IALFMFL CH 08

Suddenly, the strength of the arms imprisoning me gradually loosened.

Wondering why he had suddenly changed his mind, I glanced at him cautiously. Nazar’s eyes had already moved away from me and were fixed on the far side of the drawing room, so I followed his gaze to see what had caught his attention.

Actually, there was no need to search.

He was looking at the baby’s breath flowers arranged in the vase.

Perhaps because they were the only thing in the stiff, lifeless drawing room that was filled with such vividness? Nazar’s eyes seemed unable to leave the baby’s breath.

“Have you thought about my proposal?”

As he spoke, Nazar finally took his eyes off the flowers and looked at me again.

If he was talking about a proposal, then he must mean that ridiculous offer to introduce me to the princess. She was someone who had absolutely nothing to do with my purpose. I had no desire whatsoever to meet her.

“No. I don’t need a friend who is forced upon me. That wouldn’t be a friendship.”

Even I had to admit that it was a remarkably logical yet emotional refusal.

Perhaps he was somewhat shocked by my answer, because Nazar bent down until our eyes were level.

From this close, even his black hair, tousled by the wind but neatly brushed back, suited him perfectly. The dust and sand that had dirtied his face suited him just as well.

Right now, Nazar didn’t look like the Crown Prince at all. He looked more like a knight who had just been swinging a sword.

He reached out toward me, but then hesitated for a moment before wiping his hand against his shirt. Then, instead of placing his cleaned palm against my forehead, he touched it with the back of his hand.

What kind of foolish behavior was that? If he was going to do that, he should have wiped the back of his hand instead.

“Kate, are you really sick somewhere? Why do you keep saying things that aren’t like you? You used to whine and ask me to help you whenever anything happened.”

“I’m fifteen now. I’m not a child anymore.”

At my serious answer, he let out a small laugh.

“Then where in the world is the little lady who used to cling to my leg, crying and begging me to give her an engagement pledge?”

Nazar’s hand slowly moved away from my forehead.

I stood quietly in my place like a child being punished, watching him.

The entire sequence—the way he withdrew his hand and met my eyes—suited him as perfectly as a perfectly tailored suit.

And somehow, that frightened me a little.

I wondered whether my whining had caused him trouble. Maybe that was why he kept bringing it up so often.

“Should we just pretend it never happened?”

My voice came out slightly trembling, but I quickly cleared my throat as though nothing was wrong.

“Ahem. Nazar, if you really don’t like me that much, then just…”

Nazar gestured with his chin, as if telling me to continue.

“Just forget about it. I’m fine with it. No matter what kind of rumors spread, I’ll accept them all.”

If our engagement were called off, I could make female friends, memorize the names of young noblemen, and practice embroidery without having to worry about any of it.

That would be fine, but…

Contrary to my words, the corners of my lips kept drooping as though a heavy rock were hanging from them.

Nazar seemed to have already understood my gloomy feelings completely. Narrowing his deep-set eyes, he spoke in a stern voice.

“I told you yesterday, didn’t I? You need to learn to take responsibility for the words you speak.”

This time, he pulled one of my hands toward him and held it.

It was the same hand he had just wiped against his shirt.

“Kate, can you take responsibility for what you just said?”

Could I take responsibility?

Was he really asking whether I wanted to break off the engagement?

If I nodded here, would our engagement really be canceled?

I would have welcomed it with open arms.

If I didn’t marry Nazar, I could have children, and I wouldn’t have to spend my old age alone. I couldn’t think of every advantage right away, but it seemed as though there would be countless other good things waiting for me.

Steeling myself, I was about to nod.

I didn’t have the courage to say yes aloud, so I was determined to force my body to move anyway.

Yes, that was definitely what I intended to do!

But before I could, Nazar’s hand had already grabbed both my cheeks firmly, preventing me from moving my head up and down.

Wait, what was the point of asking me if he wasn’t even going to let me nod?

“Fine. Since you confessed that you can’t take responsibility, His Highness Nazar, who possesses a heart as vast as the sea, shall pretend it never happened. But if you say something like that again, you’ll be punished severely. Understood?”

“What kind of rule is that?!”

“Enough. Hurry up and nod.”

His expression turned cold, so I hurriedly bobbed my head.

Thankfully, Nazar loosened his grip, allowing my neck to move quite smoothly.

He was seriously unbelievable. No wonder he was the Crown Prince—he did whatever he wanted.

Still crouched down to keep our eyes level, Nazar soon pulled my hand into his.

Unlike before, all five of his fingers were cold.

Following his lead, we slowly walked down the quiet corridor, with no one else around.

Nazar never held my hand tightly.

Whether it was cold or hot, he had always been like that. Sometimes, it felt less like he was holding my hand and more like he had simply draped his fingers over it.

Even when I squeezed his palm or index finger tightly, unable to understand the reason, he never showed much of a reaction.

So, at some point, I became the one who always held Nazar’s hand.

The sky beyond the glass windows was an endless, vivid blue, and the maple tree growing right beside the building had already begun turning red from the tips of its branches.

It was a scene that made me realize autumn had truly arrived.

That looks just like Nazar’s eyes.

While I was unable to tear my gaze away from the reddish tips of the maple tree, Nazar spoke in his usual calm, even-toned voice.

“In about five years, do you think the top of your head will reach my shoulder?”

At his words, I lifted my chin and looked at Nazar.

Since he was staring straight ahead, our eyes didn’t meet, but I could tell that he was aware of me.

My gaze slowly traveled downward from his handsome profile.

As befitted a man who practiced swordsmanship as a hobby, I could see the gentle movement of his muscles beneath his shirt.

The problem was that I couldn’t see them by simply raising my chin slightly.

