IALFMFL CH 10

“Oh, I remember now. You’re the young lady of the Ezelot family whom Charon invited.”

That was exactly it! I wanted to clap my hands and shout in relief, but every time I opened my mouth, my words came out stumbling and trembling.

“Y-Yes, that’s right.”

Thanks to that, my voice practically flew off into the distance like I was some hopelessly awkward child.

Damn it. Feeling both embarrassed and utterly mortified, I lowered my head.

“I believe I was being rather rude. Then I suppose you were also in the Imperial Palace because of Sir Lockhard.”

Panshion continued to address me respectfully, despite looking considerably older than me.

Good heavens. Did such an upright man actually exist?

The only men around me were always self-centered, eager to tease me, and childish.

I calmly took a breath before opening my mouth again.

“Yes. I was curious about how my brother Lockhard trained, so I went to see him. I had been thinking about it for several days before deciding to go, but unfortunately, it happened to be a day when the training schedule was kept private.”

Panshion gave a small smile. Anyone could tell it was merely a formal one.

“He is an exceptionally talented knight, even among the countless knights of the Empire. So you may take pride in Sir Lockhard. If you have the time, you should hold Sir Lockhard’s hand at least once. You’ll immediately understand just how hard he has been working.”

Take pride in Lockhard?

The heavens might collapse, but there was absolutely no chance I would ever take pride in Lockhard.

The same went for Rick and Eden.

Well… perhaps Eden was an exception.

Unable to simply agree that I would hold his hand, I desperately racked my brain for an appropriate response.

Something that would keep the conversation from ending awkwardly—something rational, yet befitting a lady.

“I see. Unfortunately, Sir Lockhard isn’t here. ……If you don’t mind, could I hold your hand instead?”

Panshion’s expression shifted ever so slightly, as though a crack had appeared in a glass window.

He stared at me with a blank expression, as if he had heard something unbelievable, then cleared his throat softly.

“My hand is covered in scars and calluses. I’m afraid it may be unpleasant to look at.”

There was something slightly uncomfortable about the way Panshion said it.

Had I failed to get my point across again?

Still, he seemed quite proud of the countless traces of training etched into a knight’s hands. His suggestion that I hold Lockhard’s hand didn’t seem like something he had simply said because he had nothing else to talk about.

I only wanted to see the source of that pride for myself, but they say that if you’re foolish, you should at least watch your mouth…

“Was I being too forward? If it makes you uncomfortable, please refuse. You don’t have to agree just because I asked.”

Apparently, I had made another mistake.

Strange. Lockhard seemed to be quite good at carrying conversations like this.

Panshion stared quietly into my eyes before finally speaking.

“……No. There is no reason for me to be uncomfortable.”

He took three steps forward, narrowing the distance between us to barely a single step.

Looking up at Panshion from such a close distance, I realized that he was even taller than Nazar.

It made the reality of me being a short fifteen-year-old all the more painfully obvious.

Was this what a ten-year age gap looked like?

Standing awkwardly in front of me, he quietly held out his right hand.

The palm of a knight who trained with a sword was far more battered than I had expected.

Just as Panshion had said, it was covered in small scratches and calluses. Even the joint beneath his thumb was twisted as though it had once suffered a tremendous impact.

“Does it hurt here?”

I pointed to the joint of his thumb with my finger.

At my question, he moved his hand slightly as if it were nothing.

“It doesn’t hurt. The injury is more than seven years old. I don’t feel anything from it anymore.”

“Doesn’t it bother you?”

“If it did, I would have given up being a knight long ago.”

I studied his expression for a brief moment.

Unlike just before, when he had seemed awkward, he was now calm and composed, just like when we had first met and he had given me the sprig of baby’s breath.

I lowered my head and slowly took hold of Panshion’s fingers.

His skin wasn’t unbearably rough, but the hard, uneven texture was unmistakable beneath my palm.

Wow. His hand is huge.

I reached out with my other hand as well, wanting to examine Panshion’s hand more closely.

I had only ever known hands that were soft, smooth, and warm, so the shape and texture of his hand were quite fascinating to me.

At least, they were—until Panshion suddenly pulled his hand away.

I stared at the empty space where my hand had been.

Panshion was looking down at me with his eyes wide.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No. It’s not that, but……”

Then why did he pull away?

I quietly lowered my arm and looked into his eyes.

A breeze swept past, causing his dark blond hair to sway gently.

“I simply didn’t expect you to actually touch it.”

“Would it have been better if I had asked that too? Can I really touch it?”

There was no answer.

Was that his way of refusing?

Perhaps my unwavering stare had made him uncomfortable, because he turned his eyes away before extending his hand toward me again.

Worried that he might pull it away again, I spoke firmly.

“I really am going to touch it. All right? You gave me your hand just now, so that means it’s okay, right?”

“……Haa. Yes. Touch it as much as you like.”

