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IICSYIRD l CH 48

Who Are You Thinking About ? (5)

Chapter 05

“Ugh, how long have I even been here… This is embarrassing.”

Rafael tried to run a hand through his hair but failed—he could only use one arm properly.

“Hey, you okay?”

Dios, who was sitting quietly on the bed in the individual holding cell right next to him, replied calmly.

“I’m fine.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

Rafael had to stay locked up for a month. There were still some commanders in there who had belonged to Duke Madros’s faction, and they kept accusing Rafael of insubordination, trying to protect whatever power they had left.

It was obvious what they were doing.

Schloitz, seemingly fed up, disciplined both Rafael and Dios without much thought.

That might have been for the best. One by one, the others were being purged without even getting a chance to speak.

Rafael slowly lay down on the rough single bed covered with straw. He wanted to just flop down, but that would have hurt his shoulder too much.

“I feel bad leaving everything to Lady Lefevre like this. Agnes should be here within the week, right? I sent an urgent letter.”

“Then she’ll probably come sooner.”

“Right? The base must feel empty now, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s practically deserted. Not even half the people are left.”

“Whew…”

Rafael let out a sigh.

“Lady Lefevre looked really intimidated by the Commander.”

“She didn’t seem that timid to me.”

“You don’t even know her. I bet she’s eating alone too, right?”

“Probably.”

“Did you see her on the way here? I won’t be getting out for a while. They’re not assigning junior officers anytime soon either.”

Rafael’s constant chatter about Blandea Lefevre didn’t surprise Dios.

He had seen it too—that moment when Blandea had grabbed Rafael and pulled him back.
If she hadn’t, Rafael would’ve died on the spot.

To Rafael, Blandea Lefebvre was a lifesaver.

And on top of that, she was a direct descendant of the famous Lefevre family, beautiful, and her measured Holy Sword ability was top-tier according to her paperwork…

There was no reason not to like her.

Even though Dios didn’t care for high nobles, he had to admit she had impressive qualities.

Rafael would probably end up being completely devoted to her. That future seemed clear.

There weren’t many peers left for Dios. Besides Rafael, almost everyone had either been discharged or reassigned to other bases.

So even Dios didn’t feel like acting all childish and hostile toward Blandea Lefevre, who had clearly saved Rafael.

“Dios. Do you remember when we first joined as cadets 10 years ago? We had four people per room back then. It was so noisy I couldn’t sleep, and when I complained, the soldiers said they had eight people per room and told us to suck it up. Everyone went silent after that…”

“…”

“Dios? Are you asleep already?”

Ignoring Rafael’s endless talking, Dios pressed his face into the pillow.

He wasn’t even sure why he had looked back at Blandea Lefevre earlier.

But those red eyes that had stared straight at him wouldn’t leave his mind.

****

A few days passed.

In that time, I’d fully figured out Schloitz’s daily routine. Now I could finish morning training and head to the office without being late.

“This place really feels like a ghost town now that so many officers are gone…”

Without people around, the base felt even more eerie. If not for the spring flowers blooming here and there, the place would’ve felt completely lifeless.

The lower-ranking knights and soldiers were still around, but I rarely crossed paths with them.

Since a big purge was underway, the atmosphere was tense. Everyone seemed on edge.

In the middle of all that, I trained alone at the commander’s private training ground, ate alone at the commander’s private dining hall, and read alone in the restricted officer library.

It got to the point where I almost missed Rafael constantly talking and following me around. I ended up writing a bunch of letters to send to the mansion, mostly out of boredom.

One morning, I headed to Schloitz’s office and blinked in surprise.

“Huh?”

The door was open—and he was already inside. Surprised, I rushed in.

“Lord Procyon? I’m sorry, I’m late.”

“I just came early. No need to worry.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Just came to grab something.”

“Would you like help?”

“No, it’s fine.”

He gave a short reply and looked through the bookshelves. It seemed like he really did just stop by briefly.

While Schloitz scanned the books, I couldn’t help but look at something else—his back.
How many centimeters would someone have to grow each year to end up like that…? Did he get growing pains?

I was thinking nonsense like that when Schloitz suddenly spoke.

“Today’s the day of Marc Hunt’s execution.”

“Ah, yes.”

“Did you attend the trial?”

“Yes, I did. Lord Procyon.”

“What did you think?”

Is he asking for my thoughts on the trial?

If I told him I was shocked at how messed up Marc looked…

Better not.
He might think I’m weak. I couldn’t risk being excluded from future subjugations.

