“As if I’d believe that.”
Alesia cut him off coldly, as if it were too ridiculous to even entertain. Kaon was so flustered he couldn’t respond, just opening and closing his mouth like a fish.
Going back meant death? He hadn’t even considered that possibility. Kaon never had any intention of exposing that Alesia wasn’t a real mage.
He had just thought that since Ferdinand and Ingelos had agreed to revisit the engagement when the two came of age, they could somehow cancel the marriage then.
It was Ingelos who had proposed the engagement instead of proceeding straight to a political marriage, so naturally, they must have considered the possibility of calling it off.
Didn’t Leonidas even say that if Ingelos’s circumstances improved, they might change their attitude, so they needed to act first?
“But even so, they’d kill you? When it wasn’t even your fault?”
“If Ferdinand declares they don’t want me, the blame will fall on me.”
“That’s insane!”
Kaon shouted in disbelief. It was Ingelos who had sent Alesia to Ferdinand in the first place, even though she wasn’t a real mage. She had only gone along with it after agreeing, but it was the family, not the individual, who violated the contract.
Besides, Alesia was a noble lady. She wasn’t a criminal to be executed, and she hadn’t masterminded anything alone—her life shouldn’t be treated so lightly. That sort of thing was unthinkable in Ferdinand.
‘There’s no way they’d treat a noble lady like that…’
…Right?
Kaon hesitated. Just as he was trying to reject the thought as ridiculous, a series of memories suddenly flashed through his mind.
The way she had marveled at common noble desserts as if seeing them for the first time. The way she had been deeply touched by a chef simply doing his job. The way her face lit up at the offer of extra pay…
Small memories branched out endlessly. Come to think of it, Alesia hadn’t even worn a proper gown at the royal banquet. She had even attended without a single servant in tow.
If she truly were a precious noble lady, would they have left her so neglected? He had overlooked it at the time because she carried herself so confidently—but in hindsight, everything seemed off.
‘No way…’
Kaon’s gaze wavered. Alesia was born into a prestigious mage family, but couldn’t use magic. The sense of betrayal had been so overwhelming that he hadn’t realized—it must have been seen as a serious defect.
What if she had come here against her will? What if she hadn’t been loved, but lived such a difficult life that even her own safety could be tossed aside?
The ominous thought took over his mind.
“Did something… bad happen to you in Ingelos?”
“Bad things? You mean like being thrown into a lake in the middle of winter? Or being hung from the castle walls to see if I could get down? Or maybe being blasted with fireballs so I could ‘feel magic’?”
Alesia answered calmly, listing her torments like someone speaking of another person’s life. It was horrifying in its coldness.
‘That’s abuse.’
There was no debate—it was cruel, plain and simple. Not even the lowest servant, newly entered into a noble household, would be treated that way.
Kaon’s face hardened. She was just a sixteen-year-old girl. What had she done to deserve such suffering? Rage burned inside him for those heartless mages.
At the same time, he understood her. If that’s what she’d gone through, it made sense that she wouldn’t want to go back. Even if this was enemy territory, it would still be better than the place she came from.
Without hesitation, Kaon spoke.
“Then don’t go back. Just stay away from that place and—”
“Pfft.”
But he couldn’t finish the sentence. A small laugh cut him off.
Alesia giggled to herself, then burst into laughter as if she couldn’t hold it in any longer. After a while, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. The moisture that remained sparkled in the light. She’d laughed so hard she cried, apparently.
“Kaon Ferdinand, you’re so gullible.”
“…What?”
“I can’t believe you fell for that. Good thing you’re not the head of your house. If you were a duke, you’d be conned out of all your land and wealth.”
Still stunned, Kaon stared at her. Alesia, dabbing at her eyes with a lingering grin, spoke teasingly, with not a hint of seriousness left in her face.
“Wait, what—you’re saying that was all a lie?”
“Of course it was. What kind of image do you have of Ingelos that you believed all of that?”
Alesia widened her eyes in mock surprise, as if amazed he had fallen for it.
“You—!”
Kaon shouted without realizing it and took a step forward. He was livid—so angry that he could barely control himself.
There were jokes, and then there were things you just didn’t joke about. How many thoughts had raced through his mind in that short moment? If she had even a shred of concern for him, she wouldn’t have lied like that.
“What kind of—”
He was about to explode again when he suddenly stopped. He noticed Alesia flinching and stepping back in fear. That’s when Kaon realized just how much bigger he was than her.
He took a deep breath and stepped far back, toward his room. Then he placed both hands behind his back and clasped them together—a silent gesture to show he meant no harm.
“What kind of lie was that? Is lying your habit or something?”
But still, he had to speak his mind. Kaon was still furious, and his voice came out sharp and heavy.
“…Right. So don’t fall for it next time.”
Alesia replied casually, as if he was the one at fault for believing her. The nonchalance of it all made him laugh in disbelief.
“Fine. Alesia Ingelos, if I ever trust you again, I’m not human. I’d rather raze my own castle.”
Grinding his teeth, Kaon declared his oath and drew the curtains shut. Damn mages, fake or real—none of them could be trusted.
Click. The curtain had barely closed when Alesia collapsed onto the floor as her legs gave out. As soon as she pressed her damp eyes with her hands, moisture welled up and spilled over.
‘That idiot should have come to his senses by now.’
Feeling her palms grow wet, Alesia thought bitterly. It was the first time he’d ever gotten that angry—he must have finally given up on her. Even a fool would have lost all affection by now.
That’s what she desperately hoped for. It was her last bit of conscience, her fragile pride. A pathetic desire not to keep using the only person who had ever genuinely cared for her.
After Kaon discovered her secret, Alesia made a new plan. She would stay in Ferdinand until she came of age, lay down roots, and then disappear—living quietly as if she had died.
She had nothing now, but if she saved for the next two years, it shouldn’t be too hard to live on her own.
‘I’ll dye my hair, keep my eyes covered…’
Anywhere but Ingelos would do. As she sketched out the plan in her mind, a voice came back to haunt her.
“Then don’t go back. Just stay away from that place and—”
She hadn’t expected that. She knew he’d be shaken, but to speak like that without even hesitating?
‘Stupid Kaon Ferdinand.’
He was far too soft for someone who had been tricked by a girl who lied about everything, even her identity. He was naturally naive. Gullible and… kind.
‘If only he weren’t so stupid.’
If he had been a little less foolish, she could’ve stayed close, used him, and lived more comfortably. She could have kept pretending to be good, pretending to be pitiful, basking in his kindness—and maybe, stayed in Ferdinand forever.
Because Kaon Ferdinand would have kept her secret.
But she couldn’t. No matter how rotten she was, she couldn’t bring herself to go that far. So Alesia decided to be as cruel as possible—to make it easy for herself to leave. So that that kind-hearted young lord would one day forget about a wretched girl from Ingelos.
