12. You May Come Today, or You May Not (2016.02.11.)
A few days after Khalif had visited her in a dream, Ilsia once again made her way to Hashar’s bedroom.
The route, guided by Anasila as before, was beginning to feel familiar. She felt that next time, she might be able to find her way on her own without needing Anasila’s guidance.
Entering the bedroom, Ilsia immediately pulled off the veil covering her face and called out to the master of the vast palace.
“Hashar!”
Hashar, who had been lounging on the bed, slowly rose. A thread of black smoke drifted out and extinguished the incense of Caligula that had been burning heavily in the incense burner. He offered a languid greeting that wasn’t quite a greeting.
“So you’ve finally come again.”
Ilsia frowned deeply and waved her hand dismissively. Knowing it was due to the Caligula incense, Hashar flicked his fingers. Black smoke swirled, absorbing the scent filling the room.
“Do you really still need to burn Caligula? I’m here now.”
Ilsia walked over and sat beside him. Hashar raised his eyebrows slightly.
“You may come today, or you may not. Is that not so?”
“……”
“Preparing for uncertainty is the mark of a good sultan.”
At his sly remark, Ilsia pouted in protest.
“It sounds less like preparing for uncertainty and more like being good at talking is the mark of a sultan.”
Seeing her sulky expression, Hashar let out a low laugh. Then he grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward him.
“Come here.”
Her small body slipped neatly into his embrace. Holding Ilsia, Hashar buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply. After breathing in and out for a while, he whispered with satisfaction.
“This is my favorite moment…”
Ilsia said nothing, simply allowing herself to be held. She intended to detox him from his Caligula intoxication through resonance.
She waited until his blurred red eyes regained clarity, and only after confirming he was in a state to talk did she bring up Khalif.
“Khalif came to see me.”
“Hm…”
Hashar idly toyed with her hair as he spoke.
“Khalif has not yet crossed the border of Alshatra.”
Why is this man like this?
In a particularly good mood today, he kept clinging to her and messing with her hair, which had been neatly tied up and was now completely undone. Ilsia frowned slightly and pushed his hand away.
“He can control minds. He appeared in my dream…”
“I see.”
His indifferent response made her feel frustrated. Tapping her chest in irritation, she raised her voice.
“Not ‘I see’! His divine power isn’t something to ignore!”
“Ah…”
Kissing the palm that pushed him away, Hashar smiled faintly.
“What is there to worry about when you are here?”
“You really—!”
It was clear that only she was taking this seriously. Hashar showed no interest in Khalif at all, focusing entirely on Ilsia instead.
That said, she couldn’t bring herself to push him away harshly, because he genuinely seemed to enjoy physical contact with her.
His face, full of contentment, looked almost childlike. To think she would see such a terrifying man as childlike—her own sanity might be questionable.
Her tied hair had come completely undone, so she eventually let it down. Narrowing her eyes, she asked,
“Aren’t you a little too carefree?”
Finally managing to detach herself from him, she continued,
“I will choose whatever is most beneficial for Devaris. If I end up choosing Khalif, what will you do then?”
Only then did Hashar begin to show interest in the topic of Khalif. He looked at Ilsia with an amused gaze and said,
“You’ll regret it.”
At his tone, treating her like a child, Ilsia tried to protest, but Hashar ignored her and continued.
“You don’t know Khalif, but I do.”
His red eyes sank deeply. With the most serious expression he had shown so far, Hashar whispered,
“He is… more ruthless than I am.”
His words were not a joke. But only Hashar could truly confirm their validity—Ilsia had not yet seen Khalif herself.
Based on faint memories from a dream, she couldn’t clearly recall what kind of person Khalif was. Without seeing him in person, it was hard to judge.
“I’ll take your advice into consideration.”
Ilsia brushed it off coolly, and Hashar chuckled softly.
“You don’t trust me.”
He twirled a strand of her loosened hair around his finger.
“You’ll regret it, I tell you.”
“Hey! At least stop touching me while we talk.”
Ilsia complained like an irritated cat, and Hashar laughed again.
Why is he like this?
She pouted in dissatisfaction. He tapped her lips lightly with his finger.
“I find it quite entertaining when you make that expression. Do keep doing it.”
He said, now sounding almost like giving an order. Unable to stop him, Ilsia drooped her eyes and said with a near-crying expression,
“Why do you keep touching me like this?”
