MHHASCD 34

Ever since then, the knights have kept their distance.

Even when we go out on monster-subjugation missions, I find myself separated before I realize it, acting alone. While I charge ahead and cut down the monsters, the others deal with whatever stragglers remain.

We used to fight together, coordinating as a unit. We used to.

“Good work.”

“…Yeah.”

When I offer words of appreciation, they avert their eyes. Fatigue is plainly written on all their faces. They used to move with so much more vigor.

The awkwardness lingers, but I vent the frustration of being unable to go on expeditions through morning training. Returning to a quiet, empty house only amplifies the unpleasant thoughts.

Even when I’m exhausted, I can’t sleep.

The moment I close my eyes, Sheila appears before me.

I know better, yet my body moves on its own, searching through the house. When I find the half of the tableware left behind, I can only collapse where I stand. That’s why I haven’t gone home lately.

I turned down the transfer to Marseize.

Sheila isn’t there.

“Hey, Leon. You’re at it early every morning.”

“Captain.”

That day as well, while I was practicing my swings and running through forms, the captain called out to me. I wiped the sweat away, lowered my wooden sword, and bowed.

“Care for a bout, once in a while?”

“I’d be honored. Please, teach me!”

“Very well. …You’re not wearing your sword belt?”

At his words, my hand moved unconsciously to my waist.

I haven’t worn the sword belt Sheila gave me recently.

“Ah… it’s starting to wear out, so I take it off when I’m not on duty.”

“I see. Then this will show me your true skill.”

As soon as he spoke, the captain assumed his stance. The air around us sharpened, and I raised my guard to meet him.

A sharp whoosh cut through the air as his blade came down toward my face. The moment I blocked it, a numbing shock ran through my hands.

Our guards locked. We pushed, deflected, and traded blows.

Parry, thrust, cut. I moved with the forms firmly in mind.

Without a sword belt, my breathing grows ragged. Fatigue dulls my thoughts.

Yet the captain wasn’t even short of breath. I was forced to confront the overwhelming gap in our abilities.

“Ah!”

The dry crack of wood rang out as my sweat-slicked sword flew from my grasp. In that instant, his blade stopped at my throat.

“Hah… hah… I yield.”

As I raised both hands, breathing hard, the captain broke into a grin.

“Still not enough. Your guard is loose. You’re too bound to form, just a fraction too slow to respond to your opponent.”

“…Yes.”

“Train without arrogance.”

“Yes! Thank you very much!”

To receive personal instruction from the captain is a rare honor.

I intend to continue serving the knight order.

And yet—

“I’ll be going to Flailchest.”

“W-what…?”

“I took responsibility for the recent incident. It was a failure of oversight on my part. Ordinarily I should resign, but they wouldn’t allow it.”

“That… that means…”

Is it… because of me?

My heart lets out an unpleasant sound.

“Well, I’m a widower with no attachments. At my age, I’ll probably be buried there.”

I owe the captain everything.

When I was still a green recruit who knew nothing, he was my superior. He led our subjugation unit and personally oversaw my training.

When he became captain, I was proud—happier than anyone.

“Leon.”

My shoulders jumped when he called my name.

“I don’t like interfering in my subordinates’ private lives. But it’s time you let go.”

He didn’t say of what, yet I understood.

Still, I couldn’t do it. Even hearing it from the man I respect most, I couldn’t give up.

“You have a child to protect now. You’re no longer unencumbered. You bear responsibility for the child you sired out of wedlock.

This is my final advice. If you love her, let her go. Don’t stand in your ex-wife’s way.”

“…”

“Don’t cling to what you lost through your own fault. And make sure you pay the compensation.”

The captain’s words weigh heavily on me.

Let go, if I love her? That’s impossible.

Sheila must remain to protect our home.

“And eat properly, then get some sleep. Lack of sleep erodes your thinking. Even if you can’t sleep, just close your eyes.”

Watching his back as he walked away, I wiped the sweat from my face.

The burden pressing down on my shoulders was too heavy. I couldn’t move for a while.

Afterward, dragging my heavy feet, I went to the locker room to change.

“Ah…”

There he was, standing in front of my locker, door open, holding something. In his right hand was a dagger.

My vision flared red. My body moved before my mind could catch up.

The area erupted into chaos, but I didn’t care.

