TFPAW 02

Chapter 2.

 A Gacha Is Called a Gacha Because It’s Destined to Fail

There was something the Fairy Lady had told me once.

Gods, as a rule, were boring, dull, rigid beings.

Apparently, they were generally inflexible and would ostracize her for being undignified or vulgar whenever she appeared before them.

So what were the gods of this world like?

It was possible that their personalities were different because this was another world, but somehow, I doubted they were all that different.

Then, would the god of this world like the Fairy Lady if she suddenly barged into its domain?

‘Of course not.’

And if she tried to somehow establish a connection with this world despite that?

She might not merely be disliked. She could actually be rejected.

But apparently, there was no god here!

If the god really was absent, then this was an opportunity.

An opportunity to somehow squeeze our way into the position of that ‘god’ while it was gone!

Right. If we had no roots in this world, then we just had to cling on somehow and force ourselves into the equation.

For example, we could take the same name as the god who was currently absent!

‘It probably won’t be that easy, but they said the god of this world disappeared, right? Since the Fairy Lady is also a deity, if they have the same name, maybe the world itself could get confused?!’

—Do you really think that’s going to work?

‘Even if that doesn’t work, giving her a name that fits this world might actually be surprisingly effective!’

I kept listing reason after reason why the Fairy Lady should change her name.

—Hmm…? You think so?

Eventually, I succeeded in convincing her.

She still seemed doubtful, but we decided to push ahead anyway.

—But what if Elysian didn’t actually disappear?

‘Can’t you tell whether the god is here or not?’

—It’s hard to see clearly because this Elysian fellow has such an enormous divine rank…. But I can at least sense traces of a god.

‘Let’s do it.’

Even though her divine power had fallen so much, if our Fairy Lady was saying this much, then there was no god here.

So let’s give it a shot!

—Really? Really?

‘Yes, yes, yes, yes. Absolutely. Let’s go! Even if we get nothing, we have to go for it!’

Whether we disappeared after incurring the god’s wrath or slowly withered away and disappeared…

The difference was merely a matter of speed.

If that was the case, we might as well try something.

And if the god really had disappeared, then our Fairy Lady could even act as a temporary replacement.

Wouldn’t that be beneficial for both sides?

After finishing my self-justification, I urged the Fairy Lady on.

—But how are we supposed to change my name?

Oh.

Now that she mentioned it, I hadn’t thought that far.

‘Hmm. Can’t you just say something like, “From this day forth, I shall use the name Elysian”?’

—If it were that easy, wouldn’t every random evil spirit on Earth have renamed themselves after some great god?

Even as she pointed out the flaw in my plan, the Fairy Lady played along with me.

—Henceforth, I, Fairy Lady Danmok, shall use the name ‘Elysian’!

Gulp.

The Fairy Lady and I stared blankly at each other.

One second.

Two seconds.

Three…

Ten seconds.

…Astonishingly, nothing had changed.

—It doesn’t work!

‘Tsk.’

—Tsssk???

The Fairy Lady’s cheeks turned bright red, and puffs of steam practically shot from her nose.

—Good grief! This is ridiculous!

Hearing voices behind me, I awkwardly turned my head.

The servants had finished cleaning and were leaving the room.

‘I really thought it would work.’

At this point, shouldn’t it have worked under the usual reincarnation protagonist rules?

‘Fairy Lady, should we try changing your name another way… Huh?’

Just as we were slowly giving up—

—Eek?

A faint halo of light began leaking from the Fairy Lady.

Could it… could it actually work?

The Fairy Lady’s previously blurry body gradually began to grow clearer.

It worked…!

If she had been in blurry 480p before, she was now crystal-clear 4K.

—…Why did that work?

‘It worked!!’

Yes!

I had no idea why there had been a slight delay, but what mattered was that it had worked!

At least I no longer had to worry about the Fairy Lady disappearing.

—My divine power started flowing in just because I changed my name. Does that even make sense?!

‘But it worked, right?’

—All I gained was enough divine power to avoid disappearing. We only have the same name. Fundamentally, we aren’t the same existence.

‘Either way, you got stronger, didn’t you?’

—Oh, come on!

I was teasing her, but what the Fairy Lady said was true.

Gods fundamentally gained power through faith.

Especially major gods with large religions. They received an enormous amount of power from the faith of their followers.

