EURL CH 05

Chapter 5

I didn’t even properly understand the complicated power struggle, and because of that, I ended up being disliked by quite a few people in the Imperial Palace.

At the time, it felt like everyone was trying to interfere with my love. But when I came to my senses and thought about it calmly, it was only natural.

The daughter of the old noble faction’s leader clinging to the Crown Prince who led the new noble faction—it must have been troublesome for both sides.

The old nobles, Father’s faction, scolded me.
The new nobles, Rubellus’s faction, mocked me and told me to know my place.

In the midst of all that, the only person who pitied and protected me when even the Crown Prince turned away was Her Majesty the Empress. Ah… should I call her the Empress Dowager now?

Thinking about it now makes me a little sad. How frustrated must Father have been with this foolish youngest daughter?

A girl with her head full of flowers, saying that everything would be solved if she married Rubellus.

“I should’ve come to my senses sooner.”

“Was that even possible?”

When I muttered to myself while staring into the air, Reni, who was resting her chin on the open window frame, looked at me and asked. Her gray eyes were fixed on me.

She already knew the truth.

Her instincts really were terrifying.

I gave a bitter smile and shook my head.

“…No. It wasn’t.”

I have many regrets, but when I think back on that time, I can’t help feeling it couldn’t be helped.

Even I know how deeply in love I was.

Yes, I was immature—but it was still love.

“…If there were a national competition for Most Embarrassing Past, wouldn’t I win first place?”

“Not just first. You’d get a grand prize.”

“Ha ha.”

I forced a laugh and leaned my head fully against the carriage seat.

Until I turned sixteen, my favorite phrase was, “When I turn sixteen.”

When I turn sixteen. When I become an adult. When my sixteenth birthday comes. When the day of my debutante ball arrives.

Whenever things were hard, I repeated those words like a spell.

I believed that once I turned sixteen, I wouldn’t have to worry about anything anymore. That His Highness, who had been so cold, would smile at me like a flower blooming again.

I believed that everyone who ignored me would acknowledge my abilities. That everyone would reconcile just as I wished.

The ending of my dream was always the same: surrounded by everyone’s congratulations, sweetly kissing Prince Rubellus.

Reality was different.

I believed I was the future Crown Princess, but in truth I was nothing more than a foolish young noble lady.

A stupid girl clinging to the Crown Prince without even realizing her father’s declining influence.

…And perhaps that was exactly how the Crown Prince saw me too.

On top of that, didn’t I end everything in the most humiliating way possible? That… trespassing into the Imperial Palace.

Damn it. Being back here makes the emotions I thought I’d buried start to creep up again.

I really thought I would never return. I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration.

“I really should’ve hidden something prohibited on me.”

“And as I said before, it’s already too late.”

Reni looked at me gently and pointed out the window.

“We’re almost at the main palace.”

I couldn’t hide my blank expression as I stared at the golden roof and cream-colored palace beyond the window.

If someone asked how I felt right now, I could sum it up in three words.

Ah… I’m doomed.

***

A deep crimson carpet, unique to the imperial family, covered the long staircase leading up to the main palace.

Imperial attendants waiting below hurried to each arriving carriage, opening doors and placing stepping stools.

The nobles stepped down and began climbing the stairs.

It was finally our turn. The carriage door opened, and an attendant placed a stepping stool for us.

The coachman showed our invitation. Another attendant bowed deeply.

“Viscount Delion of the House of Delion, Lady Wildenbiston of the House of Wildenbiston. Your invitations have been confirmed. Welcome to the palace.”

The future Count Delion, holding a courtesy title one rank below her father’s, flashed me a grin and stepped down boldly, gathering her skirts.

I, however, was still hesitating inside the carriage.

I really didn’t want to get out.

Do I truly have to go?

“Hey, what are you doing? Get down. The carriages behind us are waiting, Aira!”

“I’m going, I’m going.”

She had no idea how I felt. Look at her, the confident heir of House Delion, urging me on. Easy for her to say. She has nothing to fear.

I let out a long sigh and slowly crawled out of the carriage like some swamp creature. The moment I stepped onto the stool, the carriage door shut behind me and it rolled away.

My escape route was cut off.

With troubled eyes, I looked up at the stairs before me. The famous Fifty-Six Steps.

