~CHAPTER 51~
The next day, I headed to the dining hall around the same time as usual.
I was pretty tired because I hadn’t slept well, maybe because I was still uneasy.
If I go to the dining hall, Seria will be there. I have to face her again.
Unlike yesterday, when the situation was sudden, this time I already knew she would be there, so I wouldn’t lose my judgment like before.
The problem was whether I could control my expression when I saw her.
The anger of being betrayed hadn’t faded even after many regressions.
That was how close we were, and yet she was the only one who stabbed me in the back across all the repeated loops.
There was even a time, driven by rage, when I tried to hunt her down in the next round to get revenge.
But after the second loop, she never showed herself in front of me again.
I don’t know how she disappeared like that.
My anger had gone nowhere and eventually fell asleep like dying embers inside me, but that didn’t mean the grudge was gone.
Yesterday I was too shocked to even get angry. Eat together? I’ll be lucky if I don’t throw water in her face.
While worrying, I stopped in front of the door and made a decision.
Don’t look at her as much as possible. Don’t talk to her at all. Seria doesn’t know who I am anyway.
…or so I thought.
After taking a deep breath to control my anger, I opened the door and walked inside the dining hall, only to realize every worry I had on the way here had been pointless.
“Jerena, good morning!”
“Did you just wake up?”
The moment the door opened, Latiya and Zahar greeted me brightly. And beside them were Sian and Seria…
They’re not here?
Neither Sian nor Seria was anywhere in sight. I looked around the entire dining hall, but they were nowhere to be found.
Ilay wasn’t here because I sent him straight to the Demon Realm yesterday, but why were Sian and Seria gone?
“Sian went out with that saint candidate girl or whatever. They said they were going to the temple.”
Before I even asked, Zahar answered with a bored tone, knowing exactly who I was looking for.
“Oh… I see.”
“Why? Did you have something to say to him?”
“Ah, no.”
“Hmm.”
He raised an eyebrow suspiciously, tore a piece of bread, and popped it in his mouth.
Seria was someone from the temple, so it wasn’t strange for her to move around with Sian.
Then why was I feeling this unpleasant irritation?
It wasn’t shock like yesterday, nor anger. It was clearly displeasure.
Just hearing that the two of them went out together was irritating. As if I were jealous.
…Jealous?
How ridiculous. Just because Sian took care of me a little, do I think he’s mine or something?
The fact that I was irritated made me snort in disbelief at myself.
While I was mocking my own reaction, Latiya spoke with a spoon still in her mouth.
“Jerena, what are you doing today?”
“Hm?”
I forced myself to focus on her voice and pushed Sian and Seria out of my mind.
“If you don’t have plans—”
“Latiya wants to visit the market.”
“Hey, I was going to say that!”
Latiya pouted at Zahar for interrupting, then looked at me again.
“You’ll come with us, right?”
I had passed the market several times while visiting Leaf’s kitchen, but it never seemed lively.
And from what I had seen, Latiya never showed interest in it either.
The village didn’t have many people, so it made sense.
Before I could answer, Zahar explained in my place.
“We have a new lord, remember? The residents probably want to celebrate. The nasty old lord vanished in no time, and someone new arrived.”
“So they’re holding a night market for a few days!”
“Ah, I see…”
Latiya looked more excited than usual, and Zahar, although pretending not to, clearly sounded eager as well.
If I refused, they’d just go by themselves.
Both of them were capable enough to protect themselves, so there wouldn’t be a problem even if I stayed behind, but…
“Alright, let’s go together.”
“Yay!”
I wouldn’t be doing anything even if I stayed at home. It might be good to look around and rest my mind for a bit.
Too much had happened these past few days.
“Then let’s meet in the lobby around sunset!”
“Don’t forget. We’ll leave you behind.”
The two beamed and repeatedly reminded me in excited voices.
I nodded and headed upstairs.
Once I was alone in the quiet room, away from their lively energy, the silence felt heavy.
I was full, I didn’t see Seria’s face, and my mind was calm.
Maybe I was sleep-deprived, but I suddenly felt drowsy.
Yeah, I should rest today.
I had been thinking too much, running around too much.
It was time to take a break properly.
I threw myself onto the bed.
Sleep had refused to come at dawn, but now I could barely keep my eyes open.
Just a short nap…
My heavy eyelids slowly closed.
***
When I opened my eyes again…
A dream…?
I was inside a dream.
My hand is transparent.
My body was faint and see-through, like I could see right through it.
Since being trapped in this endless cycle of regressions, lucid dreams were nothing unusual.
How much time passed? I need to wake up in time for the night market.
I realized I was dreaming, but I couldn’t wake up whenever I wanted.
So what was I supposed to do here?
I simply sat down on the spot.
Wandering around even in a dream was tiring. I just wanted to rest, and yet I had to stay conscious here too.
The only fortunate thing was that this wasn’t a dream replaying memories from previous loops.
Back when I was still new to possession, I often dreamed about the moments of my death, and those nights never felt restful.
Compared to that, this dream was practically a vacation.
I rested my elbow on my knee and propped my cheek against my hand.
Around me stretched a vast wheat field. Golden, ripe stalks glowed under the setting sun, making the field look even more beautiful.
It was definitely a dream. I had never been to such a place.
Even for a dream, it’s a stunning view.
My body felt weightless and comfortable, and the scenery was peaceful and calm.
For once, I felt like I was truly healing.
At least until a woman in a large bonnet ran past me, shouting a name.
“Sian!”
…Sian?
The familiar name made me turn instinctively.
Swish, swish, swish.
The woman moved through the wheat without hesitation.
That must sting.
Ripe wheat had stiff stalks that scratched and clung to fabric and bare skin.
Yet she rushed forward without caring.
Maybe because I became curious, my body floated up on its own.
Without walking, the scenery followed her movement. I only saw her from behind as I drifted along.
Soon, she grabbed a man from behind and hugged him tightly.
“Sian, I missed you.”
The man turned around in response to her sweet voice.
Just as I expected, it was Sian.
Well, it’s my dream. The chances of it being some random guy named Sian are low.
I stared blankly as he held the woman back in a gentle embrace.
“I missed you too.”
His voice was soft. He was always kind to me, but this tone was clearly different, filled with affection.
Was this how he would sound if he fell in love? Or was this just my imagination creating him?
The woman lifted her head. The ribbon on her bonnet was loose, and the wind had shifted it slightly.
Only then did I see the face I had been unable to see before.
What the…
The woman in Sian’s arms was… me.
With a face overflowing with a happiness I had never once felt in my life.
I jolted awake.
I was in bed, alone, drenched in embarrassment.
“What a ridiculous dream…”
Why did I dream something so outrageous? It was so embarrassing I couldn’t tell anyone about it.
I’m not some lovestruck teenager!
I rubbed my face repeatedly to regain composure.
Then, a knock came from the door.
Knock, knock.
“Jerena?”
Without waiting for permission, the door opened and Zahar poked his head in.
“It’s time, why aren’t you coming down? …Were you sleeping?”
“Ah…”
Right. We were supposed to go to the night market.
All I did in that dream was sit like an idiot and watch myself hugging Sian, and time passed that quickly?
Even if time passed differently in dreams, this felt like such a loss.
“Latiya is yelling because you’re late.”
“I’ll… be right there.”
“Good. Hurry.”
Zahar waved a hand and left the room.
I washed my face again and removed the embarrassing fragments of that dream from my mind before getting up.
