SMLYSI 10

Chapter 10

I chuckled mischievously, like a girl watching leaves fluttering in the wind.+

“It was a joke, a joke!”+

“Is that so?”+

His serious expression softened.+

“Yes. Back then, everything just felt unbearable. I realized how awful it was—constantly running around seeking people’s affection, forcing myself to attend social gatherings I didn’t want to go to.”+

Foolish Julietta, weary from loneliness, wandered from place to place. Wherever someone would welcome me, I went without hesitation, clinging to noble young ladies here and there, forming circles just to fill the emptiness.+

“But then, when I actually stayed quietly at home? It got incredibly boring. So I tried out various hobbies and started spending time with the servants, sticking close to the household I hadn’t really bonded with before.”+

But it seemed I couldn’t fill my loneliness and emptiness the way Julietta did either. After all, I ended up asking the man beside me to become my friend.+

“Though I guess I was lonely too. I thought it was about time to end my reclusive life, so I tried arranged meetings, and after failing at all of them, I even considered going on a trip. And then, right on cue, Yezar showed up.”+

“So you’re saying you told me that if we divorced, you’d travel around and make new friends?”+

“I’m sorry. I must’ve been quite drunk at the time.”+

Normally, I wouldn’t have said something like that. But when drunk, I get cheerful and speak without filtering.+

“You’re not denying it, then?”+

Regardless of whether I was sorry or not, it was still the truth, so I avoided his gaze in response to his question. I had said that if we divorced, we’d become strangers, no longer able to interact as friends. But now, thinking back, perhaps he felt hurt by my saying I’d make friends with others instead.+

Yet Yezar replied lightly.+

“I understand. You said we’d be strangers after divorce. How could I possibly force my opinion on you?”+

He shrugged and smiled. I knew he was deliberately lightening the mood, so I smiled back.+

“Still, for now, I’ll do my best to act as the Duchess of Ferhaem.”+

“And I will do the same. I’ll do my utmost as a husband to serve my wife.”+

Seeing him being so courteous made me laugh involuntarily. I truly liked this kindness of his—the way he didn’t insist on pride in front of me, the way he cared for me and gently eased the atmosphere.+

“This is more than enough, isn’t it? Anyway, that’s all I really have to say. Boring, right?”+

Even this dull, uneventful story had been listened to patiently. All of it was colored by his kindness.+

“I wouldn’t say it was fun or not—I’m just glad I got to hear my wife’s story.”+

But such kindness could unintentionally stir someone’s heart. I’d have to be careful.+

“Saying things like that makes one’s heart flutter too much for a friend.”+

“After all, aren’t you my wife, Julietta?”+

When he said it like that, suddenly it felt awkward to coldly remind him we’d be strangers in two years. So I changed the subject.+

“That’s true. So… do you think we can clear up the misunderstanding now?”+

“Well… I’ll try my best.”+

It wasn’t a firm answer, unlike him. But since he wasn’t a man to say things he didn’t mean, I nodded.

“And there’s one more thing.”+

“What is it?”+

“Even if only Yezar and I know about our contract marriage, I can’t keep pretending all the time within the estate.”+

I had realized my talent for acting, but I also wanted to live comfortably in the ducal household. Playing the role of a harmonious couple was manageable, but passionately loving newlyweds? That was a different matter altogether.+

“Pretending?”+

“Yes. Pretending to love each other like fire. I didn’t deliberately act like I loved Yezar because I assumed the servants already knew. But now that I know they don’t, it’s difficult to consciously respond and behave accordingly.”+

How would I know how to do something like love properly? I’d only ever liked cute puppies and kittens. I’d never passionately loved a person before, so I didn’t even know how I was supposed to act.+

“You seem to be mistaken, but the maid Ember, who serves you personally, already knows our marriage is a two-year contract. The head butler of this estate knows as well.”+

Huh? Then why did the maids react the way they did this morning?+

While I was alone, puzzling over this, Yezar cleared his throat.+

“I’ve been thinking about something briefly.”+

“Yes, please tell me.”+

“Well, in my opinion, the head maid might have acted that way to deepen our relationship. She’s someone who took care of me as a child and has watched me suffer through unrequited love all along.”+

No wonder she seemed so experienced. She had been the head maid who looked after young Yezar and kept watch over the estate. That explained why she seemed so shocked when I said we could eat separately.+

She must have been passionately determined to find someone for him to truly care for, and then I went and said that.+

