ELND Chapter 47

Chapter 47

I’m Not the Same Rebecca as Back Then

“What is Lillian’s Heart, exactly?”

Not a flicker wavered in Rebecca’s eyes.

“Could you… tell me as well?”

Cedric, on the other hand, felt quietly shaken.

Rebecca herself is mentioning Lillian’s Heart?

Throughout their marriage, Cedric had believed she was simply pretending not to know about it.

And after the divorce, when Rebecca’s attitude seemed to change, he thought it was because she had finally given up on obtaining it.

Otherwise, no matter how much her affection cooled… she would never have let go so easily of the man she once obsessed over to madness.

But now, Rebecca was acting as if she truly had no idea what that object even was.

And then—

Her next words were enough to stun him again.

“Duke Bold threatened me more than once. He insisted I get that thing from you.”

“…!”

Huge ripples spread through Cedric’s blue eyes.

Rebecca—who had once sought to control him through the power of the brand.

And Duke Bold—who tried to use his daughter to seize Lillian’s Heart.

That was precisely why Cedric had resented and distanced himself from Rebecca all throughout their marriage.

And now she was calmly admitting it.

Rebecca quietly looked at Cedric’s frozen, shocked expression and then let out a faint laugh.

“My relationship with my father is nothing like what you imagine. In fact, it’s very poor.”

“…”

“No—truthfully, I can hardly call him a father. To him, I’ve never been anything more than a tool to satisfy his greed.”

“That means…”

Could it be… all of it, every action of hers, had been forced upon her by her father’s pressure?

The thought made the woman before him look different again.

He had always believed she’d joined forces with her father, desperate to use him.

That was why he’d resented and hated her for so long.

But if, in truth, Rebecca had been rejected both by her father and her husband, left to endure alone all those years…

A dull ache began to spread through his chest.

While his wife suffered such cruel treatment from her father, what had he been doing?

He had only cast her out, again and again.

He had slammed shut the invisible door of his heart, as though punishing her, driving her away, and mercilessly ignoring her.

How must it have felt, to be left outside that door, always alone?

“…”

At last, putting himself in her place, he couldn’t bring himself to say more.

A life where no one wanted you, with no place to lean your heart.

Like someone forced to drink seawater, knowing it would eventually kill them, yet unable to stop, desperate for any relief.

The thought of what she must have felt cut through Cedric’s heart like a belated blade.

How had that small woman endured such long, merciless solitude?

If he parted his lips even slightly, he felt an unmanly, broken noise would escape.

He cleared his tightening throat and thought:

All the actions he’d written off as obsession and malice…

Perhaps they had really been—

A desperate cry for him to see her, truly see her.

Rebecca, who had waited endlessly for an answer that never came, had eventually grown warped and broken.

…If only, back then, I had reached out my hand to her just once.

Back then, he had never once looked back at her.

Now that neglect gnawed at his bones with remorse.

And so it became even harder to break the silence.

Even the idea of speaking to her casually felt like a crime.

The silence between them lingered for some time.

At last, Rebecca’s voice cut through it.

“As I thought, you can’t tell me.”

At that calm tone, Cedric slowly raised his head to look at her again.

He barely managed to open his mouth.

“That’s not it.”

“…”

“…I only just realized—how I’ve never once truly seen you.”

Rebecca looked at him quietly, then spoke again.

“But even now, you still don’t truly see me.”

Her tone, though gentle, felt almost merciless in its clarity.

“Perhaps the thought of winning back my heart came to you only as…”

Rebecca smiled faintly.

“…a passing breeze.”

“Rebecca, that’s not—”

“Oh, I see. You’re just feeling a bit empty, a bit regretful. Like—‘Why does the woman who once clung to me as if she couldn’t live without me suddenly let go?’”

“…”

“Nothing more than that. Just a fleeting shake.”

Rebecca cut him off, speaking as though she had to, just to endure this moment.

Cedric resented her denial of his heart.

But he also knew—even feeling the slightest grievance toward her was shameless of him.

If his sincerity was being rejected now, it was only the punishment he deserved—

—for never once answering her heart before.

“We didn’t last until the end, but… thank you for inviting me today.”

“Rebecca…”

“I’ll be going now.”

With that, Rebecca rose.

Cedric stood as well, but when she firmly shook her head and turned away, he could not bring himself to stop her.

