DD 19

Chapter 19

“Lady Endrianz.”

“……”

“You have a flower petal in your hair.”

“…Pardon?”

The unexpected remark broke her composure. Isilia forced her expression back into place, trying to hide her embarrassment. She caught Ruyan turning his head at Marillian’s comment. Isilia lifted her hand and sifted through her hair. *That woman…* The surge of shame made her bite her lip. She may not frequent social gatherings, but still—couldn’t she have a maid quietly point it out? How could the daughter of a duke behave like this…? Humiliating.

She shot a reproachful look at her butler, as if asking why he didn’t warn her earlier. Judging from his troubled face, he hadn’t noticed either. Her heart, startled by the sudden attack, pounded harshly. Heat rushed up her body. She turned her head to hide her flushed cheeks—and met his eyes. Her racing heart instantly cooled. Reason resurfaced, warning her to take stock of her surroundings. No servants nearby. Only Marillian and Ruyan had witnessed her disgrace. She forced a mask over her expression to conceal the humiliation. She had worked so hard to maintain her composure, and yet she let something like this shake her. She must be getting soft. Isilia set her jaw and released the children’s hands. Johan and El looked up at her.

“…Thank you, Lady Marillian.”

She lifted the trembling corners of her lips and forced a smile—bright, like a blossoming flower, polite and cordial. *I approached her, yet she has never once initiated conversation with me.* What change of heart made her stop Isilia today? She had been bracing herself for something, but the only thing that came was this rude remark. Whether it was genuine kindness or mockery, Isilia couldn’t tell. She steadied her breath. Though Marillian outranked her as a countess, Isilia was the mistress of this house. The mistake could be smoothed over, but what mattered was that she had been made to feel ashamed—intentional or not. She had no intention of letting it slide.

“Evenings in spring can be chilly. I worry you may catch a cold.”

“……”

“I heard you enjoy tea. I recently received tea leaves that are excellent for preventing colds. Would you care to try some?”

*Since when did we take interest in each other?* The words came smoothly, almost as if rehearsed. Isilia nodded. Was she trying to pick a fight? Was that her point—having clung to the Crown Prince, acquiring nothing but useless confidence? Marillian smiled at the affirmative reply. Her amber eyes narrowed as she looked at Isilia. Isilia stared at that smile for a moment, then sighed. Had she stayed quiet, Isilia might’ve wished her happiness with Ruyan… Her expression hardened. Disgust coated her tongue. Too much had been happening lately—so much that she could no longer read the undercurrents beneath careless words.

“…Then I shall take my leave first.”

Marillian lowered her head. Ruyan watched her. A sharp pain pulsed in her chest. Isilia turned away from them. Something tugged at her skirt; she looked down to see El smiling up at her. …It hurt. She ran her fingers through her hair. Unlike Johan, who laughed aloud, the child smiled silently.

“El,”

*Our child is right here in front of me.*

—

**Chapter 4. Isilia von Endrianz.**

Isilia looked down at the fan in her hand. Didn’t he hear her say she would not come to the palace unless absolutely necessary? Jordan had sent a servant regardless. Marillian and Ruyan had left for the palace that morning. She had tried to refuse, using the excuse that leaving with El would mean her young son would be alone at home… Isilia sighed. Jordan had actually told her to leave the children at the palace and return. Unbelievable. She turned to her children. Johan seemed delighted, laughing with El.

“El, you’ve been smiling the whole time.”

*Are you having fun?* At her question, El nodded. Someday, this small child would step into society, too. Isilia smiled faintly. Considering how close he was growing with the imperial grandson, perhaps she should be grateful he already had a friend. This child would draw trouble simply by existing. A mute child—others would not leave him alone. He would be the perfect prey.

Her hand trembled around the fan. Just imagining it enraged her. She needed trustworthy people at El’s side—more than one. Even if someday he jumped into the mud, she would ensure he wouldn’t drown in it. They would be his support. The imperial grandson was a boy… perhaps she should gather girls his age instead. But she shook her head. El was shy and disliked noisy chatter. Better to prepare when he was older. When he turned seven…

“……”

As soon as she stepped off the carriage, she felt eyes on her. Nobles strolling through the palace glanced at her in passing. Considering there had even been a wedding, their curiosity was natural. Still, it was uncomfortable. She hid her displeasure and lifted her dress hem gracefully. Quiet steps toward the Crown Prince’s chambers.

Someone stood before the door. Judging from his small build, it seemed to be the imperial grandson. Zion greeted her with a bright smile, then quickly took the children away. Isilia turned toward the door. She raised her hand—then paused. He must already know she was here. Should she enter? Or not? She hesitated. If he had called her just to taunt her, why walk into it voluntarily? She sighed. Maybe she should go to where the children were instead. Or simply return home.

“……”

Ruyan worked in a building separate from this palace. Marillian… would be inside. A sense of dread washed over her. Isilia lowered her raised hand. As she turned to leave, a voice sounded and the door opened hastily. A face, tight with irritation, stared at her—then shifted into surprise. *Brother—* She closed her half-opened mouth. Through the gap, she glimpsed red hair and a familiar voice. Ruyan should be at the Foreign Affairs Office. Why was he here? Noticing her gaze, Arwin quickly shut the door, face stiff.

“Brother.”

Did the Crown Prince summon Ruyan? And Marillian didn’t even need to be summoned—she was always there. Isilia frowned. If Arwin hadn’t opened the door first, she would have walked in unaware and seen all three of them together—the subjects of the very rumors shaking the palace.

“Is Ruyan inside—”

“Isilia.”

Her brother’s expression stopped her. Arwin looked down at her with troubled eyes.

“You’re not going in, are you?”

Not a question—certainty. A pressure disguised as concern. Isilia nodded. She said she was going home; Arwin smiled faintly. A bitter smile—the same one Ruyan used to wear when their eyes met. Something heavy settled in her chest. Because of her, her brother was hurting. Their father likely too… Isilia closed her eyes.

“This isn’t the place to talk… no, talking here may be better.”

Realizing that wandering around would only turn them into a spectacle, Arwin sighed. Isilia met her brother’s worried gaze and nodded. She hated the looks others gave her—pitying, mocking. Neither was welcome.

“Your feelings haven’t changed?”

Arwin asked quietly, cautious that someone inside might overhear. His tone said he already knew her answer. It was both amusing and bitter.

“No. They haven’t.”

“I knew you’d say that.”

His expression twisted slightly but he accepted it. Arwin was still terrible at hiding his emotions. He looked her over as if searching her face, then frowned. Something weighed on him, yet he couldn’t bring himself to say it. What was holding him back? Isilia lowered her gaze, avoiding the green eyes that stared into her.

“…When it came to Ruyan, you always charged forward with your eyes closed.”

“……”

“To the eighteen-year-old me, it was painfully obvious you were in love.”

“……”

“You looked… happy. Not just because you loved him, but because you were *in love* with being in love.”

Love at first sight—falling deep. She had become absorbed in her own emotions. She had loved him, yes… She lifted her head. Arwin watched her with a complicated expression.

“I know.”

Her brother looked startled. The green eyes inherited from their father widened. After a brief hesitation, Arwin spoke.

“I see… I understand now.”

“Arwin.”

“Yes, Sister.”

—