The moment he gave me permission, I grabbed his broad hand.

Panshion had already turned his head toward the chrysanthemum garden.

Was he embarrassed?

Despite his enormous build, he seemed to have a surprisingly delicate side.

Or perhaps he simply disliked my request.

Either way, Panshion’s reaction made me feel strangely uncomfortable.

I lightly took his ring finger before letting it go.

“I’m sorry, Sir. You can turn around again. If I offended you, I apologize.”

I really was going about this the wrong way.

I should never have taken men like Lockhard as examples.

Ugh. I wanted to kick my past self for spending all those years buried in books on etiquette.

Those thick books had taught me absolutely nothing about how to deal with young noblemen.

As I let my shoulders droop to show that I was genuinely reflecting on my mistake, Panshion quickly shook his head.

“No. That is absolutely not why I turned away. It’s just that…”

His voice trailed off.

Panshion fell silent for a moment and glanced around.

“That’s Charon’s voice.”

At his words, I straightened my shoulders and focused all my attention on my hearing.

I couldn’t hear her voice clearly, but I could hear hurried footsteps.

Panshion remained silent for a moment, seemingly lost in thought, before slowly opening his mouth.

“She seemed to have difficulty adjusting to the castle, but after receiving your reply, her expression became much brighter. It has only been two days, though.”

“Charon?”

He nodded.

Then he slowly swallowed. I could clearly see his Adam’s apple move.

“Yes. My elder brother and I are both busy with our own affairs, so we haven’t been able to take very good care of Charon. She always says that she is doing fine and tells us not to worry, but she is such a kind-hearted girl that I was worried she might be suffering in silence. I’m truly glad that you came, Young Lady.”

I remembered the attitude of the maid I had witnessed at the Knights’ headquarters.

Doing fine, huh?

Surely Charon’s standards for kindness weren’t that low.

It seemed she simply couldn’t bring herself to tell Panshion about the unfair treatment she was receiving.

Why?

Was she afraid of the Duchess?

“L-Lady Katrina? Where are you?”

The footsteps were no longer far away. They were right beside us now.

The fence decorated with chrysanthemums rose above our heads, so Charon apparently couldn’t see either of us.

I turned my gaze toward Panshion.

He was already looking at me.

“I suppose I should be going now. It was a pleasure meeting you, Young Lady. I hope you enjoy your time here.”

Panshion gave me a brief bow before disappearing into the garden filled with blooming yellow flowers.

“I heard that you liked the garden…… If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk here in front of the garden rather than indoors.”

Charon’s expression was the very picture of a shy girl standing before her first love.

Seeing her face filled with such anticipation made me feel strangely unsettled.

It was the first time another girl my age had spoken and behaved as though she had been eagerly waiting for me.

I couldn’t help worrying that I might fail to live up to her expectations.

“This is a garden that the Duchess treasures very much. Brother Panshion told me that she designed it herself and has personally taken care of it for several years.”

The garden table, decorated with pure white lace, matched the atmosphere of the bright yellow flowers beautifully.

And yet, the dress worn by Charon—the very person who had invited me—looked far inferior to the quality of that lace.

She was the daughter of a ducal family, yet they had dressed her in something like that for a meeting with a guest.

Could they really be looking down on me too?

I felt as though the pride I had worked so hard to cultivate was being twisted out of shape.

“I heard that you have brothers too, Lady Katrina. Would you tell me what they’re like?”

The maid who had approached the table picked up a teapot.

It was white porcelain decorated with blue vines.

I stared blankly at the reddish tea trickling into my cup.

“Of course. My eldest brother is Eden Ezelot, my second brother is Lockhard Ezelot, and my third brother is Rick Ezelot. Their personalities are all completely different, though…… To be honest, there’s a considerable age gap between Eden and me, so we don’t interact very much. It’s difficult for me to say much about him.”

The color of the teapot in the maid’s hands changed.

This time, it was white porcelain decorated with green vines.

The maid tilted it over the cup that was clearly meant for Charon.

The same reddish tea trickled out.

“Brother Lockhard and Brother Rick have similar personalities. They’re both playful and annoying, although Brother Lockhard is a little more sly. Brother Rick is relatively calmer and enjoys reading. In conclusion, all three of them have personalities that are quite different from mine. I’m much quieter and more well-behaved than my brothers. Like a mature young lady.”

Well, more accurately, that was what I hoped to be.

At my words, Charon covered her mouth and laughed.

I could hear her laughter, but my eyes remained fixed on the teapot the maid was holding.

Eventually, the maid carried over a plate filled with cheese muffins and strawberry mousse cake.

Then came the teacups.

The tea poured from the blue-vine teapot was for me.

The tea poured from the green-vine teapot was for Charon.

I frowned irritably.

This was such an obvious and ugly act of bullying.

“Wait.”

It was just as Charon reached for her teacup.

I quickly stretched out my arm and took her cup.