Chapter 7. The Desire for Revenge Is Human Nature
“What did you do?”
“…?”
The Duke growled harshly.
“What exactly did you do to make my Sei cry so hard she can barely speak?”
Ah…
So that was it.
This time, his precious Sei must have found it difficult to fabricate a specific accusation against me.
So instead, she had simply cried.
And blinded by those tears, the Duke had come here in search of the only clue he could find—
Because the maids had told him,
“She became like that after visiting the Second Young Lady.”
“My sister… came to bring me some sweets. Perhaps… I was simply so surprised that I failed to thank her properly—”
“Ghk!”
My cautious explanation failed to move him in the slightest.
Pain exploded through me again.
“She cried over something so trivial? Don’t lie to me!”
“Why would that kind, gentle child be so heartbroken after seeing someone like you?!”
Blows crashed into my shoulders.
My arms.
My legs.
My back.
“I-I’m sorry…”
“I’m so sorry…”
Truthfully…
I didn’t even know what I’d done wrong.
Still, this time I intended to do the exact opposite of everything I had done in my previous life.
Because if I behaved as I had back then…
The ending would only be the same.
Once, I would have burst into tears.
Now I held them back.
Instead of protesting or desperately defending myself, I simply repeated the same words like a prayer—
Softly.
Pitifully.
“I’m sorry…”
After a long silence, the Duke finally spoke.
Not directly to me.
But loudly enough for me to hear.
“Nail her door shut.”
“Until I give further orders, she isn’t to receive even a single mouthful of water.”
The moment the Duke left, agony surged through my body as though every muscle were being torn apart.
“Hah… hh…!”
Yet somehow…
A smile escaped me.
The moment I smiled, tears began streaming down my face.
For the first time…
I felt grateful to the Duke.
Fear had ruled my life for far too long.
Even after returning to the past, fear had been the first thing I felt upon seeing him again.
Now I understood.
Not even death could completely suppress human nature.
Not curiosity.
Not vengeance.
Even as the flames had been about to consume me…
All I had wanted was to know who that person had been.
Every place the Duke had struck throbbed as though branded by fire.
Yet the fear slowly faded beneath another emotion.
Hatred.
Only now did my desire for revenge truly begin.
As though he himself had handed me the spark…
And at last the wick called hatred had caught fire.
Yes.
This violent man…
This was the true face of my official grandfather—
His Grace, the Duke.
At their core, humans are ignorant creatures.
We learn only through experience.
So perhaps it was inevitable that I only realized the truth after dying once.
To him…
I had never been anything more than an insect.
Even so…
Because I’d survived beneath this roof for ten years without being cast out…
I’d foolishly believed he considered me family.
How ridiculous.
Killing a mouse is harder than crushing an insect.
Killing a stray cat is harder than killing a mouse.
Why?
Because mice are worth more than insects?
Because cats are worth more than mice?
Not at all.
It’s simply because the larger something is…
The more unpleasant it is to kill with your bare hands.
That was all.
The Duke hadn’t allowed me to remain in this household for ten years because he felt familial affection.
I merely happened to possess a human shape—
Too large to casually step on and crush.
So he postponed it.
The moment the opportunity presented itself…
He killed me.
Without hesitation.
Without remorse.
And I only understood that after dying.
This time…
I wouldn’t let my own opportunity slip away.
If fate couldn’t be changed…
If I was destined to die again…
Then before I did…
I’d make sure every debt was repaid.
“You suffered a terrible fever, so your body must still be aching. This tonic soup will restore your strength, and this medicine will help relax your muscles.”
I silently watched as the butler set down a pot and a jar of ointment before me.
The bruises covering my face were impossible to miss.
Yet he smiled politely, speaking only the words expected of him.
The butler, Hugo Grant, possessed loyalty as unwavering as a hunting dog.
His eyes cared only for his master’s wishes.
A perfect servant for Duke Nuck, a man who adored obedient dogs.
“His Grace says your confinement has been lifted. He understands that you were unwell in both body and mind and won’t hold it against you.”
His eyes practically said the rest.
“Master is far too merciful toward the likes of you.”
Once…
Those eyes would have left me humiliated and furious.
Now I simply nodded.
“Thank you.”
“Please thank His Grace as well… and you too, Butler.”
Unlike the other servants, he always remained impeccably courteous before me.
But inwardly…
He regarded me as nothing more than a disgusting impostor.
Which was why, despite being addressed so humbly by someone who technically outranked him…
He showed no surprise whatsoever.
He merely told me to rest before quietly taking his leave.
Inside the pot…
Was chicken soup.
The moment its aroma reached me, hunger surged through me.
Along with something far more violent.
A few slaps…
A pot of soup.
A few kicks…
A jar of ointment.
Was that how he measured my worth?
Your blood is worth exactly one bowl of soup.
Even so…
One question refused to leave my mind.
Why now?
Why suddenly show me such consideration?
Compassion?
Impossible.
There was only one explanation.
Everything Sei did looked lovely to him.
But watching someone as pathetic as me struggle and scream…
Must have offended his eyes.
Since I’d quietly endured the beating without making a fuss…
Perhaps he’d simply realized he’d gone a little too far.
A small laugh escaped me.
Not the joy of victory.
The thrill of a gambler whose wager had paid off.
The plan had worked.
Vinchen had been right.
Pretending to be meek…
Keeping my head down…
Was the surest way to avoid attracting even more attacks.
And there was something else.
I had to lower the Duke’s guard.
When I had first returned…
Of course I couldn’t set anything on fire.
Everyone had been watching the infamous “fake young lady.”
