Chapter 78
A Complete Form of Love
At the simple question from the holy knight, I offered an easy analogy to explain.
“Is there anyone who can pull the teeth of a lion without waking it? That’s what this is like.”
After finishing my explanation, I straightened up from bending over to examine the glittering secretion.
Then, I tried to console Fleet and the other knights, who looked a bit disappointed.
“Collecting anything inside the rift without permission is illegal anyway. And profiting from what you gather is, of course, illegal too. So don’t be too upset about it.”
It was clear why Caroline had been caught.
Picking up things from inside the rift to sell was blatantly illegal.
Having explained that well, I led them to another area.
I did want to see more of this myself, as it was a bit fascinating, but if we didn’t hurry, the day would end before we knew it.
Several horses galloped across the ground.
A black stallion at the front had a black man riding it, holding the reins tightly.
Under the pale moonlight scattered across the fields, he continued riding swiftly across the wide plain.
Pouring oil on the mushrooms was harder work than I had expected.
Scoop the oil.
Pour the oil.
Move and repeat the same task.
Though simple in concept, doing this hundreds of times made my limbs ache more and more.
By this point, I felt a bit sorry for Fleet, so I cautiously apologized to him while he was helping pour the oil.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
“I’m sorry for bringing you into this hard labor. You probably expected a picnic-like, relaxed rift expedition…”
In the grand hall, I had likened the rift expedition to a picnic to persuade him.
In truth, no expedition was anywhere near a picnic, but if I hadn’t said that, Fleet wouldn’t have guided me into the rift.
Thanks to that, I could come along, and the rift itself was the type of place that only required caution, so it was fortunate—but I still felt guilty toward Fleet.
It felt like I had tricked him.
…Well, I technically had.
As I felt guilty, Fleet gave an unexpected reply.
“No need to apologize. I’m enjoying this more than ever.”
“…Enjoying it?”
Pouring oil over monsters everywhere and enjoying it?
I couldn’t understand his standard for “enjoyment.”
Or perhaps he was telling a well-intentioned lie for my sake?
I glanced at his expression to see his true feelings, and as if he had read my thoughts, he answered.
“I’m not lying. I really am enjoying this. It feels a bit like watering beautiful flowers.”
“….”
“Above all, because I’m doing it with Julia.”
“….”
The targets of our oil weren’t beautiful flowers—they were vicious, poisonous mushroom monsters.
Yet Fleet said he was enjoying it.
He was enjoying this grueling labor simply because he was with me.
“….”
For a moment, I didn’t know what to say.
It was always difficult to face someone who sincerely showed their feelings for me.
Even though he cared for me so deeply, I was only using him, and that thought made my chest ache.
Was it really okay like this?
Continuing to hide my true feelings would ultimately be cruelly toying with him.
After much deliberation, I made a decision.
I would reveal my own true feelings this time.
“Your Highness, you said you cared for me deeply. Were you really sincere?”
“As I have said repeatedly, I am sincere. More sincere than anyone else, I would think.”
“Then… if there were someone I already cared for, what would you do?”
He paused briefly while pouring oil.
But it was only momentary; soon he resumed as if nothing had happened.
“That’s fine.”
“Fine?”
He nodded at my surprised question.
“The feeling of caring for someone is… very difficult to have returned. There’s no guarantee that the one I care for will care for me in return.”
“….”
“That’s why a mutual love, where both want each other, is truly a blessed miracle.”
I silently nodded in agreement.
He was right.
I had also experienced loving Ernant for many years without having that love returned.
As I nodded, Fleet quietly continued.
“Of course, if Julia were to love someone other than me, I’d be sad—but I’d still congratulate her. That’s the way I choose to love.”
I realized again what a strong person he was.
Even if sometimes foolish or quirky, his inner self was steadfast and mature.
Giving your heart one-sidedly and not receiving it back often leads to twisted violence or obsession—but Fleet’s love was a complete form.
And that made my heart ache even more.
Because I had no choice but to reject him.
“Julia.”
“Yes, Your Highness?”
“Do you love Duke Martin von Habicht?”
I hesitated slightly but answered him honestly.
“…Since when did you feel this?”
“Since that night under the stars, when I noticed you worrying about him more than anyone else.”
Having already decided to reveal my true feelings, I answered candidly.
“Yes. As Your Highness says. I have feelings for the commander. It’s not loyalty or respect as a subordinate. It’s something deeper.”
“…I see.”
A trace of bitterness lingered in Fleet’s voice.
I stayed silent, waiting for his response.
I had revealed my feelings for someone else to the one who had confessed his love to me—perhaps his reaction wouldn’t be pleasant.
But Fleet was a mature person. He had always been so, and he was now.
“I want Julia to be happy.”
That was his answer.
Even realizing he could not have his feelings returned, he did not resent me.
He did not burden me with complaints about the pain caused by my rejection.
He simply wished for my happiness.
Overcome by emotion, I bit my lip and replied in kind.
“And I hope Your Highness is always happy as well.”
We smiled at each other.
Even if bitter, we didn’t shed tears.
I thought the day would pass safely.
Then a horrific accident occurred just when I was letting my guard down.
“Ahhh!!!”
A scream echoed from somewhere.
Fleet and I ran without hesitation toward the source.
And when we arrived, we witnessed a terrifying scene.
Rumble!
Awakened mushrooms were spraying poison at a holy knight.
The knight had already fallen, holding a white ore that looked freshly pulled from the ground.
Understanding immediately, I informed Fleet.
“They must have touched the ore! They’re waking up!”
I had warned them not to touch the ore connected to the mushrooms.
Apparently, one knight’s greed got the better of him.
Then he was beyond saving.
Exposed to the mushrooms’ poison at such close range, he would have died instantly.
There was no time to help the hopeless knight, so I shouted at Fleet.
“You need to escape! I’ll buy time—get out of here!”
“But Julia, you—”
“There’s no time! Hurry!”
Another holy knight, alerted by the commotion, ran toward us.
I lifted Fleet onto him.
“Get His Highness out of the rift quickly!”
“Yes!”
The knight carrying Fleet ran toward the rift exit.
From behind, I heard Fleet calling out desperately.
“Julia! No! Julia!!”
I did not turn back deliberately.
Focusing only on the awakened monsters, I channeled my powers.
There was no time to strike each one individually.
I raised my powers to the maximum, freezing the nearby mushrooms over a wide area.
Rumble—!
Freezing them slowed the poison temporarily.
Meanwhile, Fleet seemed to have already escaped the rift.
Relieved, I continued spreading the cold, further slowing the mushrooms.
If this continued, I could escape safely too.
…Then, suddenly, my vision blurred.
“…!”
My sight clouded.
Dizziness surged, and strength left my body.
I knew what this was.
Poison.
Symptoms of inhaling the mushrooms’ deadly toxin.