More than anything, it felt as though my connection to Sheila was being severed, and the pain was unbearable.

Me throwing punches. The man taking them. Others trying to stop us.

We were in a tangled mess until the captain arrived and silenced the room with a single shout.

I realized then that I couldn’t stay here anymore.

The captain I respected was leaving. There were people who would break others’ belongings without remorse.

I felt no attachment to such a place.

“Leon.”

“Hey, Karl. Good timing. Do you know where Sheila is? She’s been gone over half a year now. It’s about time I went to bring her back, right?”

My best friend Karl sucked in a breath. He blinked several times, then pressed his lips together as if hesitating.

“I don’t know. Just that she left the capital. Even Amelie doesn’t know where she went.”

She left without telling her closest friend?

Sheila was never that heartless.

She must be lonely, all by herself somewhere.

I have to find her soon and comfort her.

“I see. Hah… guess I’m unemployed as of today. Maybe I’ll register as an adventurer for now.”

Looking back, I should have become an adventurer sooner.

Going on quests with Sheila, earning rewards together.

If only I hadn’t joined the knight order—such thoughts cross my mind.

“Leon… Sheila is—”

“If I’m going to the guild, I’ll need to submit a marriage registration too.”

At my quiet words, Karl was struck speechless.

I turned on my heel, ignoring him as he stood there.

I cleaned out my locker and went to say farewell to the captain.

When I told him I was resigning, he simply said, “I see.”

He stamped the resignation form without hesitation.

With that, I was no longer a knight of the kingdom.

Afterward, I registered at the adventurers’ guild and obtained a marriage registration form.

No matter how many times I submitted it, they refused to accept it.

Eventually, some old man stopped me.

Next time, I’ll have to submit it when he’s not around.

For a while, I took on quests around the capital.

I managed to save up a fair amount.

A letter regarding the child born out of wedlock arrived at my home in the capital.

Apparently, a thousand gold coins per year are required for education expenses.

That, too, must be dealt with.

I headed for Marseize.

Something that hadn’t existed before I met Sheila now weighs heavily on my shoulders.

It’s heavy and painful, yet I can’t set it down. It clings to me and won’t let go.

“Leon! Welcome home!”

Once, this smile used to heal me.

“Papa!”

Once, I found this voice adorable.

Now, it is the heaviest burden of all.

“Chiara, we need to talk.”

Chiara’s smile vanished, her throat tightening as she swallowed.

She suggested we sit down, but I planned to leave as soon as the bare minimum was done.

I sent Lilia to the back room.

“So, um, about Lilia, you see—”

“I know about the education expenses. I received the notice too. You could remarry and file her as a legitimate child, but Chiara, I will not marry you.”

Her mouth fell open slightly.

“Eh…?”

“I’ll pay for Lilia’s expenses. Sheila… said as much. But I can’t keep pretending to be your husband anymore.”

Her eyes widened in shock. She opened and closed her mouth several times, then shook her head weakly.

Even when she said, “That’s a lie,” I didn’t waver.

Why did I ever do what I did back then?

“We’re divorced, right? You said you loved me.”

“Not for your sake. Saying ‘I love you’ costs nothing. You can say it without meaning it.”

Chiara raised her hand. A dry sound echoed.

“Liar! You said you loved me, that I was the only one!

You said there was no love for your wife!”

She clenched her fists weakly and struck my chest.

Even so, my heart remained still.

“I believed we could get married…!

If it were going to be like this, then I never should’ve had a child…!”

“…Mama?”

At Chiara’s sobbing voice, Lilia came out from the back room.

Even looking at the child staring at me anxiously, I felt none of the affection I once did.

“I’ll transfer the money to the guild under Lilia’s name. I’ll provide a thousand gold coins each year, but don’t expect more than that.”

With only those words, I left the house.

I have no intention of returning.

After that, I continued taking quests to earn money while searching for Sheila.

But time passed without a single lead.

To gather information, I drank alone in taverns, focusing amid the din of voices around me.

“Come on, Dylan, cheer up already!”

“So about that quest we did the other day—”

“There was a wyvern out west…”

“Ram-chi made a new friend, and get this, her name is She—”

“Ahh, let’s save that kind of talk for the room.”

I set my glass down softly.

My destination lies to the west.