Chapter 8
(Rolanâs point of view)
Moving the dressing table to the sunny room was the right choice.
Each time dust glimmers and dances in the light, your gaze softens, just a little.
Observation sheet. Cute. Protractor. Cute.
You are frighteningly rational, and frighteningly kind.
âYouâre going to the palace this afternoon, right? To check the documents.â
âYes. Itâs the revised draft of the herbal tax rates. Iâll do the final review of your presentation.â
âIâm counting on you.â
I glance once more into the mirror and trace the angle of my fringe with a fingertip.
I can still feel the memory of your touch there.
Itâs pathetic, but sometimes I canât help thinkingâ
that this ideal appearance of mine is the reason you chose me.
And every time, your âYou look adorableâ leads that illusion somewhere else entirely.
âLord Rolan.â
âHm?â
âYou are not only cute. You are also someone I can rely on.â
ââ!â
Something soft and heavy settles deep inside my chest.
Reliable.
That single word makes me straighten my posture again.
I used to think that someday, I wanted you to write down my maximum level of cute on your observation sheetâ
but now, itâs a little different.
Now, I want to be able to shake hands with my own âcuteâ honestly.
âSelf-report sectionâtodayâs entry too?â
You hand me the observation sheet, and I nod with a smile.
Taking a deep breath so my pen wonât tremble, I write:
( Very cute )
âThatâs quite a leap.â
âThe sunlight gave me a push.â
âA healthy leap, then.â
You nod.
In the sunlight, itâs not just cute that grows.
My confidence grows too.
*
The civil servantsâ waiting room at the royal palace.
Before the main discussion, I clear my throat lightly and align the corners of my documents.
Beside me, Iris flips through her papers, checking the key points in three concise lines.
I like the way she does that.
(Someday, I want to be like youâclear, gentle, and unhesitating.)
The door opens. We enter the small meeting room.
The tax commissioner raises an eyebrow.
âI hear the field data for the transport crates and herbs has finally come in?â
âYes,â Iris answers succinctly. âIn the test using wax-lined containers, scent loss dropped by thirty percent, and quality variation stayed within acceptable range.â
Taking over, I present the handouts, explaining the optimization of distribution costs, the branding value of exported herbsâsaying only whatâs needed, no more.
The fringe Iâd adjusted in front of the mirror holds its shape.
The layered scent calms me.
And most of all, Irisâs nod in profile steadies my back.
âThatâs all. About the budget for the pilot implementationââ
The discussion moves forward, and the decision is reached.
When we step out of the room, I let out a small breath.
Iris scribbles neatly in the margin of the observation sheet:
âPost-duty expression: Relief +1. Good work today.â
âThanks. Without your three-line summary, Iâd have added a bunch of useless extras.â
âUseless extras are to be eliminated. Indicators meant for daily life should stay lean.â
âRight. Iâll learn from that.â
The words âI want to be like you somedayâ reach my throatâbut I donât say them today.
Instead, I choose another phrase.
âIris, youâre very cute today too.â
âThatâs a fact.â
Her immediate reply makes me laugh.
Her cheeks take on a soft hue, like the shadow of sunlight.