Chapter 17
“There’s No Grandfather Who Won’t Yield After Ten Tries”
“So you thought I’d give up? Absolutely not.”
More stubborn than yesterday, I rubbed my sleepy eyes and forced them open.
I had stayed up late, replaying my conversation with Tesmilion over and over again. Because of that, I overslept and missed the time he usually came out of his bedroom.
But it didn’t matter. By now, I knew Tesmilion’s morning routine perfectly.
“Then he should be in the garden around now, right?”
I walked through the unlit corridors of the mansion and headed to the garden.
But the spot where I always saw his back was empty.
I brushed my hand over the vacant bench.
“That’s strange… He’s never broken his routine before.”
Feeling puzzled, I headed to the study. There were only three places Tesmilion ever went.
The study door was tightly shut, but bright light leaked through the gap.
As expected, he was inside.
What should I do? He’ll hate it if I go in…
But after arguing with him so fiercely yesterday, wouldn’t barging in today make him hate me even more?
I hesitated, wondering whether to knock. Just as I finally gathered my resolve and raised my hand—
“Come in.”
What? It’s like he knew I was here.
He didn’t install CCTV or something, did he?
I glanced around awkwardly before pushing the door open nervously.
It was my first time entering since the day I was called here when Rodrio was badly injured.
“I’m sure I told you not to follow me around anymore.”
“I wasn’t following you. You told me to come in first.”
“Didn’t you go all the way to the garden looking for me?”
At his words, I looked toward the large window in the study.
The garden was clearly visible.
That meant he had seen everything—me going to the bench and coming back.
“Well… about that…”
“As you said, I’m not someone with responsibility or affection. So what you’re hoping for won’t happen. Go back.”
“No.”
Instead, I took a bold step closer to Tesmilion.
“Actually, I came to talk about something else today. It’s a personal concern, and I’d like you, as the head of the household, to listen.”
Tesmilion opened his book as if he had no intention of listening, regardless of what I said.
Still, at least he wasn’t immediately telling me to get out.
“I miss my family very much.”
The hand that had been turning the page paused.
“If you miss them, then don’t tell me—go meet them.”
“I can’t. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see them again.”
I clasped my fingers together, fidgeting. Talking about something I had buried deep in my heart felt awkward and embarrassing.
“Have they passed away?”
“…Something like that.”
I’m the one who died—but the situation is the same.
“And even if I had the chance to meet them again… I don’t think I would go. They’d be happier without me. They suffered so much because of me, and…”
I had seen it clearly—how hospital bills ruined the family, how even love slowly faded.
“That’s not true.”
His tone was calm.
“No, it is. I was sick for a long time. I had to lie in bed for years. At first, my whole family comforted me. They said it was okay, that I’d get better soon, that I shouldn’t worry. They said they loved me.”
My head slowly lowered as I recalled those moments—ones that felt both distant and like yesterday.
They were painful memories, but no tears came.
“But at some point, no one said those things anymore. They still took care of me, but they stopped gently stroking my face with affection. They were too exhausted to have room for love. I understand. Even if their love had worn away… even if they had started wishing I would just disappear…”
“No. They just couldn’t say it—but they still loved you.”
I lifted my head and looked at Tesmilion.
He raised his eyes from the book and met mine.
“…Really?”
“I can’t speak for all parents, but if it were me, that’s how it would be. What parent would ever wish for their child to disappear?”
As he said that, Tesmilion looked as weary as someone who had lived for hundreds of years.
“Do you think so? I’m not sure. But if what you say is true… I wish they had told me they loved me just one more time.”
“You know… something like, ‘I love you, my daughter. Don’t worry about anything. We’re happy just having you with us. It’s hard, but it’s still better than not having you at all.’”
I stopped speaking for a moment.
Saying the words I had longed to hear with my own mouth felt strange.
It was as if a small stone had dropped into the depths of my heart, sending ripples outward.
“It sounds childish… and maybe it’s just words… but still, I think I would have been a little happier if they had said it.”
Tesmilion said nothing.
He seemed lost in thought.
I blankly stared at the brightening sky behind him.
Now, those things were nothing more than distant memories.
