MHLM 23

Chapter : 23

Shwaaa—

In that fountain, a stream of water rose against gravity and burst through the air, then split up as the water fell down again. Where the small drops fell, a brilliant ray of multi-colored illumination could be seen. It was a rainbow.

“……”

I stared blankly at that small rainbow. One side of my face was on Theodore’s chest, and my ear was right on top of his pounding heart. It was beating so loudly, as if in both bewilderment and fear.

I automatically tried to push him away, but it was a useless act of resistance.

“Lily… I’m sorry, I…”

Theodore trailed off, but even as he didn’t continue his words, I could guess what he was going to say. I don’t remember, I didn’t know. But it seemed like he couldn’t complete the sentence.

I was starting to feel nauseous again. Back when I tried to be close to him like this, he rejected me every time without fail. This repulsion was tinged with fear.

My heart sang when faced with his kindness, and yet I tried not to have any expectations.

It’s making me afraid.

I just wish that this futile emotion would just be killed completely. Don’t let even the smallest bud prosper from a planted seed.

I must let it wither away.

Raising a hand to push Theodore away, I used more strength this time, and he hesitated for a moment, but he slowly backed away from me. Even so, he was still holding my arms.

I struggled to shake off his touch, yet I would only stumble helplessly, and I’d end up in his arms again. So, I stood there wordlessly and took in a deep breath.

Hoping that I was in enough of a condition to walk alone, I stood still for a moment like that and organized my mind. I thought about what to say to him.

After some time, I managed to speak.

“To me… You, who did all that to me, yet can’t remember any of it. I can’t accept you.”

“……”

“You don’t remember anything, and yet you feel apologetic to me, and now you say that you’ll change. What’s the point of doing that? And… I don’t understand how it’s possible that you’ve changed so much just because you lost your memories…! You hated me. How was it possible to get rid of such a strong emotion?”

As I poured out the words breathlessly and faltered, Theodore held me firmly. As soon as his hand touched my cheek, I shook my head to avoid it. Theodore let out a low groan.

“Lily, what happened between us… There must have been some misunderstanding…”

“……?”

What he said made me laugh. It wasn’t a misunderstanding between us.

It was you who misunderstood me all by yourself.

“We can find out what that misunderstanding is and fix it.”

“…Do you know how absurd you sound right now? To fix a misunderstanding when you’ve lost any memory of it?”

“Maybe losing my memories is an opportunity to do so.”

The look in Theodore’s eyes grew serious. He took my hand and clasped it tightly. At that moment, I froze in place as though I could feel a beast’s fangs closing in on my neck. The atmosphere around him was strange.

“The day I injured my head and lost my memories, when I first saw you while I was in the infirmary—that feeling… It was definitely ardent love towards you.”

“…I don’t want to hear this.”

“No, please, listen. I’m absolutely certain that this was the only emotion I could feel. But there must have been some misunderstanding that I don’t remember which weighed down on that affection.”

“What kind of ridiculous…”

It was so preposterous that I was overcome with the urge to shed tears once more. Whatever spilled out of his lips was absolute nonsense.

Ardent love? I felt none of the sort. He cut me off whenever he pleased and refused to hear anything I had to say.

In the end, there was no one who could save me. The moment I realized that no matter how much I struggled, my situation would not change. I would always be nothing more than House Everett’s property.

And with this, I completely extinguished the singular spark of hope I had left.

Ever since then—ever since I gave up—I lived like the dead.

The only thing left in my future was to divorce Theodore and fall into Lennon’s hands.

When that moment comes, my fear of death might be completely swallowed up by the overwhelming loss of motivation to live any longer.

I might finally be able to end my own life.

However, Charlotte was still there, hoping that I would choose a different future. She told me how she wanted me to run away from all this, from both Valentino and Everett.

’Let’s just run away, Madam. Let’s go somewhere no one will know us. If we ride a ship and go to the eastern continent, we’ll be able to find a place to hide. You can become a different person, Madam, and continue living there. I’ll help you. I’ll be by your side forever.’

I wonder if I really should do that.

But back when I entertained the thought, Theodore’s power through his elemental spirit had become stronger, and House Valentino had just begun to recover. What if Everett would use my disappearance to dig into Valentino again?

And I was worried that Charlotte would have a difficult time because of me. If it weren’t for that, I might have really run away…

“…What if your memories come back before you can even find out what that misunderstanding is?”

“It doesn’t matter. It will turn out well. We can work through that misunderstanding.”

“And what if you forget about the time now, while you don’t have your memories?”

At my question, Theodore paused. He was caught by surprise, however he soon tried to answer.

“That kind of assumption—”

“And what if only misunderstandings are left between us again?”

“……”

“Just… Just give up. All this talk, it’s no use at all. There’s nothing that could be done anyway.”

“Lily.”

Theodore caught me again. Staggering backwards, I tried listlessly to move my head away as he was holding my cheek. I don’t want to have any false hope any longer.

