Chapter 9
“Getting kicked out” all of a sudden? I looked at the members, wondering what they were talking about.
“Su-ho oppa, this isn’t right, is it?”
“Unnies, it’s just as we expected—we’re being kicked out. No wonder they suddenly stopped our practice. Huhuhu—! What should we do?”
“Oppa, we’ve failed time and again, but without any warning, so suddenly like this?”
“Unnies, are we really breaking up now?”
“Hey, what are you talking about?”
“Oppa said it was a last supper!”
I had genuinely wanted to let them eat whatever they wanted and bond with them today, since we were going to be in a grueling schedule from now on. I never expected this kind of misunderstanding. As they huddled together, hugging each other and sobbing, I shouted at them.
“Hey! You guys, we got the song! Starting tomorrow, we’re going into Spartan-style intensive practice and strict diet management, so I wanted to let you eat whatever you wanted today as a last hurrah, but…”
“…We got a song?”
“Yeah, and it turned out really well.”
“So we’re not being kicked out?”
“Where did this talk about being kicked out even come from?”
“Really?”
“No!”
“Hehe, oppa~ you scared us!”
“Oppa, you should have told us earlier if that was the case. We had no idea, and when you suddenly suggested a special company dinner, we thought the worst and our minds went blank…”
“Oppa, is the song good?”
“Do you want to hear it?”
The leader, Ha-neul, who had cried the most, asked about the song. Instead of answering, I pulled over to the shoulder, parked the car, and played the WAV file saved on my phone. This time, it was the file with the guide recording, no mistakes. From the moment the fantastic intro started, the members, as if by unspoken agreement, all covered their mouths. It was as if they’d been struck right in the heart. The old car was filled with melody and beats, and the heartfelt yet chic lyrics flowed out in a refreshingly beautiful voice. The magical 3 minutes and 28 seconds, as if time had stopped, ended. Even after a few more minutes passed, no one could speak. I broke the silence.
“How is it?”
“This… this is our song, right? It’s really ours, isn’t it?”
“I promised I’d find a good song. The title is ‘Black Excitement.’ Shortened to ‘Black Ex’.”
“Kyaaaah—! It’s so good!”
Finally, the cheers I’d been expecting erupted.
“Su-ho oppa, who composed Black Ex?”
“A rookie named JH. He did the lyrics, composition, and arrangement all by himself.”
“Even the lyrics and arrangement?”
“Yes.”
“Everything was perfect, not a single thing lacking. Isn’t he a genius?”
“I think he’s a complete genius too.”
“How did you find and secure a rookie composer’s song?”
“Just lucky.”
“Oppa! The composer must know us well, right? The song fits us perfectly!”
“Right. That’s why Black Ex was made with you in mind from the start. So work really hard.”
“I knew it!”
At the members’ request to hear the song again, I pressed replay and handed over the sheet music I’d prepared in advance. The sheet music detailed not only the part distribution but also fine direction on what emotions and feelings to use when singing. Having received the sheet music, the members listened more intently. When the playback ended, Ha-neul’s gaze turned to me.
“Oppa, who did the guide vocal?”
“JH did. Why?”
“Oppa, you’re JH, aren’t you?”
“H-how did you know?”
“Really?”
I thought I’d used a mix of chest and head voices with modulation, so there was no way they’d catch on. But Ha-neul’s sense regarding singing was so exceptional that she figured it out immediately. Ji-a, Hye-rin, and Airy also seemed to have had their suspicions, nodding as if they’d expected it. From then on, a barrage of questions came from the members. I answered as I had with Lee Woo-seong, then changed the subject to food. As soon as food was mentioned, Ji-a took the bait.
“Oppa, you’re really going to buy us whatever we want?”
“Malatang, pizza, samgyeopsal—just say it.”
“Can we have a glass of draft beer too?”
“Just one glass, max.”
“Chicken!”
“No! Anything but chicken or fried food.”
“Why not chicken, oppa?”
“Who eats chicken at a company dinner? We eat meat!”
“Chicken is meat too.”
“No, no, let’s do samgyeopsal. Chicken makes you fat.”
“Samgyeopsal makes you fatter!”