She walked to the door.

“…The truth is.”

Her red shoes paused just before the threshold.

“That ‘heart’ you wish to win back—it isn’t here anymore.”

“…”

“So even if I wanted to return it, I can’t.”

With her head slightly bowed, Cedric thought he heard a self-mocking murmur slip from behind her shoulder.

“Because now… I’m not the same Rebecca as back then.”

At the same time, in Lady Twins’ parlor—

After dinner, Bianca was curled on a sofa, pretending to read.

Strictly speaking, her eyes were fixed on the book, but not a single page had been turned. She kept lying down, then sitting up, restless.

Her nursemaid chuckled softly at the sight.

“My lady, you can’t concentrate at all, can you?”

“Eh? Oh, hehe…”

Closing the book with an embarrassed smile, Bianca’s round eyes sparkled toward her nursemaid.

“Nanny, what do you think Grand Duke and Lady are talking about right now?”

Her cheeks flushed deeply as she asked.

The nursemaid twitched her nose affectionately.

“You asked me that a few minutes ago. And a few minutes before that. And again before that.”

“Ah! Right, I did…”

“My lady really does adore Lady, don’t you?”

“…Yes. Very, very much.”

Bianca giggled shyly with her eyes.

Just then, a maid rushed in.

“My lady! It seems Lady has already returned to the House of Darkness!”

“Already?”

Bianca tilted her head.

But nanny said the happier they are together, the longer Lady would stay here. Did they quarrel again…?

Pouting, she shook her head fiercely.

“Nanny, I must go to the Grand Duke at once!”

It was too early to despair.

Bianca ran straight to the Grand Duke’s palace.

When she entered, Cedric welcomed her as always.

But she immediately noticed his face was darker than usual.

“Your Grace… did you quarrel with Lady again?”

At her worried tone, Cedric shook his head.

“…No, not exactly.”

She sighed in relief.

“Then why…?”

To her cautious question, Cedric only released a heavy sigh.

Seeing him, Bianca’s unease returned.

“Don’t tell me… Lady doesn’t want to come back here anymore?”

“…”

Cedric’s silence stretched.

Though still young, Bianca could tell silence meant yes.

Her shoulders slumped as she left the palace with her nanny.

Dragging her steps all the way back to her room, she finally looked up at the nursemaid with tear-filled eyes.

“Nanny… is there really no way to make them get along?”

“My lady…”

“The only family I have… is His Grace and Lady…”

Big teardrops rolled down her cheeks.

The nursemaid quickly gathered her into her arms, soothing her.

“My poor little lady… nanny knows. I know how heavy your heart is.”

She stroked Bianca’s soft little back and pale downy forehead with practiced ease.

But this time, the girl’s tears would not stop.

After some time, a thought came to the nursemaid. She spoke slowly:

“My lady… I might have an idea.”

“…Really?”

Bianca wiped her reddened eyes on her sleeve and looked up hopefully.

Her wide, curious gaze shone, as if she had never cried at all.

Smiling faintly at her, the nursemaid continued.

“In fact, I heard something recently at the House of Darkness. It goes like this…”

…

Meanwhile, Cedric let out a long sigh, remembering Bianca’s drooping shoulders as she left.

That small child’s forlorn back.

Twice in one day, he had been forced to watch someone he cherished walk away. His heart was heavy.

‘That heart you wish to win back isn’t here anymore. Because I’m not the same Rebecca as back then.’

Her final words echoed painfully.

Of course, he already knew Rebecca no longer loved him.

But hearing it from her own lips was far more painful than he had imagined.

This hellish feeling… Rebecca must have endured it thousands, tens of thousands of times because of me.

That thought made his torment feel deserved.

At that moment, a voice from the past echoed in his head—Manakin’s blunt words.

“Idiot, then go after her, even now.”

Cedric gave a bitter laugh.

Back then, I swore again and again to approach Rebecca and soothe her wounded heart—yet here I am, reeling after a single rejection.

And it wasn’t as if he hadn’t expected her refusal.

Though today he couldn’t, someday he would approach her—until his true feelings finally reached her.

A vow, a resolution.

With that faint determination, he glanced, as always, toward the House of Darkness.

But later, Cedric would bitterly regret postponing it for “someday.”

That regret came the morning he awoke to find—

Rebecca had secretly left his castle.