No matter their rank, every noble and attendant had to climb these steps on their own feet to enter the palace.

This used to be one of my favorite places in the palace.

Because of a romantic story.

It was the story of the first Empress of Jahard, Silla Devant.

She had been the illegitimate daughter of a minor noble family. One day, she secretly attended a palace ball without her family’s knowledge. When she was discovered and fled, she dropped her glass slipper here on these very steps.

The first Emperor of Jahard, who fell in love with her, turned the entire empire upside down with that single slipper—and eventually found her and married her.

A perfect love story.

I used to replay that story in my mind over and over.

I firmly believed that someday, I too would climb these steps with the one I loved.

I stood at the base of the stairs for a long time.

The strength drained from my shoulders.

Aira. You still haven’t come to your senses, have you?

Even as I scolded myself, I truly didn’t have the courage to climb those steps.

I didn’t want to go up there.

I thought I had finally forgotten him. I thought I could forget him.

But it seemed I hadn’t forgotten deeply enough to face the shadow of my past without shaking.

I just wanted to run away.

Run away right now…

…Wait.

I subtly looked around.

Countless nobles who had stepped down from their carriages were slowly climbing the stairs. Reni was nowhere in sight.

Bianca, Elphine, Mother, Father—they must have already gone inside.

“Hm.”

I pursed my lips and raised one eyebrow.

The attendants were busy. No one paid me any attention.

If I disappeared now, no one would notice.

The carriage was gone… but was there truly no escape route left?

A grin spread across my face.

A very good idea had just occurred to me.

***

It takes about five minutes by carriage to reach the Great Imperial Forest from the palace. From the outside, it looks quite far.

But in truth, it’s less than a two-minute walk.

The reason carriages take longer is because the road was built in a winding route around the forest to ensure wide access.

Not many people knew this. In fact, only a select few did.

For example, the imperial family.

In emergencies, escape routes from the palace always passed through the Great Imperial Forest.

The reason I, who was not royalty, knew this was simple.

Rubellus told me.

As I mentioned before, when I was four, I got lost in the forest after wandering the palace.

After rescuing me, Rubellus would hold my hand and teach me the paths whenever I got lost around here.

Yes… there was a time when he was kind.

Up until I was ten.

After that, he became cold, as if that kindness had never existed.

“He was really kind back then.”

That’s why a foolish child like me misunderstood. I thought Rubellus liked me too.

No—Prince Rubellus… no, soon to be Emperor Rubellus.

I slowly descended the Fifty-Six Steps and slipped into the crowd, walking at a steady pace.

No one paid attention to me.

Had the scandal from three years ago already been forgotten? I wasn’t sure if that was a relief or not.

From here on, it was easy. I could find the way with my eyes closed.

Follow the left wall, circle around to the back, cross the lawn and the grand garden… and from the third pathway, the Great Imperial Forest began.

As the fresh scent of the forest filled my nose again, I couldn’t help but smile.

“This is it.”

It had been three years, but my sense of direction hadn’t dulled.

Satisfied, I gathered my dress firmly and strode into the forest.

Thankfully, I had stubbornly insisted on wearing low heels today. They were still strapped at the ankle, not ideal for walking long distances, but…

“I won’t be walking that long anyway.”

I muttered to myself and continued deeper into the woods.

My plan was simple.

Hide in the Great Imperial Forest until the coronation ended. Once it was over, I would reappear at the landing and leave with my family as if nothing had happened.

A perfect plan to skip out, wasn’t it?

I had always been good at this—hiding so well that no one noticed. It was a surprisingly useful talent at times like this.

Besides, I had plenty of experience skipping out around the palace before. In this forest, I even knew several hidden spots where I could rest in a dress.

In some of those places, I had even hidden folding stools inside tree stumps, along with handkerchiefs.

“…Though I probably can’t use those.”

I sighed.

It had been three years.

The folding stools were likely rusted, and the handkerchiefs torn by squirrels or ruined by rain.

As I considered where to go, one place came to mind.

There was one spot I had loved more than any other in this vast forest.

But that place was…

Where I first met Rubellus.

Go, or don’t go.

I frowned as I hesitated.

The very reason I loved that spot was because of him. Shouldn’t I avoid it then?