“What are you talking about? Haven’t you heard that with advances in medicine, samgyeopsal is a superfood?”
In the end, I overruled Ji-a and confirmed the menu as samgyeopsal. While grilling the meat, we talked a lot about “Black Excitement.” From the song’s background and concept to singing technique and vocalization, the members were absorbed in my surprisingly rich musical knowledge and looked at me with respect in their eyes. That night, in the car on the way back to their dorm, the members, their bellies full of samgyeopsal, chanted “fighting” and “Sparta” enthusiastically along with me.
—
* * *
—
Several days passed, and it was now April. The cherry blossoms in Yeouido had their buds fully swollen, as if they would soon bloom and shyly reveal their delicate petals. With Division Head Seon Woo-cheol taking the lead, Lovely’s preparations were progressing smoothly, as if mirroring the fine weather. Except for one thing.
“Manager, what about Keanu?”
“He said he’s booked until June.”
“Mr. Kang Young-joon?”
“That team’s schedule is backed up until August.”
Choreography is absolutely essential for girl group music. Even the first girl group to achieve a reverse run miracle a few years ago succeeded largely because their cute, fun, and sexy choreography became a hot topic. Choreography is as important as the song itself, but unluckily, all of Korea’s top-tier choreographers said they couldn’t take on Lovely due to their packed schedules.
“Manager, we only have a month left. What should we do?”
“We can’t delay any longer. I’ll talk to the in-house dance trainers. They’ve done choreography a few times before, so they should be able to handle it.”
“Rather than the in-house trainers, let’s commission professional choreographers, even if they’re B-tier.”
“I looked into B-tier teams too, but all the decent ones are booked.”
“The in-house trainers are pretty underwhelming…”
“They’re probably better than mediocre B-tier choreographers.”
I’d checked the status windows of the in-house trainers while going back and forth between the practice room and the cafeteria. Among them were dance trainers, of course. The problem was that their Choreography stat hovered around 80. While all choreographers start as dancers, dancing and choreography are different areas that require separate talents. I suspected that was why the choreography put together by the in-house trainers had consistently failed to gain popularity. A prime example was Lovely’s last choreography, also done by an in-house trainer, which became a laughingstock among idol fans. If we were going to entrust the choreography to the trainers anyway, it might be better to give it to Airy, who boasted a Choreography stat of 94…
“Manager, what do you think about having Airy do the choreography?”
“Airy? Can she make choreography? And she’s not even the main dancer of the team?”
Lovely’s main dancer is Hye-rin, who also serves as the center thanks to her overwhelming visuals. However, according to the status window, Airy, who is in charge of rapping, has a Dance stat of 92, equal to Hye-rin, and her potential is even higher. I’d also noticed that while watching them practice, Airy often offered opinions regarding choreography and blocking. Even without saying anything, it meant the members implicitly acknowledged Airy’s choreographic ability. If fellow members who’ve been active for 5 years acknowledge it, that itself was a solid guarantee.
“The members probably share my opinion. When we practice, they all listen to Airy when it comes to choreography.”
“Really?”
“She may lack experience, but Airy’s ability to create choreography is far superior to the in-house trainers’.”
“Experience is very important for girl group choreography, you know?”
“Let’s give her a try and let the results speak for themselves. I guarantee it’ll be much better than what the trainers come up with.”
“If you’re going that far, let’s give it a try. But I’ll have the trainers prepare something too.”
“So we’re deciding through an in-house audition later? Sounds good.”
—
* * *
—
After three consecutive days of spring rain, the weather cleared up as if by magic, and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. I watched Lovely in the morning and then followed Kim San-ha to the SBC variety show set in the afternoon. The shoot, which started at 2 PM, kept getting delayed due to repeated NG’s from the guests, and didn’t end until well past 11 AM the next day. When the cast members were exchanging feedback with the production crew, the main MC Cha Dong-eop suggested a drinking session disguised as a company dinner.