Even if our Fairy Lady had changed her name to ‘Elysian,’ the fundamental nature of her existence was different, so it would be difficult for the faith of Elysian’s followers to directly become her power.

But!

‘I’ll make you the god of this world, Fairy Lady!’

I knew the Fairy Lady’s abilities.

I knew how to make use of her power and how to earn people’s trust.

And our Fairy Lady was the kind of generous god who would return twice as much as she received from those who believed in her!

‘Long live the Fairy Lady!’

A goal had been established.

Its name was:

‘Operation: Become the Perfect Elysian!’

For some reason, this world was currently without a god.

According to the Fairy Lady, when a powerful god suddenly disappeared, all sorts of problems were likely to arise.

—That’s because every god has different abilities.

Just as humans had their specialties, gods had their own areas of expertise.

And the greater a god’s stature, the more people relied on those specialties.

Now, imagine that god suddenly disappeared.

Of course there would be chaos.

But what if the Fairy Lady gradually increased her influence and helped quell the chaos in this world?

Then even if Elysian returned, there would be a greater chance that they wouldn’t drive the Fairy Lady away!

If she could completely absorb at least part of Elysian’s share of influence, then even if the real Elysian returned, the Fairy Lady might be able to blend completely into this world.

And besides.

My very own little god being worshipped by countless people?

How could I not love that?

It wouldn’t be a bad deal for the people of this world, either.

Because the Fairy Lady was literally light and a god.

Worship the Fairy Lady, and there shall be light in your life.

Believe in the Fairy Lady, and money and jewels shall follow.

How wonderful was that?

‘Hehehe.’

—You’re acting weird.

Even though we had established our goal, there was nothing I could immediately do about it.

Because—

“Ababa!”

“You’re energetic today as well, Young Master.”

I was still a helpless newborn who couldn’t even crawl…!

Whew.

When am I going to grow up?

My personal nanny, Sonya, took incredibly devoted care of me in place of my parents.

My mother and my father, the cardinal, seemed extremely busy these days. They were so occupied that they barely had time to come see me.

The reason was probably—

“They say Young Master’s Naming Ceremony will be held in a week. I’m so excited to find out what name you’ll receive.”

—the Naming Ceremony.

I eagerly sucked on the bottle Sonya held to my mouth.

If I wanted to grow quickly, I needed to eat plenty.

At first, formula had tasted rather bland and strange, but once I got used to it, I found it surprisingly delicious.

In any case, since I couldn’t move around myself, the Fairy Lady wandered throughout the house and gathered information for me.

She couldn’t travel farther than a certain distance from me, but even so, she had managed to collect quite a bit of useful information.

And that was how I learned something important.

This wasn’t simply a medieval European-style world.

It was an actual medieval fantasy world!

‘Fantasy! I’m actually in a fantasy world…!’

—Woo-tak, you’ve been living a fairly fantastical life all this time, you know?

‘Fairy—no, Eli! Modern fantasy and medieval fantasy are completely different genres!’

Since there wasn’t much I could do right now, I started with something small.

I began calling the Fairy Lady Eli.

The power of spoken words was not something to underestimate.

Eli still looked rather unimpressed whenever I called her that.

The place where I had been born, this nation, was a massive theocratic state called the Holy Empire of Elion.

And this world had everything!

There were Saints, battle priests, mages, and even elves!

‘A hybrid priest who uses both magic and shamanism…! Damn!’

—Just hurry up and grow.

‘Inhale… exhale… Ahhh. So this is the air of a medieval fantasy world!’

—Good grief.

And so, as my expectations for this fantasy world continued to swell, the days passed.

Finally, the day of the Naming Ceremony arrived.

The Naming Ceremony.

As could be inferred from the name, it was an event for giving someone a name.

It was a ritual in which Elysian bestowed a blessed name upon one of His creations.

I had wondered why I still didn’t have a name even after three months had passed since my birth, but after seeing the scale of the ceremony, I realized this was apparently a fairly important ritual.

‘Wow. This is the first time I’ve ever seen so many people come just to watch someone receive a name.’

—You’re only three months old. Of course it’s your first time seeing it.

‘No, that’s not what I mean. I don’t think I’ve ever been celebrated this much before.’

—Yeah. I’m glad this world is kind to you, Woo-tak.

An enormous number of people had gathered for the sake of just one person.

Me.

The huge prayer hall was filled with people who had come to bless me.

My heart began to flutter.

