Chapter 8
The Reason for Marriage (8)
He apologized so plainly that Edith couldnât stay upset any longer.
âYes, Iâm fine now. Please continue.â
Grayson nodded once before speaking.
âAfter the first week, you and I will coordinate our schedules and decide which days weâll share a bedroom. After living that way for about half a year, it would be good for us to have a child.â
âA childâŚâ
She hadnât thought that far ahead, so Edith didnât know how to answer.
Even if it was a political marriage, marriage was marriage; having a child was natural.
Noâbecause it was a political marriage, she had to have a child who would carry on the family line.
But she had never imagined Grayson would want a child with her.
Sensing her confusion, Grayson asked,
âIs there a problem with having a child?â
âIt just seems strange. Isnât Your Grace planning to maintain this marriage only until the power struggle between His Highness the Crown Prince and the Duke of Lachent is resolved?â
âCorrect.â
âThen why would you want a child with me? Wouldnât it be better to divorce later and have a child with a woman from a more suitable family?â
âHmm.â
With a look of mild amusement, Grayson narrowed his eyes and observed her for a long moment before answering.
âI donât know whether Iâll remarry. But I do need a child. If a child born from a deranged woman is established as the young heir, no one will bother paying attention to House Myers.â
A child born from a deranged woman.
Those words tightened around Edithâs throat.
She knew why he had accepted this marriage and what he thought of her.
For him, marriage was nothing more than a toolâsomething to reassure the king, his brothers, and the people. Of course he would see Edith Reynolds as nothing but an obstacle that forced him into an unwanted marriage.
Of course. Of course he would.
âBut stillâŚâ
âIâm a person too.â
âYouâre being cruel.â
âI have feelings too.â
Even knowing she was a disposable piece, there were still words she didnât want to hear.
She had decided she would gladly endure anything if it meant escaping the marquisate, but there were treatments even she struggled to accept.
Edith clenched her skirt tight, fighting back tears as she glared at Grayson.
âDoes this kind of talk hurt you?â
âVery much.â
âI apologize. Iâll be more careful from now on.â
âYes, please do.â
âIf  you donât mind, Iâd like to explain myself a bit.â
ââŚGo ahead.â
âI didnât mean that I see a child born between us that way. I meant that others would see it that way.â
âYes, I understand.â
But even after hearing his excuse, the emotions rising in her chest would not easily settle.
A child born from a deranged woman.
A child who didnât even exist yetâone she had never even imaginedâand the thought that her child might be treated like that because of her was horrifying.
âI will never have a child.â
Edith made up her mind.
âWhether I can or canât, this marriage will not last a lifetime. I only need to achieve my purpose. Iâll finish what I must as fast as possible and divorce him.â
She would find a way not to conceive.
Whether by medicine or by damaging her health, she would never allow this body to bear a child.
A child with a mother like her would be pitiful.
A child with a father like him would also be pitiful.
As Edith repeated her resolve again and again, Grayson watched her silently before letting out a short sigh.
âLady Reynolds.â
âYes.â
âDo I need to apologize more for you to feel better?â
At the irritation in his voice, Edith closed her eyes tightly, then opened them again.
âNo. Itâs fine. Thatâs not the kind of relationship we have, is it? Soâwhat else do I need to do?â
Her tone was sharper than before, and Grayson swallowed a sigh.
***
When Edith, eyes reddened, said he spoke terribly, he realized he had made a mistake.
He had only stated the objective reality, unaware that it would wound her.
Seeing her force her eyes open to keep the tears from falling made him feel unexpectedly sorry, and he apologized before thinking. Grayson had never said âsorryâ to another person in his life, yet in just a few hours of meeting Edith, he had said it three times.
Even so, she didnât seem to feel any better.
He then noticed that at some point, his index finger had begun tapping against his thigh.
He stopped, gently curled his hand into a fist, and spoke.
âAs the future duchess, youâll be invited to various events. You donât need to attend all of them, but do attend the important ones.â
âYes. And?â
âThatâs all.â
âThereâs nothing else? Nothing about maintaining dignity as a duchess, or behaving properly?â
âI donât expect those things from you.â
âOh, really.â
Edith let out a small laugh.
For some reason, her smile felt almost mocking, leaving him unsettled.
âDid I say something wrong again?â
He replayed his words, but there was nothing objectionable in them.
What reason was there to dislike being told she could live however she wished?
Edith stared quietly at the uneaten dishes before her, then spoke.
âThen what am I allowed to do as the duchess?â
âWhat do you want to do?â
âHost parties, buy all the clothes I want, meet people⌠Just the usual things a duchess does. Am I allowed?â
Grayson tilted his head slightly, his pale blond hair slipping to the side with the movement.
âYouâre asking something obvious. If you fulfill your duties as the duchess, then of course you may enjoy the privileges as well.â
âBy duties⌠you mean what you just listed?â
Grayson gave a small nod.
âYour expectations arenât as strict as I thought.â
âYou wish they were stricter?â
âOf course not.â
Edith answered quickly.
Aside from having a child, the rest were simply natural responsibilities of a wife.
And since he didnât even expect the dignity of a duchess from her, it couldnât have been easier.
âIt seems the reputation of being a deranged woman isnât entirely bad.â
It appeared Grayson intended to take Edithâs supposed âmadnessâ as part of the bargain.
If so, that was a relief.
She wouldnât be cast aside just for acting a little out of line.
âIâll do my best to fulfill my duties, Your Grace. So please donât forget your promise to guarantee my rights.â
âOf course I will, Lady Reynolds.â
***
After the play and tea time, Grayson completed every item on their schedule perfectly and escorted Edith back to the Reynolds marquisate.
When they arrived at the front gate, he stepped down from the carriage first and offered his hand to her.
Anyone watching would think they were the picture of a âperfect coupleâ.
Edith placed her hand in his and stepped down.
The lamplight beside the gate spilled over his hair, sliding across it like liquid gold.
Shadows deepened along his face where the light passed.
The light caught at the tips of his long lashes, making them sparkleâso much so that Edith momentarily lost herself, staring up at him.
A faint smile appeared at the corner of his lips.
âLady Reynolds.â
The low voice snapped her back to herself.
Embarrassed that she had let herself be mesmerized by his looks, she blinked quickly.
âNext time we meet, letâs call each other by name.â
âBy⌠name?â
Wasnât that far too soon?
Of course, she didnât want to keep hearing him call her âLady Reynolds.â
The idea of being tied to that surname was suffocating.
It was just that she couldnât quite imagine herself calling him by his name.
Grayson. Grayson.
She mouthed it silently, and as she did, his face leaned closer.
Slowly, his cheek brushed hers as he passed, stopping beside her ear.
âSleep well. I enjoyed today. Very much.â
When his warm breath slipped secretly across her earlobe, Edith froze.
Just as slowly as he had leaned in, he straightened back up, looked down at her with another soft smile, and turned with graceful ease to step into the carriage.
It was only after the carriage began to move that Edith could breathe again.
âOh my gosh. Wowâoh my gosh.â
Her heart pounded wildly from his unexpected gesture.
The breath that had tickled her earlobe and his deep, low voice still clung to her skin, making Edith rub her ear with her fingers.
The strange sensationâwarm, tingling, unfamiliarârefused to fade, and so Edith remained under the lamplight, rubbing her ear for a long while until the carriage was completely out of sight.