Chapter 04
This time, Cal’s expression was truly priceless.
I grinned mischievously as I stood facing him.
My friend looked like a young boy whose head barely reached my chest.
I knew all too well that he would never grow beyond this appearance.
While I grew older, he never changed.
And I knew that even ten years from now, he would still look exactly the same.
Cal never did tell me why he couldn’t grow… not even on the day I died.
In my previous life, I often thought about Cal.
On the day I married Count Felsus in the Imperial Palace, I happened to catch sight of someone watching from afar.
When those golden eyes, bright as sunlight, settled on me in my wedding dress, I was startled.
For a moment… I thought it was Cal.
The man looked astonishingly similar to him.
If Cal ever grew up, I imagined he would look exactly like that man.
His resemblance to my closest friend made him stand out instantly, and the image stayed etched into my memory.
That wedding day was both the first and last time I ever saw him.
Afterward, whenever Cal mysteriously appeared beside me without anyone noticing, I would sometimes think of that man.
If I could ever return to the past, I had wanted to see Carius up close just once.
The more precious Cal became to me, the stronger my curiosity about Carius grew.
And now that I truly had returned to the past, the very first thought that crossed my mind was that I could finally see Carius again.
Along with another wonderful idea—
Through him, I could create exactly the kind of situation Andrea feared most.
“Hehe…”
I laughed with the face of a true villain.
Cal looked up at me with wide, puzzled eyes.
“What?”
“What do you mean?”
“That smile. It’s… different from usual.”
His face clearly said that I seemed like a different person.
Feigning innocence, I shrugged.
“Really?”
“That’s strange. Ever since a few days ago, you’ve seemed like someone else.”
“So… do you hate it?”
Cal broke into a broad grin.
“No.”
“I like it a lot.”
I smiled brightly.
“Thank you.”
Just then, I heard footsteps approaching.
I turned toward Cal, intending to tell him to hide before anyone saw him.
Fortunately, before I could even say anything, he had already vanished like a ghost.
Fast as always.
Trusting that, as he always did, Cal would reveal himself again once it was safe, I headed toward my palace.
The closer I got to my residence—occupied only by Andrea’s watchers—the heavier my steps became.
Dragging my feet, I walked through the covered corridor.
The passage, supported by ornate railings and a decorative roof, shielded me from rain and sunlight, but the wind blew freely through it.
Pulling my collar tightly around myself, I grumbled inwardly.
If I’m already this cold in late summer, what am I supposed to do when winter comes?
To be fair, the Imperial Palace was located in the southern part of the Empire, where the climate was relatively warm.
I was simply unusually sensitive to the cold.
It’s because my body has become so weak.
With a quiet sigh, I rubbed my thin arm beneath my nightgown.
My wrists and forearms were nearly the same thickness.
Underneath the fabric, I was little more than skin and bones.
No wonder I can’t stand the cold.
After my mother died when I was seven, Andrea manipulated me day after day.
My feelings of self-loathing and helplessness only grew deeper.
I had neither the strength to take care of my own health nor anyone who genuinely worried about me.
I thought Andrea had been taking good care of me… but that wasn’t true.
After my mother’s death, Caballa—the Empress and Andrea’s mother—dismissed every servant who had once served my mother.
That included my nanny and maids who had cared for me since I was little.
She claimed they might pass on my mother’s influence to me.
Caballa immediately tried to recruit new maids and noble girls my age to become my attendants and companions.
Naturally, no one volunteered.
Now that Caballa had become the unquestioned mistress of the palace, who would dare serve the daughter of the former Empress while fearing her displeasure?
I was only a child.
Powerless.
Even if someone had volunteered, Caballa and Andrea would have found some excuse to drive them away.
They intended to fill my palace with people loyal only to them.
They probably hoped I’d grow weaker and simply die on my own.
Looking back now, I couldn’t believe how foolish I had been.
Why hadn’t I realized any of this in my previous life?
Why had I let myself be ruined exactly as they wanted?
“Your Highness!”
Lost in my thoughts, I heard one of the palace maids call out after finding me.
She must have been searching everywhere.
“Where have you been? We’ve been looking all over for you!”
“Why?”
“Because you suddenly disappeared! Do you know how many people you’ve inconvenienced?”
Then she noticed the coat draped over my shoulders.
“What’s with those clothes? And… what happened to your outfit? How did it get so dirty?”
