Chapter 12
After putting considerable effort into physical conditioning and self-defense, Jii’s standing within the facility rose sharply with each passing year. Her practical fighting ability eventually reached a level that put her among the top five, and after that, there were far fewer people who dared to provoke her, even without relying on the warden’s influence.
So, in a way, she couldn’t help but feel grateful.
As time passed, after enduring everything through sheer stubbornness and determination, Jii gradually became accustomed to life in isolation. And as the saying went, even resentment could turn into attachment; she eventually developed a complicated bond with the warden.
So that’s where the term Stockholm syndrome came from, damn it!
As her release approached, Jii repeatedly tried to calm the warden down. Otherwise, there was no way to stop the terrifying nonsense the woman spouted about killing Jii rather than letting her leave alone.
Once the countdown to her release began, the warden’s emotions fluctuated more than a dozen times a day. Sometimes she completely lost control, and there were more than a few occasions when she genuinely threatened Jii’s life. Jii had also been pushed to the point of losing consciousness more than once.
It really felt like walking on a razor’s edge.
Because of that, Jii had been forced to placate the warden repeatedly, using whatever means necessary to keep the situation under control.
Even so, after developing that complicated attachment to the warden, there were a few moments before her release that Jii remembered as relatively good. But to be perfectly clear, Jii was heterosexual. Everything she had done had simply been a means of surviving the prison and making it out alive so she could take revenge.
Or had she developed different preferences because of what she had gone through?
Either way, Jii regarded her relationship with the warden as nothing more than a means of coping. More precisely, she had to think of it that way in order to preserve her sanity and survive her years in isolation. Yet no matter how much she tried to convince herself of that, her unconscious mind didn’t always accept it.
Disgusting.
Perhaps because it had only been a few days since her release, Jii still dreamed about those terrible early days when she had desperately fought to survive.
I’m disgusting.
More than once, she had fallen into the illusion that she was still serving her sentence, despite the fact that she had already been released. In fact, even this morning she had awakened in a panic from a nightmare in which she had been restrained.
That was clearly something from the beginning of my time there. Then did I somehow get transported back to that time? No! I don’t want that!
Fortunately, when she opened her eyes, she was not in the facility.
Ah! Haa… haa…
Looking at the walls of the tiny, shabby rented room she had secured a few days earlier, Jii couldn’t count how many times she had sighed in relief.
Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting!
It had clearly only been a nightmare, yet realizing that her body had reacted instinctively made her feel even more horrified.
They say it’s difficult for someone with deeply ingrained habits to completely change their ways.
The human body has a powerful survival instinct. Unconsciously, it struggles to stay alive and avoid injury. Even when something happens against a person’s will, that instinct can react automatically in an attempt to protect the body.
“Is it possible? Then stop pretending otherwise.”
Suddenly, Jii felt strangely unsettled.
Looking back, she regretted that she had never been able to truly stand up to the warden before her release.
At the time, she had been consumed by the short-sighted determination that she had to survive and get out first if she ever wanted to take revenge. Or perhaps her heart had been willing, but she simply hadn’t been brave enough yet.
Disgusting, Song Jii.
And as the years passed, she had become accustomed to things that she once found unbearable. That contradiction between her mind and body sometimes left her feeling deeply disgusted with herself.
Have I really changed? Is that why it felt that way?
“Unfortunately, whether you’re capable of it or not, I think you’d better find out for yourself.”
While Jii was struggling with all sorts of confusion about herself, Dong-in spoke.
Find out what?
“……”
Jii stared blankly for a moment, having only half-heard his words.
“You should get up now.”
Dong-in had finished looking through the medical certificate and suddenly spoke.
I feel like I’m missing something. What is it? This is why it’s dangerous to let my thoughts wander when I need to concentrate on a conversation. Sigh. For now, I should focus on the situation I’m actually in.
“……”
Right now, the most important thing was getting revenge on Arang.
Jii had sworn to take revenge, but she still hadn’t decided exactly how to begin. Then, like someone handing food to a starving person, Arang had conveniently appeared in front of the facility a few days earlier.
Yes. Taking your identity and reclaiming what was originally mine—there couldn’t be a better revenge than that, could there, Im. A. Rang?
According to Jii’s calculations, she didn’t need to exhaust herself running around trying to devise some elaborate revenge scheme.
Ultimately, all she needed to do was take back her identity and make sure Arang could never take it from her again. Nothing more, nothing less. That would be the ultimate revenge.
The more desperately Arang struggled to reclaim the identity she had stolen from Jii, the more satisfying the revenge would become. Once Jii took it back, every moment afterward would be revenge in itself. She could simply sit back and enjoy the fruits of her victory.
I’ll do anything for revenge!
Even now, that determination hadn’t changed.
“What are you doing?”
Even if that meant entering into a relationship with this man without involving emotions.
Who said it was impossible to separate physical matters from emotions? That was precisely what Jii had learned to do over the past several years.
“……”
Was that really it? Would a single medical certificate resolve everything?
“As you said, shouldn’t I find out for myself whether I’m capable of it or not?”
Until then, Dong-in had maintained an expression somewhere between impassive and blunt. But for some reason, he suddenly stood up with a faint grin.
“……”
Then he suddenly grabbed her wrist and pulled her to her feet.
Jii was so caught off guard that she remained dazed for a moment. She stared blankly at Dong-in’s back as he strode ahead, and it wasn’t until she was inside the elevator with him that she finally came to her senses.
“Excuse me…”
Her determination to do anything for revenge was strong, but she was still human. Her instincts immediately triggered her defenses.
“We had certain things each of us wanted to confirm before the marriage, didn’t we?”
