Chapter 50
 Berta
February 19, 2024
At that point, I stopped whispering and sat up straight.
If we kept whispering any longer, someone was bound to start suspecting us.
So I sat there, pretending nothing was amissâwhen suddenly, my eyes met Bertaâs.
For some reason, she was staring right at me.
What is this? Sheâs been⌠since earlierâŚ
I stared back at her, wondering. Not only had she asked strange questions earlier, but sheâd also been oddly focused on me the entire time.
Iâd already decided I would ask the Captain about her later, but just then, the food arrived.
From perfectly roasted turkey to steaming hot stewâŚ
The table was quickly filled with mouthwatering dishes, and I eagerly reached for my utensils.
That was when the Captain tore off a turkey leg and placed it into my dish.
âYouâll be on the front line against monsters. Eat plenty and keep your strength up.â
He must have thought that giving me food under that excuse would look natural. But it didnât. Not at all.
Sharing meat with everyone is one thingâbut cutting off a piece just to give it to one person?
Thatâs something lovers would do.
Sure enough, the sharper ones among us had already sensed something strange.
Karl, the most perceptive of them, came right out with it.
âCaptain? Isnât it just me, or are you treating the Vice-Captain a bit more⌠special today?â
âSpecial? Nonsense. Sheâs the one who fights at the very front for us, so of course she needs to eat more. You, on the other hand, just stand in the back using your abilitiesâyou donât exactly need extra rations, do you?â
âUgh⌠that hurts my feelings, you know. Do you realize how hard it is, watching everything from the back and using my powers at just the right moment?â
Karl drooped his shoulders in mock dejection, but the Captain ignored him and pressed me instead.
âGo on, eat. Youâre far too thin. What if you collapse out there?â
ââŚâŚâ
Feeling unbearably self-conscious, I awkwardly bit into the turkey.
Well⌠at least he hadnât gone so far as to feed me directly.
But stillâBertaâs gaze wouldnât leave me.
That sharp, penetrating stare was fixed on me, unblinking.
Was she simply curious, because it was unusual to see the Captain looking after someone? Or was it something else�
âYou look good, eating with such appetite.â
The Captainâs voice cut off my thoughts.
Good? Watching me eat?
I tore my gaze away from Berta and focused on the food before me.
After the meal, the members retired early to rest for the next day.
Facing monsters required conserving every bit of strengthâwe couldnât afford to stay up chatting through the night.
Only the Captain and I slipped away to the secluded back garden for a secret meeting once everyone else had fallen asleep.
We hadnât had a chance to properly speak all day, so we made time for ourselves like this.
Once we were alone, I asked him the question that had been on my mind.
âWhat exactly is your relationship with Berta? She seems to pay an awful lot of attention to you.â
ââŚâŚâ
âSheâs not just some hired help, is she?â
The Captain, who had seemed so relaxed until then, averted his gaze the moment I asked.
Suspicion tightened inside meâand then he made an even more suspicious remark.
âCan you promise me you wonât get angry, no matter what I say?â
My heart plummeted at that.
I forced myself to keep my expression calm and asked,
ââŚWould I have a reason to get angry?â
âNo. Youâre not the petty type. But just in case, Iâd like your promise.â
ââŚâŚâ
He wouldnât speak unless I promised.
So I put on my most innocent smile and replied,
âI promise I wonât get angry.â
âGood. Then Iâll tell you the truth. Berta⌠was once my fiancĂŠe.â
ââŚâŚâ
âWe were engaged once, but the betrothal was broken. Thatâs all.â
ââŚI did say I wouldnât get angry. But I never promised I wouldnât sulk. I will be sulking.â
âHuh?â
I turned sharply on my heel, leaving him startled behind me, and marched away in exaggerated, heavy steps to show him just how sulky I was.
I had barely taken three strides before he recovered and hurriedly blocked my path.
âWait, Yuliaâlisten to the rest. If you hear me out, youâll see thereâs truly nothing between us.â
Nothing? Between âex-fiancĂŠsâ? Hardly.
Still, I wanted to hear how he would explain it.
With a hint of tension on his faceâso unlike himâhe began.
âBerta is the eldest daughter of Count Ostberk. Their family has ruled this northern region for generations.â
ââŚâŚâ
âWhen I was young and newly made Duke of Habicht, I needed ties with the local power, the Ostberk family. So I agreed to a political engagement.â
âSo it was an arranged marriage.â
He nodded without hesitation.
âYes. I thought little of it back then. Marriage was just a tool for politics to me. But for Berta, it wasnât. She truly wanted me.â
ââŚâŚâ
âEvery time I left to fight in the rifts, she sent me lettersâmany of them. She seemed to wait for me with such desperate longing. And that made me feel guilty. Because while my feelings for her were shallow, hers for me⌠were unbearably heavy.â
I found myself nodding, understanding.
âAnd so, you broke it off.â
âShe wanted love. If I couldnât love her, letting her go was the only proper thing to do.â
âBut⌠it seems she still has feelings for you.â
âYes. Thatâs the problem.â
He rubbed at his brow, troubled.
âI asked to break the engagement, and her family agreed. But Berta said she wanted to stay here anyway. She asked to manage the castle while I was away in the rifts.â
âAnd you allowed it?â
ââŚI still felt guilty toward her. If she wanted to stay so badly, I couldnât bring myself to send her away. And besides, she came from a family that had governed this land for centuriesâI knew sheâd manage things well.â
I fell silent, lost in thought.
It was all understandable.
His agreeing to the betrothal.
His breaking it off.
Even his decision to let her remain in his castle.
All reasonable choices.
And yet⌠some petty, childish feeling bubbled up inside me.
Jealousy.
I bit down on my tongue to keep it hidden. If I spoke now, bitter words might spill out.
But then he suddenly gripped my shoulders and, looking straight into my eyes, made a shocking declaration.
âFine. Iâll send Berta away tomorrow.â
âWhat? Tomorrow? But then who will manage the castleââ
âDonât worry about that. Some confusion may follow, but it was my responsibility to handle in the first place.â
How could I not worry?
Whether I liked her or not, Berta was undeniably useful to him.
And he was willing to cast her aside over a flicker of my jealousy?
I opened my mouth to protest, but he pressed a finger gently against my lips, silencing me.
âI can entrust the management temporarily to a capable retainer I brought from the Imperial Palace.â
ââŚâŚâ
âAnd once weâve closed every rift and restored peace⌠thenâŚâ
He hesitated, lips parting, then shook his head.
âNo, itâs too soon to talk about that. Forget it.â
âTell me. After âonce peace is restoredââwhat were you going to say?â
âForget it, really. It was nothing.â
But I already knew. I could guess well enough.
When all the rifts were closed, when peace returnedâ
we would marry.
We would live as an ordinary couple.
We would have an ordinary, blissful newlywed life.
That must have been what he wanted to say.
ââŚâŚâ
Well, perhaps it was too soon to think of such things.
But it wasnât a bad dream.
When youâre risking your life fighting monsters every day, you need at least one small dream to hold onto.
So I decided to keep it tooâ
that same modest, shining little dream he carried in his heart.
âI hope a peaceful world comes soon.â
Praying for the day when we could live that happy newlywed life in a land free of rifts, we pressed our lips together.
It was a long, lingering kissâdrawn out by how desperately we both longed for that future.