I had to raise it very obviously just to see anything.

From my eye level, the only parts of Nazar I could see straight ahead were his firm chest and the area around his sternum.

“Are you teasing me? You’re going to keep growing too, you know. A little dwarf like me probably won’t even reach your shoulder even if I live my whole life.”

Saying it out loud made me feel a little depressed.

Even in my previous life, which now felt so distant, I had always been shorter than the people around me.

Still, when I thought about my father and my brothers, there was a glimmer of hope.

That’s right. Height is hereditary.

I could still grow taller!

“Why are you suddenly worried about that?”

Did Nazar like tall, mature women?

That would make sense.

He was nineteen, while I was only fifteen, short enough to practically be glued to the ground.

Wait.

Then even if I made friends with girls my age, it wouldn’t help me at all, would it?

My expression immediately became troubled at this unexpected obstacle.

It’s fine. I just have to think long-term.

There were only four years until I turned nineteen…

No, wait. Four whole years?!

Starting today, I decided I would go to sleep early and wake up late.

That way, perhaps the painfully slow passage of time would move a little faster.

“I suppose I’ll feel a little sad when I think about my Kate suddenly growing so much in the future.”

At his choice of words, I shuddered in disgust.

“Oh, honestly! Where did this ‘my Kate’ even come from? Lockhard does it too, and so do you. Stop putting possessive words in front of my name.”

Nazar stopped halfway down the stairs and stared at me in utter disbelief.

“You know the word ‘possessive’? When on earth did you ever open a book?”

That sentence told me very clearly what level he had thought I was at all this time.

I widened my eyes and threw away the hand I had been holding.

“I know what it means! Anyway, don’t casually put it there. I belong to myself. I don’t belong to anyone.”

“What do you mean, ‘casually’? Do you even know how much you followed me around when you were about eight? Whenever you fell and got hurt, I carried you. Whenever you whined that you were hungry, I picked wild strawberries for you. And whenever it was time for me to leave, you would sing and beg me not to go, so there were even days when I couldn’t return to the Imperial Palace…”

“Aaaah! I don’t know! I don’t know! Stop!”

Unable to bear having every embarrassing memory of my childhood exposed, I covered my ears and ran down the stairs.

I boldly crossed the hall and even ran outside the castle, but I had no idea where Lockhard was.

In the end, I had no choice but to stop my aimless sprint.

When I turned around, I saw Nazar slowly walking toward me with his hands tucked into the pockets of his trousers.

Since he was wearing nothing but a ragged shirt without his jacket or vest, he looked like some delinquent wandering through a back alley.

Even his casually smiling face was an exact copy of Lockhard’s sly expression.

They say people who are close to each other start to resemble one another.

Those two were certainly proof of it.

“Do you understand now? Kate, I raised you halfway myself. And yet, where do you get off being so ungrateful and telling me not to use possessive words?”

The garden in the courtyard in front of the Knights’ headquarters was filled with a wide expanse of grass and neatly trimmed trees, without a single flower in sight.

As I breathed in the fresh scent of the lush green leaves, Nazar approached me.

The shadows of the leaves swayed gently across his face.

“Don’t run around by yourself and get lost again. Come on. Hold my hand.”

With a sulky expression, I took the hand he held out to me.

Just as Nazar said, I had gotten lost in the maze-like garden more than once after wandering around on my own.

I never wanted to go back to that moment when I had trembled from the cold and hunger while waiting for Nazar.

“By the way, where are we going now? I know your castle, Nazar, but I don’t know this route very well.”

“Your house.”

“I heard you were busy. Is it really okay for you to take me home?”

At my question, Nazar answered in his usual indifferent voice.

“No. I’m making time despite being busy just to take you home. So you’d better be grateful.”

Honestly, how ridiculous.

Anyone would think I had begged him on my hands and knees to come with me.

“Can’t I just go by myself?”

“No.”

It was such a firm refusal that there was no point asking anything more.

I looked away from him and faced forward.

Since Nazar adjusted his pace to match my short steps, I didn’t have to struggle to catch my breath.

By the time we arrived at Ezelot, lunchtime had long since passed, and the sun was shining brightly overhead.

Since I had skipped lunch, my stomach was growling, and I had to practically rush into the castle.

But Nazar apparently had no intention of spending any time in Ezelot.

Even when I told him to stay and eat, he stubbornly refused.

He roughly ruffled my hair, climbed into his carriage, and left Ezelot again.

I watched the Imperial carriage gradually grow smaller and smaller until it became nothing more than a dot in the distance, then quietly entered the castle.

A strange mixture of fullness and deep emptiness suddenly overwhelmed my mind, and my mood became gloomy in an instant.

Even until I put my feet into the bathtub, the smell of dust and earth that had clung to me from him refused to disappear.

With my voice sinking lower and lower, I called for Daisy.

“Daisy, is there any way to think less about someone you like?”

Daisy, who was tidying the bedroom behind the folding screen, answered.

“A way to think about them less? Hmm… I think I’ve heard that when the body is far away, the heart grows distant too.”

“Stay far away? How far?”

“At least two days away by carriage, I suppose?”

Two days by carriage?

That was far enough to travel between the capital and Ezelot more than ten times.

Disappointed by Daisy’s suggestion, I lowered my chin until it was almost beneath the surface of the water.

“Anything else?”

“Anything else… Well, it’s difficult to easily forget someone you love in the first place. Isn’t that why everyone struggles so much?”

So basically, she was telling me to quietly wait until I forgot him.

That was absolutely no help to me right now.

I let out a deep sigh and rested my head against the bathtub.

As expected, the person who falls in love first—and loves more—always loses.