Chapter 80……………………………………………
ā Would It Be Enough If I Became Emperor?
As always, he found himself at the park. Perhaps because of the cooler weather, there were more people than usual. Akkia strolled along the path before coming to a stop.
The sky was an unbroken blue today, without a single cloud. As he gazed upward, voices drifted through his mind.
[The Duke of Belarus has come to the capital.]
[And I heard something even more shockingāhe brought along a very young woman.]
Akkia recalled the gossip he had overheard at the palace earlier: the mysterious young woman who had appeared with the Duke of Belarus.
Rumors were already spreadingāthat the Duke had taken a late concubine.
āā¦It must be Lea.ā
But the moment he heard it, Akkia thought of her. Who else could it be?
Lea had been living in the Dukeās estate and sending him letters regularly. But he had never opened a single one.
Because if he did, he feared the fragile resolve he had finally managed to hold onto would collapse.
And so, for more than two months, Leaās unopened letters had piled up in his room. Whenever he longed for her, he threw himself desperately into work.
āDamn it.ā
He cursed under his breath, overwhelmed. Knowing she was breathing the same air in the same cityāhe couldnāt endure it.
Since hearing the news, his head had felt ready to burst.
Part of him wanted to run straight to the Dukeās residence. But he couldnāt bring himself to take that step.
Not like this. Not yet.
Every time his resolve wavered, he remembered the Duke of Belarusās words: As you are now, you cannot protect her.
Once again, Akkia steeled his heart. He would finish what he had startedāonly then would he face Lea.
Just then, a sweet floral fragrance brushed past his nose.
āā¦ā
He followed the scent until he saw a cart selling flowers by the parkās fountain.
Almost as if entranced, Akkia approached.
Was the fragrance so strong just because the cart was here?
His eyes drifted slowly over the bloomsāuntil they landed on a bouquet of lilies of the valley. The sight of the delicate white blossoms sent a sharp ache through his chest.
A summer night, filled with their fresh scent. Lea, in the annex, talking about making new medicine. The memory washed over him.
The flower seller spoke up.
āThese lilies of the valley just came in today. Their fragrance is truly lovely.ā
āI see.ā
āThey also carry a beautiful meaning. Do you know what it is? Hope, delicacy, and above allāā
āHappiness.ā
The seller stopped, surprised by Akkiaās quiet reply.
Happiness.
A fanciful word, far removed from him. And yet⦠if only the flowersā meaning could become real.
āIāll take them,ā Akkia said.
Yes. This much was harmless. To breathe in the fragrance and think of herājust that much.
As he paid and waited for the bouquet to be wrapped, a voice brushed against his ear.
āIāll take the same, please.ā
The sound of it froze him. That voiceāhe knew it instantly.
It was the voice he had longed for more than anything.
Akkia slowly turned.
There she was: hair like a cascade of flame-red silk, eyes the fresh green of spring leaves, smiling radiantly.
āā¦Itās been a while, my lord.ā
The voice from his dreams struck him like a blow.
ā¦Lea.
His fist clenched hard.
The woman before himāso changed, so beautifulāalmost didnāt seem real. Was she truly the girl he had known? He could hardly believe his eyes.
The lavender dress tailored for her fit so perfectly, he couldnāt look away.
āMy lord.ā
Lea stepped closer, gazing at him with clear eyes. A faint fragrance drifted from her as she neared, and Akkia found himself holding his breath, as if even that was too much to bear.
āWhy wonāt you say anything? I came here just to see you.ā
āā¦ā
āDidnāt you miss me?ā
She asked it directly, looking into his eyes. But Akkia could not speak.
Didnāt I miss her?
Of course he had. He wanted to crush her in his arms this very moment.
āā¦Why are you here?ā
āHonestly! After all those letters I sent, and not a single reply. Were you really that busy?ā
She cut him off before he could finish. She tried to sound playful, but inside, she was hurt.
She had told herself he must be too busy. She had even resented him. She had planned to scold him when they met.
