Episode 6: The Empress Decides to Die
“I heard the knights talking. They said I either lost my memory… or I’m pretending to have lost it.”
The man ran a hand through his black hair, looking confused.
“If it’s the year 680 of the Continental Calendar, then I should be twenty-six. How is that possible?”
“Have you looked in a mirror?”
“Anyone can see I’m not fourteen. Why do you think twelve years of my memory are gone, Master?”
“How would I know something you don’t?”
“I think you might. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever seen.”
He spoke in a serious tone. If this was an act, he must have been a heaven-sent actor.
“It’s hard to believe you’ve lost your memory.”
“If you want, you can split my head open and look inside. I mean it.”
“Sincerity is not proof. I have no choice but to drive you out of the imperial palace.”
“You’re… driving me out?”
A golden wave rippled through his eyes—the strongest emotion he had shown so far.
“Did you think I would take in a foreign slave of unknown origin?”
“But… I belong to you, don’t I?”
His voice, mixed with confusion and sadness, pierced deep into my chest. *Mine. My possession.*
I tried to steady my breathing, but he didn’t give me the chance.
“You chased away the knights to protect me, didn’t you?”
Like a child clinging desperately to avoid being abandoned by his mother, he asked.
He had remained calm even when a blade was at his throat—so what was he so afraid of?
His pale, beautiful face stirred guilt.
“Are a name and hometown that important? Enough to abandon someone for not knowing them?”
*Why are you so afraid of being abandoned? I’ve only been your master for a week.*
With every word he spoke, it felt like I was sinking into a bottomless swamp.
I was wavering. Shaken. I had sworn never to be swayed by emotions again.
Yet he was trying to shatter even the resolve I had gained through death.
*I won’t allow it. No matter what you are.*
“You always speak in strange ways.”
I erased my expression and spoke coldly. He widened his eyes, noticing the change.
“I have never treated you. I’ve never fed you meat, nor protected you. I only gave orders.”
“But—”
“I bought you out of pity, but that’s all. This is the imperial palace. There’s no need for a nameless gladiator slave.”
I expected him to protest, to ask why I bought him in the first place—but his face darkened.
He slowly took a step back. That alone felt like an eternal distance.
“If you wish to discard me, then do so. I will obey your command.”
Why did words of obedience sound so sorrowful? Why did his wounded expression tear at my heart?
But this was enough. I allowed myself no further questions.
“I’ll give you emancipation papers and settlement money. Take them and leave. That is my final mercy.”
—
—
I was ill for two days straight. I couldn’t even swallow water, let alone porridge.
The finger I had twisted on the wheelchair wheel had swollen badly.
Countess Bauzen, my lady-in-waiting, nursed me. Joan never left my side either.
In my drugged haze, I overheard their conversation.
“Her Majesty’s condition is worsening. The paralysis is spreading above her knees.”
“Can’t it be delayed?”
“Unless she stops using the Eyes of the Stars… I fear she won’t last many more years.”
Countess Bauzen was a scholar who studied healing at the Royal Academy.
She had also been the attendant and physician of Beatrice, the former Empress and Clifford’s mother.
When I took my last breath in my previous life, the last face I saw was hers.
*‘I still have four years before I die. Why should I live longer? Dewey must be waiting for me… he must want to see me soon…’*
My consciousness drifted. Familiar faces flickered before my eyes. I reached out, but grasped nothing.
I was tired of this fragile lifeline… tired of being bound to the title of Empress even after death.
I wanted to shake it all off and fly—but I had no wings. No legs.
Why did that man’s face keep appearing? Bronze skin. Leopard-like eyes. His wounded back.
I don’t want to wake up. If I do, I’ll have to drive him out of the palace.
“The Emperor doesn’t seem concerned about Her Majesty’s condition. How can he be so heartless?”
“Isn’t that nothing new?”
“He saw how his mother died…”
Just as Countess Bauzen wiped her tears, Clifford stormed into my chamber.
“So the Empress’s servants are eager to curse me.”
“Your Majesty!”
“Go on. I found the story about my mother quite interesting.”
“I-I apologize…”
“Say it. How miserably my mother died. How cruel the Crown Prince was!”
A cold light flashed in Clifford’s eyes. I forced myself upright with my frail arms.
“That’s enough.”
“Your Majesty! It’s dangerous for you to get up!”