“I have to at least perform as well as Enrico.”

In the original novel, Enrico had a fairly active role.

Since I had taken his place in the military, I felt like I had to at least meet expectations.

Besides, I didn’t have Enrico’s height or broad frame to look reliable, which was why Rafael kept offering to take my place in dangerous missions.

I figured it was best to sound fearless.

“I didn’t have any strong impressions.”

“I heard Marc Hunt looked terrible.”

He did… But it was kind of wild to hear that from someone who had personally kicked Marc’s mouth open.

Marc looked like he’d been tortured, but the worst of it was clearly his face.
His mouth had been ripped open, and the area under his nose was wrapped in bloody bandages.

I searched for the right words.

“It was a bit gruesome… but bearable.”

“Bearable, huh?”

Schloitz let out a small chuckle. I blinked, not sure what was funny.

He placed the documents back into the shelf and asked:

“Have you thought about informing the Lefevre family about what you went through?”

“Should I?”

“That’s your choice. But it was serious. If you were from one of the seven lower vassal houses, they would’ve been notified already.”

“If I tell them… won’t it make things harder for you, Lord Procyon?”

At that, Schloitz stopped and turned to look at me. I quickly lowered my head.

“Why would you worry about that?”

“Well… I’m part of the military now, right?”

I could feel his gaze.

“Do you always talk like that because you were raised too nicely?”

Is he mad?

Lord Balrock once told me that, when a superior got mad, the safest response was always the same—even if no one would ever really yell at me because of my noble status.

Still, I hesitated a moment, then said,

“I’ll correct myself.”

A faint laugh brushed past my ears.

He didn’t say anything else and turned back to the shelf.

Papers rustled softly as he pulled one out, checked it, and came closer.

“I’ll need the blessing early tomorrow.”

“Ah. Yes.”

“Can you be here by six in the morning?”

“I can.”

“Good. You can head back early that day.”

“Yes, Lord Procyon.”

So the saying “a crisis is a chance” wasn’t wrong.
At first, I’d been tense and messed up a lot, scared out of my mind assisting Schloitz—

But now, I could have conversations like this without trembling.

“I should get going.”

Schloitz leaned his head slightly toward me. My heart skipped, but he wouldn’t know that.

Even though I knew this gesture just meant he was asking for a blessing, I still swallowed dryly every time.

I carefully cupped his face with both hands.

His cheek was warm against my lips.

****

Enrico brushed a hand over his newly shaved head. The stubbly texture felt rough on his palm. He frowned slightly and muttered,

“Just saying this because unexpected variables always come up…”

He thought of Blandea, who was still at the military base.

“What if someone else besides the Commander starts showing the same strange side effects?”

“Then there’s only one answer.”

Hector dropped the strand of Blandea’s hair into a thin glass beaker and poured in some solution.

“She’ll just have to kiss people on the cheek every single day.”

“That’s… that’s really bad. Seriously bad.”

Enrico scowled, his imagination making his face look more and more troubled.

Hector nodded, agreeing.

“Oh right. I’m not sure about the Commander, but the others… Well, it could be women too, but the military’s mostly men. Actually, never mind. Better include the women too.”

Enrico turned to Hector.

“Some of them are definitely going to fall for her.”

****

I’ve been super busy the past few days.

Schloitz had been working nonstop and dragging me along.

I came in early every morning, helped sort documents, prepared paperwork for his approval…

Thankfully, there wasn’t much left to do regarding the Oparts.

I even accompanied him to a few ruins. Though I mostly just waited in a safe zone with other knights.

“Well… no place is completely safe, really.”

 

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If I Can’t Save You, I’d Rather Die

If I Can’t Save You, I’d Rather Die

구하지 못할 바엔 죽겠다
Score 9.5
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2022 Native Language: Korean
I possessed a supporting character who died before three years old. I survived as best as I could, but all that remained was the destined bad ending. To prevent partial destruction of Lefebvre territory, I hid my identity and went to save my favorite character, who died at a young age. “So you’re really here to save me.” “Yes. I… want…to save you.” I thought that as long as I saved that boy, he would grow up and become the youngest commander-in-chief, just like in the original storyline. For his future to become as prestigious as the sun, I had no choice but to hurt him and leave him… * * * “Why do you care so much about me?” “Why do I care so much about you?” Schloetz answered with an indifferent face. “It’s because I have a girl in mind who I want to take over the current princess position.”

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