Now that I understood, I felt a strong wave of guilt toward Ember.+

‘Ah, then just a moment. If she knew about our contract marriage, she must’ve tried her best to strengthen our bond by preparing something…’+

“Yezar, may I ask you one question?”+

“You may.”+

“Morning meals—aren’t they usually not this late?”+

His shoulders twitched. My eyes narrowed instantly.+

“Your reaction is suspicious. Tell me. Did you deliberately delay breakfast so I’d eat with you?”+

That would explain the maids’ odd behavior this morning and why my breakfast time was so unusually late, coinciding perfectly with his.+

“Caught, huh?”+

“Yes. Definitely.”+

He must’ve really thought I wouldn’t notice. To anyone, it was obvious that eating breakfast at that hour made no sense.+

I let out a deep sigh.+

“Don’t do that. It makes me uncomfortable. You’ve made me eat late and probably disrupted my important early-morning training.”+

“I’m sorry… But I also genuinely wanted to eat with my wife.”+

At his answer, I recalled the rules we’d set for our married life.

“Even so, sharing breakfast is impossible. I can’t wake up that early, and I don’t want to keep delaying your mealtime either.”+

He looked at me with disappointment. In response, I smirked and added:+

“But isn’t there a rule we agreed on—spending leisure time together?”+

Suddenly, his eyes, which had held a trace of sadness, sparkled with new light.+

“After you finish breakfast, you’ll continue training, right?”+

“Yes, unless urgent matters arise.”+

“Perfect. Then we can spend time together then.”+

This way, he wouldn’t need to delay breakfast just to eat with me. I felt satisfied, having neatly resolved the issue. On the other hand, he still seemed to have questions.+

“At that time, I’ll be focused on training and might not properly attend to you. Even if you’re just watching, I’ll be drenched in sweat—it won’t be a pleasant sight.”+

He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. Clearly, Yezar had misunderstood what I meant.+

Indeed, there was still so much we needed to learn about each other.+

“Who said I’d just watch? I meant I’d join you in training.”+

“What? You, my wife?”+

“Of course. But since I’m not an official knight, go easy on me.”+

Yezar’s expression turned strangely complex. Then suddenly, his gaze grew intensely serious, and he stared at me as if I were a squire facing a knight commander.+

His unusually sharp demeanor made me involuntarily flinch.+

“Just a moment—may I see your hand?”+

I obediently held out my hand. Saying the wrong thing now felt like it might earn me a harsh scolding.+

Yezar carefully examined the hand I offered.+

“I was flustered when you groped my chest earlier, so I didn’t notice.”+

“W-why bring that up now!”+

But as if my voice didn’t reach him, his gaze remained fixed on my palm.+

“Your hands—they’re truly those of someone who’s handled a sword. May I touch them?”+

Unlike the delicate hands of refined young ladies, mine were calloused. For noblewomen who never did menial labor, calluses were considered disgraceful.+

‘Well, I thought it didn’t matter since I was in seclusion and never attended social events anyway, so I just went ahead and did it.’+

But now, with him seriously asking for permission to touch, I hesitated slightly.+

“…It’s fine.”+

At my consent, his hand gently caressed mine. He traced each knuckle, brushed over the calloused palm, and felt the texture of my skin.+

I suddenly realized how much larger his hands were than mine. When his thick-fingered hand completely enveloped mine, I couldn’t help but let out a sound.+

“Uhh.”

He immediately stopped.+

“Does it hurt?”+

When our eyes met, I instinctively turned away. Without even looking, I knew my face was flushed. I understood he was being serious as a swordsman, but if he kept touching my hand like this, even I…+

“It doesn’t hurt. I just thought… maybe you could stop touching it now…”+

Only then did Yezar seem to realize what he was doing. He flinched and quickly let go of my hand.+

“S-sorry. I was checking whether you’d ever handled a sword, and without realizing it, I… got too focused and made you uncomfortable…”+

“It’s okay. Really.”+

It wasn’t okay at all. His warmth still lingered on my hand. I could now tell how a man’s hand differed from a woman’s in bone structure, and how much bigger he was than me.+

I clenched my fist. Leaving my hand open felt like the sensation of his touch would come alive again.+

“Shall we go now?”+

I tried to speak calmly, but my voice trembled at the end. And he, too, answered without looking directly at me.+

“…Yes.”+

Seeing him nervously approach my side, I suddenly felt awkward all over again.