“The more I touch you, the better I feel.”
What a shameless answer. Hashar truly had skin thicker than steel—no, diamond. Standing before him, Ilsia felt the urge to test just how thick and hard it was.
Hashar spoke again:
“It’s well known that the Sultan of Alshatra has no interest in women.”
Ilsia was already aware of that.
“…Yes, that’s true.”
“Then why do you think I keep taking interest in you?”
“Well… because I’m the king of Devaris?”
“No. You are special.”
As Ilsia silently looked at him, unsure of what to say, Hashar continued in a voice full of amusement.
“You’re not like ordinary women.”
“‘Women’? That sounds unpleasant to hear…”
At her complaint, Hashar raised an eyebrow, seemingly unaware of his mistake. Ilsia kindly corrected him.
“Say ‘woman.’”
Hashar burst into laughter. He laughed so hard that tears came to his eyes before finally calming down and apologizing.
“I made a mistake.”
Ilsia shot him a sidelong glance.
“Be more careful next time.”
In truth, she was slightly offended, but she could understand his reaction. Who would dare speak to Hashar like this? From his perspective, it must feel like a tiny mouse squeaking at a predator.
In any case, arguing over such matters with men of the desert, who were deeply rooted in male-dominant thinking, would be pointless…
In truth, Hashar was quite mild compared to most.
In the desert, women were regarded as possessions or ornaments of men—nothing more, nothing less. Thus, whenever Ilsia had to represent the Dekarim and face desert men, she always put Shukri forward as her public face.
Ordinary people would likely mock her mercilessly the moment they learned that the ruler leading Devaris was a woman—simply for that reason alone.
“…Sigh. Let’s not think about that for now.”
Ilsia brushed away her gloomy thoughts and turned back to Hashar.
“Anyway, you should be careful of Khalif.”
“Indeed.”
Hashar gave a short nod and extended his hand toward her. A small swirl of black smoke formed above his palm.
Curious, Ilsia watched as the smoke dispersed, revealing a pair of black rings. They were plain, without any decoration or patterns.
Hashar took Ilsia’s hands and placed one ring on the ring finger of each hand. Surprised, she looked up at him.
“What are these?”
“With these rings, you can summon me anytime.”
There was no woman who would feel bad receiving a shining gift. Ilsia instinctively spread her fingers and examined the rings. They fit her perfectly. She liked that they were simple rather than flashy.
Still, she couldn’t see any reason why he would give her something like this. Could he have done something to them? Suspicious, she asked,
“Don’t tell me… if I wear these, you can see everything I do clearly…?”
At her suspicion, Hashar tilted one corner of his lips.
“Ah. That’s actually a good idea. Perhaps I should have made them that way.”
“……”
“If you want, I can still make them like that now.”
Black smoke surged toward her hands. Ilsia quickly hid her hands behind her back and shouted,
“No, no!”
She almost got herself into something she couldn’t undo. Seeing her reaction, Hashar lay back comfortably on the bed.
“Don’t be so suspicious. I am someone who has promised to help you.”
“Alright.”
He reclined on his side, propping his head with one hand, and gazed at her. Somehow, being looked at so casually made Ilsia feel shy. She turned her head away, avoiding his gaze, though she could still feel his eyes on her.
“If Khalif does anything suspicious, call for me with that ring.”
Ilsia nodded slightly, looking at the ring on her finger as it glowed faintly in the light.
“A ring that summons Hashar… it’s kind of like a genie in a lamp.”
The difference was that instead of granting wishes, he would probably destroy everything in sight—but in a way, it felt similar.
For now, Ilsia intended to walk a fine line between Khalif and Hashar, so she likely wouldn’t need to use it for a while. Still, just having it on her finger gave her a sense of reassurance.
She smiled faintly at the ring.
Watching her, Hashar said,
“Now then, you should put me to sleep.”
Turning around, she saw that he was already lying down comfortably with his eyes closed.
“Come closer…”
At his languid voice, Ilsia took a breath and exhaled.
Fine. She had received the ring—this was special service. She carefully moved closer and lay down beside him, keeping a small distance.
“Hm?”
When she lay down next to him, Hashar slightly opened his eyes.
“Why the change? You’re lying beside me today.”
“I received a gift, so… just this once.”