“Spending a long time lying there alone… thinking it would be better to disappear than to live without being loved, than to make everyone suffer… it’s harder than it sounds.”
“Are you not in pain now?”
“Huh? Oh! I’m not in pain. I was given a miraculous chance. A chance to live normally without being sick. So I’m trying my best to live.”
Realizing he was asking about my illness, I smiled brightly.
“But, Head of the House… don’t you think Rodrio might have felt the same way I did back then?”
“So that’s what you were getting at.”
“Haha… but none of what I said was a lie. I meant every word.”
“Why are you working so hard on something that has nothing to do with you?”
“No. This is for Rodrio—but it’s also for my past self. Just like you act cold toward Rodrio but still love him… I think I wanted confirmation that I was loved too.”
I blinked.
Tears, which I thought had long dried up, threatened to spill out—but the timing didn’t feel right.
So I smiled again.
“And… I really like Rodrio. So I don’t want him to suffer like I did.”
“But I…”
Tesmilion trailed off.
I quietly waited.
The ticking of the old clock echoed in the silence.
After a long pause, Tesmilion finally spoke.
“It was the day of the rebellion. Blood—my children’s blood—was everywhere. And yet, I survived. Unfortunately.”
His pain was palpable. Even in the novel, the rebellion had been described as brutal.
“When I found my daughter—the queen—she was already half dead. She was close to giving birth, so she couldn’t fight properly. When she saw me… she cut open her own stomach and begged me to save the baby.”
I covered my mouth.
I had no idea this had happened.
The novel had only mentioned that a blue-eyed white tiger had appeared out of nowhere.
“How could I do that? If it were you, could you cut open your still-living daughter to take out the child? But I did it. I couldn’t ignore her final wish. The child I saved that way… is Rodrio Atigrado.”
My chest tightened.
“Whenever I see that child, I remember that moment. The moment my daughter died by my own hands. That’s why… I hate him.”
“But… Rodrio did nothing wrong.”
“I know. I know it’s not his fault. But I am weak. It pains me to look at him.”
“Then… should I go with you?”
“What?”
“If you don’t have the courage, I’ll go with you. Well… I can even hold your hand.”
His stunned expression soon turned into a smile.
It was the first time I had ever seen Tesmilion smile.
“My daughter was nothing like you. She was tall and incredibly strong—a true warrior. But if there’s one thing you share… it’s that unyielding gaze.”
“That’s a compliment, right? Thank you.”
Tesmilion’s face hardened.
“It’s not a compliment. It means you stubbornly refuse to listen.”
I burst into laughter.
The next day, Tesmilion went to see Rodrio.
Of course, he was still very stiff.
“You’re awake.”
“Yes…”
“Well done.”
That was the end of their conversation.
Still, the fact that he came at all was a huge improvement.
I gave Tesmilion a thumbs-up.
He frowned in response and immediately retreated back to the study.
“I’m here…”
As I stepped into Idrish’s room, I awkwardly came to a stop.
Unlike usual, the room was quiet.
Sunlight filled the space, warming the air, and Idrish lay in the brightest spot, eyes closed.
“Are you sleeping?”
My voice sounded unfamiliar in the silence.
As if he heard me, his eyes opened slightly.
They shifted lazily before settling on me—then closed again.
“Aren’t we lifting the curse? You called me here just to sleep?”
I grumbled awkwardly.
Idrish slowly flicked his fingers, gesturing for me to come closer.
I approached him. The sunlight poured over me, making me squint. I raised my hand to shield my eyes.
Of course he placed the bed where the sun hits best. Typical feline.
Idrish wasn’t wearing a shirt.
“So I just do it like this? Seriously… you’re going to nap while making me do all the work…”
A faint smile tugged at his lips—clearly a yes.
“Then I’m really doing it. Don’t accuse me later of touching you while you were asleep.”
Muttering to myself, I sat beside him.
Maybe because he was asleep, I felt twice as nervous as usual.
What am I nervous for? This is work. Just like a nurse checking a patient’s blood pressure—something I do every day.
I reached out and placed my hand on his firm chest.
His skin was warm.
“…Isn’t it hot?”
I asked carefully.
