Chapter 33
“Don’t apologize to me.”
In the prison cell, Catherine remembered when Eleanor once told her not to apologize. That moment now felt like a lie.
“I’m sorry. I am…”
“Are you leaving us? Leaving me and my sister here? You’re just going to go by yourself?”
“I’m sorry… Don’t forgive me.”
Her mother, who had left Catherine and her sister in their past life, only said those words as she walked away. “I’m sorry.” That was all.
Whether someone forgives or not, apologies can make the other person feel pathetic.
Even though forgiveness lies with the person receiving the apology, most people apologize just to ease their guilt—
never thinking about the one they hurt.
Catherine realized she had done that to Eleanor.
She had apologized so casually, trying to get closer to her, trying to win the favor of the main character.
That was a sin.
Catherine had used Eleanor just to survive.
She tried to silence her guilt by pretending to be kind.
But that guilt… that weight might be something she had to carry for the rest of her life.
Still, Catherine had turned away from it.
She told herself she was different from the past version of herself.
But in the end, both the past and present Catherine… were still here.
She had to apologize to Eleanor.
Not to get closer again. Not to feel better.
But to take responsibility for the ignorance and mistakes of her past self.
Even if she wouldn’t be forgiven—Catherine needed to truly apologize to Eleanor.
It wasn’t about feeling less guilty.
It wasn’t about being forgiven.
It wasn’t about rebuilding their relationship.
“Catherine, stay with me!”
Even as she was losing consciousness, she remembered Eleanor’s gentle, tearful voice calling out to her.
That voice was the only thing that kept her from breaking apart.
As if it was saying, “I’m here. This is real.”
Eleanor—so bright and kind—showed kindness even to someone as foolish and selfish as her.
The girl who was always abandoned, only Eleanor ever reached out her hand.
“Please! Don’t give up! Catherine!”
Even if Eleanor seemed distant… even if she had turned her back on the world—
she was still, undeniably, the main character.
Eleanor wasn’t good because she was the main character.
She was the main character because she was good.
Catherine felt like crying.
Eleanor’s kindness was so overwhelming—it felt like she was saying, “Don’t run away. Face yourself.”
“My kind, beautiful main character…”
“…I’m sorry,”
Catherine whispered a quiet apology that would never reach her.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”
She kept repeating it—over and over,
as if someone, anyone, might hear.
Catherine had to grow.
Even if her growth was broken, in this new life, she had to keep moving forward.
And her first step… was a real apology to Eleanor.
Creak.
The sound of a door opening broke the silence as someone entered the prison.
“No way… Is it the Duke?”
Catherine shut her eyes tightly, praying it wasn’t Duke Hereis.
She wasn’t ready to face him yet.
“…What are you doing?”
“D-David? Brother?!”
Thankfully, it was David standing in front of her.
He stared at her—dirty and disheveled inside the cell.
Catherine thought he had come to mock her—treat her like a rat in a cage.
But then, David frowned, as if something didn’t sit right with him.
“Sigh… You and your mother—I knew you’d end up doing something filthy like this eventually…”
He suddenly gestured for her to come closer.
Suspicious, Catherine slowly moved toward him.
“W-What… why…?”
Clang! Slam!
Suddenly, he grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head into the bars.
“Ah—ugh!”
Her forehead hit the iron bars hard.
His hand froze for a moment, but Catherine didn’t notice—too distracted by the sharp pain.
“…What the hell…”
David had never hit her before.
She couldn’t understand what was happening.
Even though he was an interrogator known for punishing criminals, Catherine foolishly thought she was different.
“I thought we had at least some family bond left… Stupid of me.”
Now that she thought about it, she wasn’t much different from the criminals he usually punished.
Catherine laughed bitterly.
He seemed uncomfortable with her soft hair in his hand, and for a second, she thought he looked… unsettled.
But she dismissed it. There was no way. Must’ve been her imagination.
“…Does it hurt? Did you ever think how scared Eleanor must’ve been in that messed-up situation?! Did you?!”
Catherine realized—he wasn’t hitting her for himself.
He was punishing her on Eleanor’s behalf.
At the duke’s house, Catherine was now a criminal who had tried to drug Eleanor.
Knowing that, she let her body go limp and closed her eyes.
“If this is my punishment, then go ahead. Hurt me instead of hurting her…”
Eleanor… She was too kind to ever do this herself.
“…I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“For everything… to Eleanor. And to you too, Brother. I annoyed you, made things worse…
I know it’s too late, but I still wanted to say sorry.”
Catherine’s voice was calm.
Just like with Eleanor, she had done so much wrong to David too.
Even when he told her to stop, she kept bothering him.
So she had no right to feel upset.
Regret was a luxury she didn’t deserve.
“…You’re annoying.”
But unlike what she expected, nothing more happened.
No more violence.
Catherine slowly opened her eyes.
David stood there, staring at her with a strange expression.
“…Why aren’t you…”
She grabbed his hand.
“…Why won’t you hit me?”
Her small hands looked soft—like someone who had never suffered.
When she touched him, his hand flinched.
But Catherine thought it was because he was disgusted by her.
“Ugh, you look like you’d faint after just one hit. Yeah, no. You don’t get to die that easily. Not a chance.”
She had no idea what he was thinking.
But David muttered something about not wasting her death and then turned around to leave.
For someone known for torturing criminals, he sure left in a surprisingly quiet way.
After he was gone, silence returned to the prison.
Catherine hugged her knees and sat down against the wall.
This was her fifth day locked up.
She still got meals, so it didn’t seem like the duke planned to kill her—yet.
Then why was she still alive?
She guessed it was to dig up Rachel’s crimes—using Catherine to get to her.
Rachel rarely acted directly. She used Catherine and other pawns to interfere with Eleanor and the Valentine family.
But when someone like that gets caught—it’s only a matter of time.
Now that Catherine was imprisoned, if she betrayed Rachel, the duchy could find her weaknesses.
But… I don’t even know anything useful. If I’m no longer needed, the duke will kill me.
And if she knew Rachel, she’d try to kill her quietly before she could talk.
Catherine hadn’t expected her betrayal of Rachel—done to help Eleanor—to end up like this.
It was as if the whole world wanted her dead.
“…What should I do now…”
“What’s there to do?”
A voice answered her mumbling.
Cold. Calm. Flat.
Startled, Catherine looked up.
“W-What?! Who… Killian?!”
One man left. Another came.
Without a sound, Killian stood in front of her.
“Did you hit your head or something in here? Where’s that ‘big brother’ act you used to pull?”
He looked different—thinner, a bit pale.
He should be happy I’m here… Why does he look so worn down?
“Why are you here…?”
Clink.
Killian unlocked the cell and stepped inside, carrying a basket of bread and warm milk.
“I thought you’d be hungry.”
He had brought her food.
What is he thinking? He doesn’t feel sorry for me… does he?
Catherine stayed cautious.
“I told you. You’ll pay for what your mother did, too.”
He carefully placed the basket on the ground.
That was something he’d said to her before.
But this time, his face wasn’t angry.
“Everyone in this house knows how much you adored and followed your mother.”
“…”
“David thinks you and Rachel planned this together. But I don’t.”
He looked directly at her.
“I know you tried to help Eleanor.”
Catherine’s eyes widened.
She hadn’t expected him to know.
“For helping the girl you hated so much—I’m grateful. I came to thank you.”
Killian, standing there with calm sincerity, showed more respect than Catherine thought she deserved as a criminal.