In all the more than twenty-seven years I had lived, the only person who had ever sincerely blessed me had been Eli.

I had never experienced this kind of welcome from my family before, either.

Honestly, I was happy.

As I looked around from my mother’s arms, I saw an enormous statue standing in the center of the prayer hall.

That must be Elysian, right?

And in front of the statue was a blazing white flame.

It looked incredibly sacred.

“Baby, this is Elysian’s Holy Flame. It will choose your name today.”

A flame choosing my name?

That was pretty novel.

My mother slowly approached the flame while holding me.

Wait.

Wait just a second.

Mother?

You’re getting awfully close!

‘Aaaah! …Huh? It’s not hot?’

The white Holy Flame wasn’t hot at all, even when we approached it.

Was this the fantasy world’s version of fire?

Seeing my eyes widen in wonder, my mother smiled gently and laid me down in the cradle placed in front of the flame.

At that moment—

A string of drool dripped from Eli’s mouth.

‘Ugh! Gross!!’

—Slurp. Can I eat that?

‘W-What?!’

—That.

The fire.

Why would you eat fire?!

—That’s a mass of divine power. It’s incredible.

‘Huh? Really? Oh, wow. It really is.’

It was strange that I hadn’t noticed it until now.

The divine power contained within the Holy Flame was radiating an overwhelming presence.

So this was Elysian’s Holy Flame.

‘Can’t we sneak some after the Naming Ceremony?’

—Ahem. I’ll try to hold myself back.

Perhaps the Naming Ceremony was about to officially begin, because three slips of paper were placed between me and the Holy Flame.

‘Are these the candidates for my name?’

Oh.

I couldn’t read a single one.

Why could I understand spoken language but not written language?

Eli and I stared blankly at the papers covered in strange, squiggly writing.

‘Want to bet on which name gets chosen?’

—Huh? You can’t even read the writing.

‘We can choose based on which one looks nicest.’

—Really? Then I’ll pick the one on the left.

‘Ugh. Our tastes really don’t match. I’m picking the one on the right.’

After making our ridiculous little bet, my father, the cardinal, began reciting a prayer.

“Elysian. Source of radiant light, glory that forever changes. Today, Your light embraces a new life…”

‘Radiant light? Glory that changes? Could those be attributes belonging to Elysian?’

—Probably. Seems like He’s the God of Light.

“Elysian, in the beginning, divided His body in two to watch over us…”

I focused on the unfamiliar prayer for a while.

But before long, we began nodding off from the endless, boring prayer.

“…May the ever-changing eternal light of Your blessing shine upon this world You created…”

“…This world You have tuned is never the same even for a single moment…”

“…May the child’s first breath accompany Your breath, and may the child’s first name be beneath Your name…”

‘Father, could you give us the three-line summary?’

It was long.

Really, really long.

Eli had already rolled her eyes back and fallen asleep.

This was an important ceremony that would determine my name, so I tried my hardest to stay awake.

But a newborn baby’s eyelids were much heavier than I had expected.

I must have been dozing for about twenty minutes when—

A familiar voice, filled with profanity, suddenly shattered my sleepiness.

“How dare you come here!! You damn heretics!”

Huh?

What?

Mother?

I was genuinely shocked.

My kind and benevolent mother had transformed into a demon straight out of hell.

Heretics?

Was she talking about me and Eli?!

I hurriedly looked upward.

Eli was there, looking dazed as she dozed off.

And my mother wasn’t looking this way, either.

Then what was going on?

I naturally shifted my gaze.

There were several people wrapped entirely in black cloth.

At some point, the stained-glass windows had been shattered, and fragments were scattered across the floor.

And the flame that had remained completely still until now began to move.

Slowly.

Creeping toward me.

“B-buaa!”

‘This thing keeps coming toward me!’

Mother! Look over here!!

It wasn’t hot, but it was still a little scary!

I frantically flailed my arms and legs, trying to call for my mother.

But—

“The Inquisitor once known as the Bloody Executioner has certainly become quite tame.”

…What?

Mother was the Bloody Executioner?

An Inquisitor…?

Now that I looked closely, what my mother was holding was a morning star, its head bristling with vicious spikes!

“Shut up! Filthy heretic!”

My pupils trembled violently.

Ah…

Mother, you don’t have to come over here.

This reincarnation was screwed.

I reviewed everything in my head.

I had absolutely ruined the family gacha.