But the moment she saw him at the flower cart, staring at lilies of the valley⦠all her resentment melted away like snow.
She had stood there, simply watching his backāthe back she had missed so much. He was no longer the fragile man she once worried over. He looked strong, steady.
She had wanted to run to him, bury herself in his arms. But she held back. Not yet.
Still, when she saw the flowers in his hand, she couldnāt contain herself. The lilies of the valley reminded her too vividly of their shared summer.
You could have written at least once.
For over two months, no reply. Dozens of letters, but not one word back.
It was as if he had forgotten her existence entirely.
Her heart pounded uneasily as she searched his expression.
āWhy wonāt you answer me? You look just like you did the first time we metāā
āIām busy right now. Weāll talk later.ā
He cut her off coldly, then turned his back.
āMy lord?ā
Her call didnāt reach him. He vanished from her sight, leaving her frozen in place by the flower cart.
ā ā ā
He didnāt know how he had made it back to his estate. All he knew was the screaming alarm inside his head: Get away from her.
āDamn it.ā
He had nearly lost controlānearly pulled her into his arms right there.
He wanted to hold her until they both broke. To silence her lips with kisses. To lock her away in his chambers where no one else could reach her.
Even in those few fleeting moments, desire had surged like fire in his veins.
He unclenched his fistsāhis nails had cut into his palms, blood dripping. He stared at his ruined hands and let out a heavy sigh.
How long Iāve enduredā¦
Lea had always been like this. Appearing without warning, turning his world upside down.
His quiet, controlled life had never been the same after meeting her. He was not a man swayed by emotions. Not until Lea.
But her wounded eyes⦠they haunted him.
And yet, he could not give in.
āNot yet.ā
No. Not now. As he was, he had nothing worthy of protecting her.
When he reached his mansion, a carriage he didnāt recognize was waiting. Richel hurried out to greet him.
Before Akkia could even ask, Richel spoke.
āMy lord, the Duke of Belarus is here.ā
. . .
In the drawing room, Dmitri sat by the window, sipping tea with dignified composure. He looked up as Akkia entered.
āItās been a while.ā
Akkia took the seat across from him. Dmitri poured him a cup of tea.
āI hear youāve been busy making a name for yourself in the capital.ā
The scent of dark tea wafted between them.
But gone was the courteous man who had once pleaded with him two months ago. Here sat the arrogant Duke of Belarus of old.
āYou know who I came here with, donāt you?ā
āYes, I do.ā
The capital was awash in rumors of the young woman he had brought. In truth, she had come as the formally acknowledged daughter of the house.
āGood. Then⦠did you see her?ā
āā¦ā
Akkiaās silence was answer enough. Dmitri studied him, then spoke again.
āI suppose she must have gone to you first.ā
Akkia recalled their meeting at the park.
They say position shapes a personāperhaps it was true. In just a short time, Lea carried herself with the poise of any noble lady. Her bearing, her speechāit was all different.
Dmitriās sharp gaze pierced him. Whenever Leaās name came up, Akkiaās eyes betrayed him.
At least Akkia had kept his promise. He had cut her off completelyāignored every letter.
If only he werenāt royal bloodā¦
Had Akkia been just another nobleās son, Dmitri might have relented, might have let Leaās devotion carry the day.
But Akkia was not just a duke. He was a deposed prince, once threatened by the emperor himself.
Unless he takes the throne himselfā¦
Dmitri had told Lea otherwise, but in truth, he could not entrust his only granddaughter to Akkia as things stood.
His voice fell like a final hammer-blow.
āYou may be a prince and a duke, but everyone knows itās only in name. I wonāt give my granddaughter to a man who could die any day.ā
āā¦ā
āI trust you understand. Iāll take my leave now.ā
Dmitri rose, gathering his things, preparing to depart.
āDuke of Belarus.ā
Akkiaās low voice stopped him. It resonated through the room like a cavern. Dmitri turned back.
Akkia lifted his head at last and spoke slowly.
āIf I become emperor⦠would that be enough?ā