“I’m… I’m tired. Right, I think I’m tired now…”

“……”

“I know what kind of future lies ahead of me, but I can’t fight back anymore… So just, I don’t want to do anything now. I don’t want to have to struggle just to survive, not anymore…”

Without any strength left in my body, I collapsed to the ground at that spot. My emotions had plummeted sharply, and the resentment I held against him so strongly just a while ago seemed to have vanished.

Resentment… Mistrust… What’s the point of all that? In the end… No matter what it was, I can’t feel anything anymore.

I could feel Theodore’s gaze as he looked at me from above. I wanted him to just leave me here, but he continued to act against my will. He carried me gently in his embrace, carefully wrapping his arms around me.

With my hands over my face, I closed my eyes.

Don’t let me hear. Don’t let me see.

Don’t let me hope.

I’ve had enough of both hope and despair.

“…I’ll try, Lily.”

“……”

“So that you can trust me completely one day.”

After saying so with a hushed voice, Theodore began to walk forward.

His words sounded empty to me.

Something like trust.

It’s all useless now.

* * *

The next afternoon, I heard that a few servants had gotten fired. Charlotte knew every single one of them.

“They were the ones who instigated the harassment towards you, Madam.”

Charlotte huffed in anger. She also told me that all the other people who participated in speaking of bad rumors about me and who acted poorly towards me were disciplined. …Of course, this was all Theodore’s work.

I inwardly clicked my tongue. They were the ones I’d already been planning to clear up in the near future. Theodore did nothing but a belated, useless act, and it was the gust of wind that toppled the once elaborately built tower I had.

“Those hateful people. I was determined to pay them back one day. It serves them right that they got fired, but it’s a shame. I wanted to get revenge on them myself.”

Charlotte was rather belligerent about this. If she had worked as a mercenary or knight instead of a maid, she might have really gone around to do exactly what she wanted.

“Anyway… The task that you asked me about last time, Madam. I looked into it, but…”

My hands had been busy with embroidery until now, but they stopped as I heard her say this. I looked directly at Charlotte, who looked around to see if anyone was there, even if there was no one, then she continued speaking.

“Young Master Hessen seems to be acting unusually these days. There were some people who saw weapon dealers come and go into his villa.”

“And Owen?”

“Ah, right. Young Master Owen… He seems to have recruited a mage recently. But I heard that the time this mage came under Young Master Owen’s command…”

Charlotte dropped the volume of her voice, then spoke with a quiet voice.

“It overlaps with the time when Duke Valentino, had hurt his head. It’s that… I believe it was a week before His Grace went to battle that the mage was recruited by Young Master Owen.”

“……”

I put the embroidery ring aside and thought for a moment. I looked into the matter just in case, but… As expected, House Everett was moving suspiciously.

I mean, from the very beginning, it’s strange how some head injury caused partial memory loss like that. And it continued to persist for this long…

“Um, Madam… I can’t help but wonder if His Grace’s amnesia had been aimed to affect you… That’s also one of your suspicions, right?”

Charlotte asked cautiously. Instead of answering verbally, I nodded. …House Everett wouldn’t allow House Valentino to regain its former power and glory. I’m sure they’re pulling the strings behind the scenes. Maybe they already did something by now.

‘Was the original plan to turn Theodore into a complete fool?’

Or maybe they were supposed to make Theodore forget a secret that he wasn’t supposed to know…

Whatever it was, Theodore’s partial memory loss was suspicious. And the demons of House Everett were the most likely culprits in this. They had both the power and capability to make this all happen.

‘I need to look into how Theodore hurt his head. Maybe I should find the records from that time…’

“……”

I’m going to have to meet the knight commander. All military records were under his jurisdiction.

But the problem was that I didn’t know him at all.

Of course, there was no such thing as a good working relationship between us… Since I’m just a powerless duchess who’s been treated as a scarecrow…

“Ah, maybe I should stop…”

“Madam?”

“It’s just… I wonder if this has any meaning. I want to know.”

I felt a familiar surge of lethargy. I lay down on the sofa, letting all the strength in my body leave as I relaxed completely.

However, at that moment, I heard someone knocking on the door.

I don’t know who that is, but they were incredibly tactless.

When I glanced over to Charlotte, she walked closer to the doorway to check who it was.

“Who is it? Right now, the Madam is… resting.”

“I’m Albert, an attendant. I was told to relay that…”

Still lying on the sofa with my eyes closed, it took a while before Charlotte came back from the door. She shook me slightly and asked with a soft voice.

“Madam? Are you sleeping?”

“…No.”

It’s not time to sleep yet, I added as I sat up weakly. Charlotte looked at me with worried eyes as she whispered.

“Madam… There is a guest. Missus Seymour is out of the mansion right now, so it seems like you’ll have to go out to meet the guest…”

“Who is it?”

“Um, it’s… Lady Adeline of the Alvinith Duchy…”

“…Adeline Alvinith?”

I was still for a moment, but I soon laughed in derision.

I can see through her intentions clearly.

‘You’re here to see if the rumors are true.’

That woman, too, was no saint.