“I’m fine.”
I wanted to sound stronger, but my cracked lips made it difficult.
Clifford looked down at me coldly.
“You got up so quickly. Embarrassed that your act was exposed?”
“I’m overwhelmed by your concern.”
“While the Empress was being lazy, the Autonia delegation arrived.”
Autonia, in the southeast of the continent, was a vital ally.
Without their support, Anghel would have lost the war against the Colonatus Empire.
Though not called an empire, their power rivaled one.
Every year, they sent a delegation to strengthen ties—but that was just a façade.
Their real goal was to exploit Anghel’s resources.
This time, the delegation was led by Prince Gillian—the third prince. Ambitious and cunning like his father.
I should have handled it myself… but I collapsed with a fever, so Clifford received them.
What else had changed?
“The prince is quite bold. He agreed to let our knights inspect the border between Autonia and Colonatus.”
For a moment, I doubted my ears.
*Letting foreign knights inspect our borders? What kind of fool would do that?*
“You secured a chance to observe an enemy. Why aren’t you pleased?”
“Autonia would never give that for free.”
“Strictly speaking, it’s not free.”
“What did they demand?”
“Focus on your recovery. That way, you can help our ally with your precious Eyes of the Stars.”
Crack. My heart shattered.
“…Don’t tell me—you promised them access to the castle?”
“Just a temporary loan.”
“!”
“And we’ll receive two million gold. A profitable deal, isn’t it? Enough to pay off my debts.”
Clifford smiled in satisfaction.
“You’re not saying you won’t do this for the Empire… are you, Your Brilliant Majesty?”
—
—
Clifford found Prince Gillian irritating.
His assessing gaze, as if pricing everything, and his arrogant demeanor like an occupying force.
Though said to be in his forties, Gillian looked like a man in his twenties.
“When may I meet the Empress?”
“Please wait until she recovers.”
“You’re not stalling, are you?”
“Do you doubt me?”
“Of course not! I’m very grateful you granted my request.”
Gillian laughed loudly.
“A wife who can see the future… how enviable. And she’s said to be the most beautiful in the Empire?”
“Rumors are often exaggerated.”
“My older brother said she’s so beautiful she appears in dreams.”
Clifford clenched his fist.
He recalled Stella laughing freely before foreign men—never once smiling sincerely at him.
“She really is a woman obsessed with power.”
*‘Show them you’re capable without Stella. You’re a competent emperor!’*
Clifford steadied himself.
But he couldn’t tolerate being looked down on.
“Show respect when speaking of the Empress.”
“My apologies. I didn’t realize you cherished her so much.”
“What do you mean?”
“I heard your harem is full of female slaves.”
“!”
“And that the Empress has taken a lover. Such an open culture.”
Gillian licked his lips. Clifford shot up.
“If I offended you, I apologize. In Autonia, stating facts isn’t considered insulting.”
“I will not tolerate further disrespect!”
“You wouldn’t cut diplomatic ties, would you?”
“Why not? I’m not as soft as the Empress.”
Gillian smiled faintly, half amused.
“How should I report this? That you threatened a diplomatic envoy?”
“….”
“Perhaps my father will decide Anghel is no longer a necessary ally.”
Only then did Clifford realize something had gone wrong.
—
—
“Do not use the Eyes of the Stars! Your life is at risk!”
I remembered Countess Bauzen collapsing in tears.
I had no tears left.
If I kept using that power, I would die even sooner than twenty-six.
*‘So he chose widowhood over divorce… planning to use me until I die.’*
A dry laugh escaped me.
But I never imagined he’d sell me off to another country.
From the drawer, I took out a small silver vial.
Three drops would induce paralysis. Five would kill painlessly.
It was a gift from my father when I entered the palace.
*‘If you disgrace the family, take your own life.’*
I had no reason to live.
And no reason not to die.
“Such a pitiful life.”
As I struggled to open the vial with my injured hand—
A shadow fell by the window.
*An assassin? Perfect timing.*
My short life flashed before me.
A girl who never laughed or cried freely.
A puppet raised for the Empire.
Regret flooded in.
Then—
A stranger stepped inside.
I clenched my fist—
Until I saw his face.
A breathtakingly beautiful face. Golden eyes.
“My name… I remember it now.”
“And the reason you must not abandon me.”
