Chapter 3
Soya looked up at her father with a tense expression.
That day⌠that is, since the day of her first beast transformation when it was revealed that she wasnât the real daughter, this was her first face-to-face meeting with her father in three years.
However, Jeok Ayunâs gaze looking down at Soya was utterly dry.
Tap, tap, tap.
Jeok Ayunâs fingertips rhythmically drummed on the desk.
It was a behavior he often showed when deeply lost in thought.
Soya stole a glance at Jeok Ayunâs fingertips.
Soya remembered how gentle those hands had been when stroking Miss Liliâs hair just moments ago.
And she also remembered how cold and frigid those hands had been when casting her out three years ago.
[Take the childâs spirit core and confine her to the Cold Palace.]
The memories of that day, the bitter air and sharp gazes of that day, those frightening and terrifying memories too much for a six-year-old child to bear, came flooding back and bound Soya tight.
âYou know your situation. I wonât waste words.â
His emotionally restrained, calm voice pierced sharply into Soyaâs skin.
âBecause of your motherâs greed, Lili had to wander the streets at a young age when she couldnât even awaken her spirit core. Everything that child should have rightfully enjoyed was stolen away by a servant womanâs daughter.â
ââŚâ
Soya felt like she had become a criminal. Her eyelashes trembled and heat rose around her eyes.
âTherefore, I intend to do everything for my daughter whom Iâve finally found, even if everyone shakes their heads saying itâs nonsensical.â
My daughterâŚ
The moment she heard those words, Soya realized once again.
Ah⌠To father, Miss Lili is his only daughter.
I can never be a daughter or anything else to father.
In truth, from that day three years ago, father and I could no longer have any relationship whatsoever.
Even knowing this, Soya had harbored the foolish thought that perhaps father might come looking for her again, and she had waited for him all this time.
Left alone in that cold and bitter Cold Palace, she waited and waited for a father who never came.
Soya had to lose her mother from birth.
But despite her motherâs absence, the reason young Soya could grow up bright and cheerful was because of her fatherâs love.
The affectionate and kind elder brothers who would compete for their little sisterâs attention were wonderful too, but even so, Soya loved her father the most.
To young Soya, her father was everything in the world.
Even if father no longer considered her his daughterâŚ
So when she had been dragged along by Miss Liliâs stubbornness just moments ago and forced to follow into this room.
She had actually been a little excited.
The prospect of facing the father she had felt guilty just stealing glances at from afar made her heart race with anticipation.
âWhat a foolish thing to do.â
It was the moment when the foolish attachment she couldnât abandon finally snapped.
âSo make sure Lili never learns of your true identity. If Lili ever gets hurt because of you.â
Jeok Ayun added with a slight furrow of his brow.
âI will not forgive it.â
Soyaâs throat bobbed painfully.
ââŚBut father. Wasnât I already a child beyond forgiveness?â
Soya firmly swallowed down the inner thoughts that kept trying to spill out.
Because she was no longer a daughter or anything else to her father.
Even the fatherâs love given to her in her young days had ultimately been nothing more than stealing what belonged to Miss Lili.
Realization was this cruel.
âYes, Family Head.â
Soya answered in a crawling voice with her head deeply bowed.
A crack-like fissure appeared on Jeok Ayunâs face as he quietly looked down at her.
He had briefly sensed sadness, loss, and even resignation from Soya.
Such deep and lonely negative emotions that didnât suit a nine-year-oldâs age.
Only then did Jeok Ayun deliberately raise his gaze, which he had avoided focusing on, to carefully observe the child he was meeting for the first time in three years.
Her pale complexion and hunched shoulders, the two hands fidgeting helplessly inside her sleeves and the two feet flinching anxiously. And her lifeless voiceâŚ
It was very different from how he remembered her. The Soya of the past was unlike nowâŚ
âUseless sentimentality.â
Jeok Ayun coldly cut off the useless thoughts that were about to bloom and issued an order to leave.
âGo.â
Soya withdrew while muffling her footsteps.