Cha Dong-eop, nicknamed National MC, Dong-eop-shin, and God of Sex Jokes, was famous in the entertainment industry as a heavy drinker. The problem was that Kim San-ha also loved drinking. When those two got together, the drinking session would go on for hours. As soon as the dinner was mentioned, Kim San-ha’s face lit up. In this state, I’d be stuck here until 4 or 5 PM. There was an audition to decide Lovely’s choreography scheduled for 3 PM today. I absolutely couldn’t miss it, but…
But I had to watch over Kim San-ha’s drinking session. Kim San-ha had been involved in several unpleasant scandals due to his drunken antics, and if something like that happened again, it would be hard for him to recover his image.
‘Can I get out of this?’
Frustrated, I activated Cha Dong-eop’s status window. I’d already checked it before and didn’t expect much, but I looked anyway, just in case.
[Cha Dong-eop]
MC, Comedian.
Personality: Witty. Loyal. Dirty jokes. Repays favors. Heavy drinker. (Evil < Good)
Special Notes: Recurring alternating constipation and diarrhea, unexplained weight loss.
<<Appearance: 84/86, Acting: 89/90, Dance: 85/89, Wit: 94/97, MC/Hosting: 95/96, Quick Wit: 92/94, Charm: 90/93>>
As expected, there was no excuse to stop the drinking session. In the end, the drinking session commenced, and the excited Cha Dong-eop and Kim San-ha started pouring drinks as soon as they sat down. Cha Dong-eop, with an immeasurable capacity for alcohol, and Kim San-ha, who could handle five bottles of soju, became talkative once the alcohol kicked in. Resigned to my fate, I sat at a slightly lower table, eating side dishes as my meal, when I overheard some off-putting conversation.
“San-ha, I’ve got an occupational hazard too. Sitting all the time gave me hemorrhoids, I think.”
“Really, you pooping blood?”
“Yeah, it’s been a few days now.”
“Hyung, are your stools thin?”
“Since I started pooping blood, they’ve gotten thinner.”
“Using a bidet?”
“Everyone uses a bidet these days.”
“Then you’re fine. Use the bidet well, buy some medicine, and apply it thickly a few times—it’ll get better soon. On days you drink like today, apply it every time you think of it.”
“Can I skip the hospital?”
“For just pooping blood from hemorrhoids? What hospital… try it for a few days, and if it doesn’t work, you can go to the hospital then.”
“Think so?”
“Of course. Hemorrhoids are inflammation, so you need to disinfect with alcohol. Drink up.”
Could I use hemorrhoids as an excuse to end the drinking session early? It seemed unlikely, but I searched for the symptoms and risks of hemorrhoids. However, combining what appeared on the status window with Cha Dong-eop’s words earlier, it perfectly matched the early symptoms of colon cancer. Not just to end the drinking session, but out of genuine concern, I approached him.
“San-ha hyung, can I say something to Dong-eop-nim?”
“What?”
“One of my cousins had the same symptoms as Dong-eop-nim. He thought it was just hemorrhoids and took it lightly, but a few months later, he died of colon cancer.”
“What’s with the sudden talk about colon cancer?”
“San-ha hyung, hang on. Dong-eop-nim, do you happen to alternate between constipation and diarrhea these days?”
“How did you know?”
“And you’ve been losing weight recently without even trying, haven’t you?”
“Right, right!”
Up to this point, it was based on the status window, so it couldn’t be wrong. When I accurately pointed out things he hadn’t told anyone, Cha Dong-eop looked at me as if I were a gifted shaman.
“What about a feeling of incomplete evacuation after a bowel movement?”
“I have that too.”
“Ah! This isn’t good. Have you ever felt abdominal pain, had a bowel movement, and still felt the pain afterward?”
“Even today…”
The last two symptoms I’d mentioned were from an internet search. With these additional symptoms, it was no joke—he really needed to suspect colon cancer. Whether my expression meant something or not, Cha Dong-eop’s face turned pale even though I hadn’t said anything specific. Shocked by my words, some of the other cast members and production staff hurriedly fiddled with their smartphones. Though each search site was different, all the descriptions of colon cancer symptoms were identical. The atmosphere in the bar suddenly turned icy cold. I hadn’t meant to ruin the mood like this, but in the end, Cha Dong-eop grabbed his manager’s hand and headed to a nearby large proctology clinic. It was 1 PM.