Judging from her expression, she clearly didn’t know what had happened.
She couldn’t even imagine that I’d gone all the way to the banquet hall dressed like this.
She probably assumed I’d simply wandered outside.
I answered casually.
“I found this coat lying around. And I accidentally spilled a drink on myself.”
The maid frowned.
She looked horrified that I’d picked up discarded clothing.
“You can’t just wander off without telling anyone. It causes us trouble. And look at your clothes—what a mess. Why would you wear something someone threw away? That’s disgusting.”
Speaking sharply, she grabbed my wrist roughly and pulled me along.
Then, without the slightest hesitation, she stabbed another dagger into my heart.
“Hurry back. What if someone sees you? You’re not even in your right mind. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
The old me would have apologized for causing the maids trouble.
But I wasn’t that person anymore.
“Let go.”
My voice was cold and firm.
The maid glanced back at me in surprise.
Only for a moment.
She clicked her tongue, shook her head, and muttered under her breath,
“What’s gotten into you?”
It sounded like she was talking to herself, but it was clearly meant for me to hear.
She assumed I’d shrink back in fear and obediently follow her.
How unbelievably rude.
Andrea’s maids had never physically abused me.
Instead, they specialized in subtle bullying that no one but the victim would ever notice.
That certainly didn’t make it any less cruel.
Sometimes words cut deeper than blades.
A mischievous idea came to mind.
Putting on a worried expression, I addressed the maid who was still gripping my wrist.
“By the way…”
“What now?”
She looked back at me impatiently.
One of her cheeks was slightly swollen.
“You took a day off because of a toothache the other day, didn’t you?”
The maids often treated me like I wasn’t even there, chatting freely among themselves.
Because of that, I knew nearly everything about their personal lives.
“…So?”
“Did the treatment go well? Did they pull the tooth?”
“Why do you care?”
Leaning in as though I were genuinely concerned, I whispered,
“I heard something.”
“They say you shouldn’t eat undercooked seafood before your gums heal after having a tooth extracted.”
The maid absentmindedly rubbed her swollen cheek.
“Why not?”
“Someone once did that.”
“They started feeling terrible pain… and when they looked…”
I launched into one of the most horrifying ghost stories I knew.
Her face immediately turned deathly pale.
“N-No way…”
“Oh, and there’s another story.”
“Another?”
“Someone else had a terrible toothache, so they went to see a doctor…”
“W-What happened?”
“Their molars had spread from the roof of their mouth all the way down their throat…”
As I continued the increasingly grotesque tale, she swallowed hard, her face completely drained of color.
“Stop! Please stop! Just go back to your room!”
“Sorry.”
“But it’s better to know these things than not, right? Prevention is important.”
“Oh—and I heard another one…”
She couldn’t stop me.
She might intimidate me.
She might treat me with contempt.
But she couldn’t shut my mouth.
“Ahhh! Stop it! That’s disgusting!”
Finally, she released my wrist and clamped both hands over her ears.
Have fun with nightmares tonight.
I walked right beside her, cheerfully continuing every revolting story I could think of.
Once we returned to the palace, I began telling the other maids entirely fabricated stories about contagious and horrifying mouth diseases.
It didn’t take long before the maid who had recently had a tooth extracted became someone everyone avoided.
Among commoners, diseases of the mouth were terrifying.
Treatment was expensive.
I’d heard that many people couldn’t even afford to treat a simple cavity and eventually starved because they could no longer eat.
“Everyone should be careful.”
“I heard it can spread just from breathing near someone.”
“Oh my goodness…”
The maids cautiously stepped farther away from the unfortunate girl.
She protested desperately.
“No! It was only a cavity—”
One maid interrupted nervously.
“Um… could you cover your mouth while you talk?”
“Exactly. Better safe than sorry.”
Putting on my most sympathetic expression, I nodded sadly.
“Oh dear…”
“You’re right.”
“It doesn’t hurt to be careful.”
“You never know.”
“Y-You…!”
The poor maid glared at me with eyes full of resentment.
Everything was so different from my previous life.
Why hadn’t I ever done this before?
Why had I been so terrified of everyone’s opinions?
Why had I constantly watched every word and every action, policing myself over and over?
In the end…
Being hated felt like nothing more than receiving a few resentful stares.
Why had I spent my entire life shrinking away in fear of something so insignificant?
Living without worrying about being disliked…
…was actually kind of fun.
