IDGM 66

Chapter 66

Up until the afternoon, I had been in a cheerful mood.

I had boasted proudly to Calias that I had bravely stolen Kabala’s treasure, and I was intoxicated with the feeling that everything would go well from now on.

But by the time the sun disappeared, my mood had completely changed.

In Ronheim, the sun set unusually fast.

If this were Arental, it would still be early evening, when a party had not even begun yet, but here in Ronheim people were already getting ready for bed.

I gazed down at the Ronheim estate blanketed in darkness.

Along with the nightfall, sudden fatigue sank heavily onto my body and mind.

It was the physical exhaustion from continuous sleeplessness and the mental fatigue from trying to adapt to a new place.

‘I don’t feel good.’

As my body and heart grew weary, gloomy thoughts crept up from my toes like ghosts, entangling me.

During the day I had been constantly surrounded by maids, exchanging greetings and small talk with the people I met, always mingling among them.

At that time, I had thought how much I longed to be alone and rest. Yet when I finally found myself alone in the room, loneliness swelled up like a tide.

Inside the silent room, I stared blankly at the dark window outside, seized by anxiety.

‘What if things don’t go as I planned?’
‘What if Kabala eventually learns that I stole the treasure and fled?’
‘What if I fail to win people’s hearts here and get cast out?’
‘What if these sleepless nights never end?’

Though reason told me it wouldn’t be like that, once the negative thoughts began, they dragged me endlessly downward.

‘In the end, I’ll be all alone.’
‘What meaning does my life have?’
‘If only I hadn’t come back to life, I could have rested in peace.’
‘Even now, Andrea and Kabala must be laughing.’
‘Maybe I’m still dancing in their grasp, a puppet on strings.’

My breathing grew faster.

I curled up, panting shallow breaths as if something were chasing me.

‘It’s hard. I’m scared. I’m anxious.’

As I sat trembling on the chair with my knees hugged to my chest, Calias’s words from a few days ago suddenly came to mind.

“If you want to be like me, why not try exercising?”

“Exercising?”

“Muscles grow stronger and bigger the more you move them and stimulate them. With muscles, the body becomes much healthier.”

“Even for someone like me? I’m not really…”

“Just try. Don’t you want to be stronger?”

“Well, yes, but still…”

“Then how about this? Even if you don’t see immediate changes, moving your body a little makes you feel much better. Think of it as exercising for a good mood.”

“Exercising makes you feel better?”

“Oh, and with muscles, you’ll also feel less cold. Trust me.”

Then Calias had taught me a few exercises that would suit me.

At first, he suggested holding a wooden rod and lifting it up and down, but I couldn’t even raise the rod he handed me off the ground, let alone lift it repeatedly.

He brought other tools too, which he himself could lift effortlessly with just a finger, but I could only barely manage to pick them up with gritted teeth before putting them back down.

It was the first time I saw Calias looking so flustered.

After much thought, he finally gave me a solution.

“Then… let’s start with just sitting down and standing up from a chair.”

So I had followed his advice back then, rising slowly from the chair and sitting back down again and again.

‘One, two, three, four…’

I was out of breath in no time, but I kept repeating it, inhaling and exhaling slowly.

‘I want to feel less cold. I want to be healthy. I want to be stronger, and I want to feel better.’

With that thought, I endured the ache in my thighs and continued the motion.

“—What are you doing?”

It was Cal’s voice.

I stopped what I was doing and turned toward the sound.

The moment I thought about how lonely I felt, Cal appeared like magic, and I was so happy I greeted him with a wide smile.

“Cal! You’re here!”

“Of course. Who do you think I am?”

He swaggered as he came closer to me.

“But what are you doing? Why are you fidgeting, sitting and standing like that?”

“Oh, this? It’s exercise.”

“Exercise?”

“Yeah. Calias said if I keep doing this, I’ll build muscles and get healthy. I might even become as muscular as him!”

“Really?”

Cal shrugged, looking displeased.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

He dragged a chair and sat down beside me.

‘Now that I think about it, there were so many things I wanted to ask Cal…’

I had been meaning to ask a few things—where he was from, who gave him the Platous bracelet he always wore on his wrist, how he came alone all the way to Ronheim, and how he managed to sneak into the castle…

I had promised myself to ask all of this once he showed up again.

But now that he was right in front of me, I didn’t feel like bringing any of it up.

Something told me I shouldn’t know.

So instead, I asked him something else entirely.

“Cal, do you think I could introduce you to Calias?”

“What?”

Cal flinched and frowned.

I hesitated, whispering softly.

“If I did, then maybe you wouldn’t have to sneak around anymore… If I told him you’re my friend, wouldn’t he welcome you?”

His frown deepened, so I quickly added,

“This place is different from the palace. Calias would surely…”

“Chloe.”

Cal shot me a piercing glare.

It was the first time he had looked at me like that, and I flinched.

“What’s so different? Is there anyone here who truly welcomes you? Do you think I don’t know they’re all suspicious of you?”

“That’s…”

“Every time I come, all you talk about is Calias this, Calias that. Do you really think he’s a good person?”

“Cal, he is a good person. Truly.”

He narrowed his eyes at me.

“If he were really a good person, would he let his subordinates keep doubting you? Doesn’t that mean he’s either incompetent—or hiding something?”

“There must be a reason…”

“Chloe!”

He sighed heavily, looking pained, as if my stubbornness was unbearable.

“You said the same thing when Andrea pushed you toward marriage with Viscount Pelsus. That there must be a reason. What kind of reason justifies that?”

I couldn’t answer, struck silent by his frustration.

With urgency, he pleaded with me.

“Don’t trust some man you’ve barely known. Be cautious. Please—stop believing people so easily. Aren’t you just clinging to someone because it’s too hard to stand on your own?”

His words stung.

Was that it? Maybe Cal was right.

Maybe I was so overwhelmed by Kabala and Andrea that I was just desperate to trust and lean on anyone.

Not wanting to admit I had been too quick to trust someone again, I stuck out my lips and muttered a small protest.

“But Calias… he’s different from Andrea.”

“In what way?”

“He’s kind and gentle. He’s a good man. That’s why everyone loves him.”

“Andrea was kind and gentle to you at first, too.”

“No, no! He’s not like Andrea!”

Cal looked at me with deep worry.

“You’re far too softhearted. What will you do if he betrays you?”

“Betrayal…”

At that word, memories of my past life—of the betrayal I suffered at the hands of Andrea and Kabala, the only ones I had trusted—tore harshly through my chest.

Seeing my drooping shoulders, Cal said firmly,

“If you want to trust Marquis Rodrian, then trust yourself instead. I don’t trust him. Don’t tell him anything about me.”

“…All right.”

Calias entered the shared bedroom earlier than usual.

Contrary to his expectation that Chloe would be waiting there, the bed was empty.

‘Where could she be? What is she doing?’

Though it hurt him to see her suffer from the curse every night, he had cherished the conversations they shared before falling asleep.

Lately, Calias had come to look forward to the night, because it meant time spent with Chloe.

After those moments, he would rise early at dawn to search for traces of his mother.

For more than a decade after her murder, he had shut away and avoided all the places she had frequented, because seeing them made the absence of her presence unbearably real.

But despite the pain, lately he had begun visiting those places again, sifting through her records and belongings—

—all for the sole purpose of saving Chloe.

Tonight, too, Calias paced in the bedroom, anticipating time with her.

Then, his ears caught the sound of Chloe’s voice. She was in her room—speaking with someone.