Chapter 38. Just the Two of Us, A Secret
Belladonna felt completely numb to reality.
She could feel a cold sweat sliding down her back.
W-what do I do…?
She stared at Escallion standing before her, unable to utter a single word.
His golden eyes softened as they met hers.
“For a while, I thought I’d just dreamt it all. I kept wondering if what I heard last time wasn’t just a dream.”
He stepped close and gently draped his coat over her shoulders.
“It’s getting chilly. Wear this.”
Belladonna just looked up at him, dazed, unable to even step away.
It felt unreal that her secret—her voice—had been revealed so anticlimactically.
But more than that, he didn’t even seem that surprised.
That made everything even more confusing. What… what is going on…?
“Do you want to stay a bit longer? Need more time to clear your head?”
Belladonna couldn’t answer.
Should she just pretend nothing happened and go back with him? Should she try to explain? Should she just turn and run away?
She shivered slightly, lost in her thoughts, and Escallion spoke in a gentle voice:
“Why do you look so shocked? You didn’t really think I’d send my wife out with only one maid I barely trust, did you?”
Wait—then…?
“Since I couldn’t follow you myself, I had several knights keeping watch. I saw you lose your way, wander around, climb this hill and sit here. I saw everything.”
“Honestly, it’s a good thing I got here quickly. How long were you planning to wander? It’s getting colder.”
Belladonna let out a small sigh.
How naïve of me, thinking no one here knew who I was…
“So, Belladonna, are you going to tell me now? Why were you so upset today?”
He leaned down, looking her in the eye.
Belladonna gazed up at his face.
She wanted to say, Because of you, but held her tongue.
“Silent again?” he teased with a lopsided smile.
Why… Why is he acting like this even after hearing my voice? she thought desperately. Did he really hear me before?
Escallion tapped her cheek with a finger.
She stared at him, then finally spoke.
“Why… aren’t you saying anything?”
“Because I like it,” he replied teasingly, crinkling his brow in mock distress. “Your voice is so soft I feel like my ears might melt.”
“Don’t joke around…” she mumbled, scowling.
“I’m not joking. I really like it.”
He adjusted the coat on her shoulders so it wouldn’t slip off.
Belladonna finally managed to ask, softly:
“Did you… already know I could speak?”
“Who knows?”
What kind of answer was that? Neither yes nor no.
“Let’s go down. Your maid’s worried sick about you.”
He tried to gently lead her away, but Belladonna planted her feet, refusing to move.
He looked back at her, and she asked, voice trembling:
“What are you going to do now?”
“About what?”
“Are you… are you going to tell the Pope? That I can speak?”
Just saying it made her heart drop.
If word got out to the Pope that she could speak, they’d suspect the holy power she’d gained by sacrificing her voice.
But Escallion only answered:
“Why would I?”
Belladonna looked up at him, stunned.
“Is it that important whether you can talk or not?”
“I don’t know your reasons, but if you don’t want to speak, you never have to. I’ll miss your pretty voice, but… maybe you’ll whisper it to me sometimes when we’re alone?”
“It’s not that simple…”
“If it’s not simple, is it complicated?”
He cocked his head and grinned, teasing.
This man… even now, he’s joking around…
Belladonna stared at him, exasperated, and Escallion shrugged.
“Back at the Vatican, I heard you singing in your sleep.”
So he knew from back then…?
“And a few other times. You don’t realize how much you talk in your sleep, do you? Sometimes you whimper, sometimes you mutter like you’re in a serious dream. My wife’s surprisingly noisy at night.”
Really…?
Her face flushed bright red in embarrassment.
He chuckled at her reaction, leaning in.
“I was kidding about the talking. But I did hear you whimpering when you were ill.”
“Don’t glare at me. Shouldn’t you be grateful to your husband for keeping your secret this long?”
So Escallion… had known all along.
He’d known she was pretending not to speak.
And still, he just pretended not to notice… She felt a small pang of gratitude.
“Doesn’t it bother you? That I lied to you?”
“I figured you had your reasons. I thought you’d tell me one day. But since when did I become ‘you’ or ‘that person’ to you?”
Belladonna stared, confused.
“Belladonna, I’m not ‘that person.’ I’m your husband. Now that I’ve heard your voice, I think you’d better call me by my name.”
His… name?
She’d said it a hundred times in her mind, but saying it to his face was somehow mortifying.
“Go on,” he urged, moving closer. “What is it?”
He was so close she couldn’t think straight. Belladonna squeezed her eyes shut and blurted out:
“I’m not planning to speak, anyway! Not in front of others, at least. Even if I get found out, I’m still the Saintess who doesn’t talk. I’ll never use my voice in public.”
“What does that have to do with calling my name right now?”
Ugh, why did he have to be so precise?
“I just… I hope you’ll keep my secret…”
Escallion raised a brow.
“Who else knows you can talk? The Pope doesn’t, I’m guessing.”
“No one. Just the two of us know.”
“Who’s ‘the two of us’?”
Belladonna hesitated, then finally whispered:
“Me… and Escallion.”
A slow, satisfied smile spread across his face.
“That’s what I wanted to hear. But Belladonna, do you remember what I ask for when I want something?”
He tapped his cheek, smiling.
Realizing what he meant, Belladonna blushed, hesitated, then reached up, grabbed his arm, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
“Good. Shall we head back?”
But then he remembered:
“Actually, you haven’t bought your envelopes yet. Come on, let’s get them together.”
Do whatever you want… Belladonna thought, cheeks burning.
“Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone about today.”
“A little secret between us isn’t so bad. Will you ever tell me your reasons someday?”
Belladonna couldn’t answer.
Someday…
But before that, she’d have to leave him.
Escallion looked at her in silence, then tidied the coat around her shoulders again.
“Clammed up again, I see. Well, shall we go?”
He held out his big palm to her.
She stared at it for a moment, then placed her hand in his.
He turned and started walking, leading her down the hill.
Everything felt even more tangled than before, Belladonna thought as she glanced at him.
She’d only wanted some time alone to sort out her feelings… but now everything was even more complicated.
I really don’t know anything anymore…