She emphasized “just today” by holding up one finger, but Hashar suddenly pulled her close by the waist. In an instant, she was pressed tightly against him.
“Hashar!”
Despite her surprised exclamation, he closed his eyes as if nothing had happened.
“If you’re going to lie down with me, do it like this.”
“You really—!”
“Feels like I’ll fall asleep faster this way.”
“….”
He really had a talent for shaking people’s emotions. In the end, Ilsia gave in and allowed herself to rest in his arms for a moment.
As she lay there quietly, the atmosphere felt a bit strange. Her face was right against his bare chest. She wanted to say something to fill the silence, and suddenly remembered something she had wanted to ask.
“Hashar, are you asleep?”
“…Not yet.”
The question rose to her throat, but even with the opportunity, she hesitated. However, bottling things up wasn’t her nature.
In the end, she asked directly,
“Why don’t you spend nights with the women in your harem?”
Hashar opened his eyes slightly and looked at her.
“I didn’t expect you to worry about my nights.”
“That’s not—”
Her face instantly turned red. To hide her embarrassment, she buried her face in his chest and mumbled,
“I was just… curious…”
He let out a low laugh. The vibration reverberated through his chest, tickling her.
“How could I feel any desire when I’m tormented by nightmares every night? Don’t you think so?”
“I see…”
Indeed, when unable to even get proper sleep, one’s basic instincts would take a backseat.
“At this rate, once I can finally sleep properly thanks to you, I’ll likely start seeking women again.”
His added remark made her previously good mood sink instantly. An image of him embracing another woman formed in her mind.
Yes… he is a man, after all…
Even as she tried to act indifferent, her heart ached.
Seeing her silence, Hashar leaned close to her ear and whispered,
“Are you jealous?”
“I’m not!”
She pushed him away, and Hashar laughed aloud.
“If you dislike me taking other women, then you should come to me every day.”
His hand gently patted her back.
“…Then I won’t have time to hold anyone else.”
Neither of them spoke for a while. After some silence, Ilsia quietly called out,
“Hashar?”
No response.
Was he that tired? It seemed he had fallen asleep quickly. Still held in his arms, Ilsia stared at him with wide, alert eyes.
“He really is sound asleep.”
He was truly a handsome man. It was no wonder the women of Alshatra lost themselves at even the sight of his shadow.
His straight nose, closed lips… his black eyelashes and the red eyes hidden behind his eyelids. Now fully asleep, he had shed all defenses.
Watching him, her heart felt strangely tender. But it was time to go. Gently, Ilsia lifted his arm aside. He was so deeply asleep that he did not wake as she slipped out.
When Ilsia stepped out of Hashar’s bedroom, Anasila was waiting.
“Thank you for your effort.”
Guided once again by her, Ilsia walked along the winding path. At the end of the path, Anasila spoke as before.
“Thanks to your visits, Lord Hashar is able to sleep peacefully. I don’t know how to express my gratitude.”
She bowed deeply, as if her head would touch the ground. Ilsia smiled faintly.
“There’s no need to thank me, Anasila.”
But despite her words, Anasila remained bowed.
“If you do not come, Lord Hashar’s sleep does not even last one or two hours. No matter how much Caligula incense is burned.”
“Ah… I see…”
Ilsia found it hard to believe. Could a person live on so little sleep? She thought it seemed impossible.
So that’s why he slept so deeply whenever she came.
As she recalled his sleeping face again, her chest ached.
The man who seemed to have everything in the world… yet had such a fragile side.
Anasila pleaded earnestly,
“Though it is presumptuous of me, I humbly ask that you visit more often…”
“I can’t promise anything, Anasila.”
Ilsia clenched her fist once before continuing.
“But I will try my best.”
Anasila’s face brightened. She bowed repeatedly in gratitude. Watching her, Ilsia felt conflicted.
At first, she had thought Hashar was like a demon. But the more she got to know him, the more human he became in her heart.
She disliked herself for even considering abandoning him and choosing Khalif.
But emotions were just emotions. Ilsia was the king leading Devaris. The fate of her people rested in her hands. She could not allow personal feelings to ruin her decisions.
She knew she had to make the choice befitting a king.
Yet she couldn’t stop herself from hoping that choice would lead her toward Hashar.
“…Hashar…”
She called his name silently in her mind for no reason. Her chest felt heavy, as if soaked with emotion
