Chapter 20
“Do I just sit still like this?”
Anita asked in a casual tone. She didn’t want to reveal what she really thought about the painting or how she felt about this situation. If she acted like it was nothing, then maybe it would become nothing.
“Yeah.”
And so, Anita sat across from Rutger with just an easel between them. Picking up one of the tools, Rutger began to draw on the canvas and spoke.
“By the way. On the way here, I saw that weird guy nearby. What’s your relationship with him?”
He must have meant Edmund. Since coming here, he was the only one Anita had even vaguely gotten close to. She thought he had disappeared, but it seemed he was still hanging around nearby.
In situations like this, it might make sense to say there was some emotional exchange to stir jealousy. But Anita didn’t want to go that far. Besides, there really was nothing between her and Edmund. They hadn’t even known each other for long, and she still had no idea what he even did.
“There’s nothing going on between us.”
“That’s just your conclusion. You don’t know what he’s thinking.”
“So what kind of answer do you want, then?”
Anita tossed the question back casually. She really had no idea what Rutger was thinking. If it was just about interest or jealousy, that would be easier to handle. But she knew better than anyone that his feelings toward her were more complicated than that. Or maybe they weren’t even feelings—just something shallow and insignificant.
Maybe it was possessiveness without affection.
“Would you give me the answer I want?”
His brow furrowed slightly over the top of the canvas. When Anita stared at him intently, it smoothed back out.
“……”
Anita was already familiar with this kind of rudeness from him. She never once asked him what exactly was going on between him and Liliana.
If it had been the old Anita—more naïve and foolish—she might’ve excitedly mistaken his attention for something romantic.
Despite having been fooled by him so many times, she had almost fallen for it again earlier.
Steadying her wandering thoughts, Anita composed herself and answered with a blank expression.
“Forget it. Pretend I didn’t say anything.”
“Pretend you didn’t say anything?”
With that, he stood up. When they’d been seated, their eye level had been about the same, but now that he rose, Anita instinctively leaned back. Rutger paid no mind and strode toward her.
“W-what are you doing…”
His long fingers reached near her ear. Startled by the sudden contact, Anita flinched.
He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. The warmth of his hand traveled down the curve of her ear and traced along her jawline. As his hand moved up along her jaw, it suddenly stopped.
With a mischievous smile, his fingers gently tilted her chin upward. Now forced to look up at him, Anita frowned in confusion.
“Keep your chin at this angle.”
“……”
When Anita lifted her chin slightly, Rutger smiled, as if satisfied. Just before his fingers left her skin, their eyes met for a brief moment.
“Perfect.”
His gaze lingered on her face for a second longer before shifting away. Then, without hesitation, he turned back to the canvas.
And just like that, Anita sat there, unmoving like a statue, for two whole hours. Every time her back stiffened or her hair kept falling, and she tried to shift even slightly, a soft, coaxing voice would come, like calming a child.
But what really kept Anita pinned to that chair wasn’t his gentle voice—it was his eyes. Eyes stripped of all mischief, serious and unfamiliar. Piercing, as if analyzing her, but also weighted with sincerity.
Should she have agreed to model for him so easily?
It was too late for regrets. Rutger was the kind of person who, once he had a vision in mind, wouldn’t let her go until he was satisfied with his work.
Anita couldn’t help but reflect on how she even got into this situation. She had come to deliver some papers for Professor Evan. Then Edmund had seen Liliana and bolted.
If Edmund was telling the truth and Liliana was obsessed with him… did that mean Rutger and she weren’t actually involved?
She didn’t know.
Exhausted, Anita closed her eyes without realizing.
She remembered making it to the studio, but anything after that—what she talked about with Rutger, what happened—was already fading. It wasn’t like she usually had memory lapses.
The scent of plaster statues and the peaceful, frozen air in the room. How long had she been like that?
Anita slowly opened her eyes. By now, Rutger should be nagging her to wake up. Was he not calling her name because he hadn’t noticed?
“…!”
As soon as she opened her eyes, she found Rutger staring right at her. Startled, Anita jerked back. Losing her balance on the backless chair, she nearly toppled over, but Rutger quickly reached out and grabbed her arm.
“You okay?”
“Y-yeah. I’m fine.”
“Are you really fine? You passed out that other time, remember?”
The topic she never wanted to revisit came up again. Anita wanted to erase that day entirely, pretend it had never happened. She wanted to bury it.
A moment of lost consciousness, a kiss, something about his ex.
“Let’s stop here for today.”
“Let’s just call it a day. With the painting.”
If she left things vague now, she’d probably end up back in this same seat another day.
“It won’t be finished today anyway. But I’ll give you something instead.”
“…Give me what?”
Anita blinked blankly, then her eyes sharpened with sudden clarity.
“I should at least pay you for modeling.”
“No need.”
“Give me your hand.”
He was so insistent that Anita, pouting slightly, held out her right hand.
“Not your right—your left.”