So my path was obvious.
I would make both the Duke…
And the Saintess…
Completely lower their guard.
Until the moment they were happiest.
Until the moment they believed that, now that Sei had become the Saintess…
Nothing but happiness awaited them.
“Vinchen… Vinchen.”
The Duke’s charity hadn’t erased my desire for revenge simply because he’d filled my empty stomach.
It had merely given me enough strength to breathe.
And so…
My thoughts naturally turned toward gratitude instead.
Toward the person I owed the most.
Vinchen.
“My Lady.”
Without so much as a greeting, he immediately came to me.
Without the slightest hesitation.
In the past, I’d never understood what that meant.
I’d merely thought him crude.
Ill-mannered.
Yesterday I’d clung to him and cried my heart out.
Yet the moment I saw him again…
My chest tightened once more.
I held out the bundle I’d been hugging tightly to myself.
“This…”
“This is… for you, Vinchen…”
A crooked smile mixed with tears and snot spread across my face.
How ridiculous.
What meaning did any of this have?
If I’d given this to the Vinchen of my previous life…
The one whose tongue had already been cut out…
What good would it have done?
His tongue was already gone.
What could a little ointment possibly fix?
But…
There was nothing else I could do.
With my battered body…
The only thing left untouched had been this jar of medicine.
Offering it to him…
Was the only apology I could possibly make.
“My Lady.”
Vinchen gently covered my hand with his own…
And pushed the ointment back toward me.
“It is only natural for those below to serve those above.”
“You needn’t concern yourself with someone like me.”
From Vinchen’s perspective…
None of this made any sense.
Yet instead of questioning me…
Or thinking I’d gone mad…
He simply returned the medicine.
“If you have no other orders, I must be going.”
“I still have work to do.”
“…!”
What else could I possibly say?
Once again…
The reality of my circumstances struck me with painful clarity.
I had nothing.
Nothing I could do.
Nothing I possessed.
Even after returning from death…
I still couldn’t do anything for the one person who had never betrayed me.
I couldn’t knight him.
I couldn’t grant him honor.
I couldn’t even let him rest for a single day.
“The demolition of today’s building hasn’t been completed yet.”
Only then did I finally notice his clothes.
Dust covered his hair.
His appearance suited a construction site far more than a knight’s barracks.
“A building?”
“What are they demolishing?”
“What needs repairing?”
Confused, I frowned.
As far as I remembered…
Nothing in the ducal estate was supposed to change around this time.
“The chapel at the eastern edge of the garden.”
“They began tearing it down today.”
“…!”
What?
Where?
The chapel?
The very place I’d been in until yesterday?
As I walked back toward the library, passing the ruins that had once been the chapel, I ground my teeth together.
Only now had I realized the value of that little chapel I’d hated throughout my previous life.
And now…
My plans had already begun to unravel.
The Duke never took me with him to the temple where the bishops of Nuck served.
At this point in time…
He hadn’t permitted me to practice my faith publicly.
If I wanted to build a reputation as someone devout…
I needed both a place to pray and the proper materials.
The chapel had been the only place available to me.
And now…
It was gone.
Something felt terribly wrong.
Originally…
The chapel had indeed been destined for demolition.
The Duke had discovered structural defects by chance.
But that wasn’t supposed to happen now.
It was supposed to happen just before my debut.
Then why…
Why so early?
Yesterday, as we left the chapel…
I vaguely remembered hearing the Duke instruct Hugo Grant regarding the building.
A dreadful realization crept over me.
Could it be…
That my actions after returning had already begun changing the future?
If the knowledge I’d brought back through time became unreliable…
That would be disastrous.
It was my only advantage.
Still…
Perhaps there was one silver lining.
The world itself…
Could change.
For now…
It would be best to carry out yesterday’s plan and attract the attention of Professor Ross Taylor—
The scholar destined to become famous in the future.
Fortunately…
Knowing the future allowed me to map out what needed to be done.
First…
I needed to understand the direction society itself would take.
But the moment that thought crossed my mind…
My heart ached.
“Hector…”
“Killes…”
The two men destined to stand at the very center of the Empire’s future.
Only then did I realize why I’d felt so restless.
Seeing Vinchen had forced me to recognize the truth my subconscious had been avoiding.
There was no way to repay them.
No…
I couldn’t even be certain I’d ever meet them again.
Should I even try?
Even if we did meet…
They wouldn’t recognize me.
Would they still come to care for me…
As they once had?
For someone who had returned from death…
Yet remained just as powerless…
Even while burning with vengeance.
It was deep into the night.
The boy suddenly opened his eyes.
His entire body was drenched in sweat.
His eyes were bloodshot…
Like someone who had spent ten straight nights weeping.
“……”
He remained silent for a long time.
Then abruptly rose and headed somewhere.
“Young Master?”
His servant called after him, puzzled by his master’s strange behavior.
But the boy acted as though he hadn’t heard a thing.
He strode directly into his study.
A room befitting the only heir of the ducal house that ruled the Empire’s eastern territories—
Grand.
Warm.
Lined with shelves upon shelves of books.
He searched frantically.
Tearing through volume after volume.
At last…
He found the yearbook he wanted.
Opening the register of noble families, he turned page after page.
Until suddenly…
His movements stopped.
His hands trembled.
His gaze resembled someone standing at the edge of a towering cliff…
Looking down upon a vast, dark blue sea churning endlessly below.
Yet reflected clearly within Hector’s emerald-green eyes…
There was only a single name.
The House of Duke Nuxieike.
Astir W. de Nuxieike.