Had that child always walked like that originally?
Like a criminal, holding her breath like thatâŚ
ââŚâ
Jeok Ayunâs expression crumpled.
It would be a lie to say he felt no pity.
However, he tried not to think deeply about it.
He had raised her this much even though she was originally a servant womanâs daughter, and hadnât punished her despite stealing his daughterâs place. He hadnât cast her out or beaten her.
To feel pity for this child, his guilt toward Lili was greater.
Lili, his real daughter Lili, had grown up on those cold streets unable to eat properly, unable to find a physician when sick, and being pointed at as a fatherless child.
The servant woman who had switched the children and fled had raised Lili as her own daughter, but hadnât been a good guardian to the child.
Liliâs expression would darken whenever asked about that woman, which tore at his heart.
He wanted to capture that damned criminal and interrogate her thoroughly about the circumstances, but she had already died three years ago.
So Lili had to grow up alone for three years without father or mother.
She couldnât even awaken her spirit core, which others awaken around five or six years old, and only had her first beast transformation at nine years old.
Even that was because her spirit core had weakened from being severely ill in childhood, so she couldnât properly transform.
Such a child had endured the pain and forced herself to attempt transformation in front of them, saying she wanted to meet her âreal family.â
Just thinking of Lili made his heart ache and filled him with guilt toward his deceased wife.
Therefore, there wasnât even the smallest grain of pity left in his heart to share with Soya.
Since she was originally the daughter of a servant woman who served Madam, having her serve the familyâs young lady in atonement would be a generous measure.
Jeok Ayun deliberately brainwashed himself this way, even knowing that young Soya bore no fault.
It wouldnât be right to pay any more attention to that pitiful yet impudent child.
His days were busy enough just returning the affection he hadnât been able to give Lili all this time.
* * *
The âfakeâ who had stolen the real young ladyâs place became the real young ladyâs servant.
Though this absurd farce unfolded within the Suzaku Family, Family Head Jeok Ayun firmly sealed the mouths of his household members.
âFather!â
Jeok Ayun lifted the giggling, running Lili into his arms.
Lili hung on her fatherâs neck with both arms, chattering away and acting cute.
Soya quietly watched the affectionate scene between the Family Head and young lady.
âOh my, Lili. Your hair is all messy.â
Jeok Ayun gently scolded in an affectionate voice while untying Liliâs hair ribbon.
âWe need to tie your hair again.â
He handed the hair ribbon he had untied to Soya, who was following behind.
His attitude was as indifferent as he would be toward any other servant women in the household, yet as cruel as if telling Soya not to forget and remember her position.
âItâs okay.â
Soya looked down at the young ladyâs hair ribbon and muttered to herself inwardly as if chanting.
âYes, itâs okay.â
When she closed her eyes deeply and opened them again, she saw the family head gently combing through the young ladyâs disheveled hair with his hand, wearing a warm smile.
Just like when she was very young⌠the way he used to do for SoyaâŚ
âOh, that tickles, Father.â
When Lili burst into laughter, Jeok Ayun smiled along with the child.
A cuckoo flew around them as if blessing the peaceful moment between father and daughter, then disappeared.
ââŚItâs okay. Itâs really okay.â
Soya was fine.
Though her heart ached because she could no longer be her fatherâs daughter, she was fine.
Though her skin stung from her big brotherâs contemptuous gaze, she was fine.
The sharp voices of the household members who whispered whenever they saw her, Lili receiving everyoneâs love as the real young lady, and having to watch it all as the young ladyâs servantâit was all fine.
Because I am⌠a wicked little bird who deceived and hurt Father and big brother.
Because I am a sinner who stole Young Lady Liliâs place and caused everyone pain.
So I really was fine.
ReallyâŚ
* * *
Young Lady Liliâs ninth birthday.
It was her first birthday since being reunited with her family.
Family head Jeok Ayun had announced that he would throw a very grand celebration.
And in the midst of all this, news came that the Fifth Prince would be visiting the estate from the capital.
