Chapter 75
If Only I Could Turn Back Time
It felt like he was lost in a dream.
The person who had always smiled so brightly at him—
the moment she collapsed helplessly felt too unreal to be true.
“…Lea.”
Akkia’s voice, barely squeezed out, cracked like parched earth.
As he stared blankly at Lea, limp in his arms, people began gathering one by one.
“Oh my goodness!”
“Dear heavens, someone’s collapsed…!”
Screams rose at the sight of blood pooling on the ground, but to Akkia they were nothing more than a ringing in his ears.
So this is what it feels like—
like the blood has been drained from your whole body.
His hand, caressing Lea’s cold, paling face, began to tremble uncontrollably. Clinging desperately to his fading consciousness, he laid her across his knees.
“No… this can’t be…”
How could this be real?
She had been like a blooming rose—there was no way she could look this pale. As if seeking her warmth, his hand touched her cheek.
“Your body… it’s cold…”
He had expected warmth, but her face was as cold as ice.
His hand, tracing her features in disbelief, slid downward. There, hot, viscous liquid slowly coated his palm.
His gaze shifted. From her slender waist, crimson blood was flowing in heavy waves.
“No…”
He tried pressing down on the wound with his hand, denying reality, but it changed nothing. Blood still seeped between his fingers, dripping to the ground.
In that instant, all thought ceased.
The vibrant world that had dazzled him just minutes ago lost all its color.
He had sworn to protect Lea, no matter what.
But when it truly came to pass, he couldn’t even call for help.
A crushing anxiety swallowed him whole. His trembling hand brushed her face again.
When his bloodied fingers smeared her cheeks, Akkia frantically wiped it away with his sleeve. But the more he tried, the clearer the red became.
“N-no…”
Why did his dying mother’s image rise up now? His heart thundered, ready to burst.
That familiar sensation tore open the dust-covered memories.
The sight of Lea, fallen in his arms, overlapped with that day. His mother, in a white gown like today, had been dignified as always.
No—on that day she had been breathtakingly beautiful, as though she knew it was her last.
[Akkia… my son…]
Her delicate voice, long forgotten, rang in his ears. She lay across a pool of hot blood.
Her silver hair, once shining like moonlight, was stained red. Then, as if to confirm the kill, the assassin drove the blade into her back once more.
It’s okay…
She had mouthed soundlessly, saying she was fine.
Shaking her head at him, telling him to close his eyes. Even as she died, her gaze never left the child hiding under the bed.
The blade piercing the empress’s body had felt like it carved out Akkia’s own heart. Her blood had sprayed in a crimson fountain.
He had to swallow his cries as he watched her grow cold. One sound, and he too would be cut down.
The empress had twitched her fingers toward him—still worrying for him to the very end.
The assassin, without hesitation, yanked the sword from her back. More blood spurted, staining young Akkia’s face, burning hot.
He had wanted to leap out and shield her. To scream that she was the Empire’s one and only Empress, that this was treason against the royal line.
But he had been too small. His hands could not protect her.
Wiping the warm blood from his cheek, he bit his lip hard. He would never forgive the man who had killed his mother so cruelly.
[Hmph. Finally dead. Stubborn woman.]
When the assassin grabbed her hair to check she was gone, Akkia felt hatred for the first time. And when her body was dropped to the ground like refuse, his eyes caught a tattoo etched on the assassin’s wrist.
Though young, that mark had burned into his memory.
Now, as the nightmare resurfaced, his gaze fixed on the void.
“Hey!”
A stranger’s voice snapped him back. His pupils focused again.
“Get a hold of yourself! This is no time to be dazed!”
“You are…”
“Does it matter who I am?”
The man’s thunderous shout jolted Akkia. Looking down at Lea in his arms, growing colder, he grabbed the man’s sleeve.
“A… a doctor…!”
“I am a doctor!”
The man tore his own sleeve and tied it tightly around her waist.
“My clinic is nearby! Quickly, we must move her!”
Lea hovered at death’s door.
Her body burned with fever, drenched in sweat. Each shallow breath carried searing heat.
Watching anxiously, Akkia pressed Franken for answers.
“How is she now?”
The bedding was soaked in blood, stark proof of the crisis. Having finished emergency treatment, Dr. Franken rose grim-faced.
“She lost a fair amount of blood, but the wound itself isn’t as large as it looked.”
He thought back to when he’d seen her collapse in the crowd—it had been shocking. Catching his breath, he continued:
“The stab wound itself is not fatal. However…”
The injury was only as wide as two fingers, shallow enough that her life wasn’t directly in danger.
“But the blade was poisoned.”
“…Poisoned?”
“Extracted from the deadly black cluster mushroom. It’s lethal.”
At first, he thought she had fainted from blood loss. But her blue lips and blackened nails revealed the truth: poisoning.
“The fortunate thing is this—she had previously ingested venom from a death-spider, which has detoxifying properties.”
At Lea’s name, Akkia’s eyes narrowed.
“You know Lea?”
“Yes. We met in Belarus territory. She asked me then about the side effects of death-spider venom.”
A memory stirred—Lea had once mentioned seeking advice from the renowned scholar Franken.
“Then… you are Professor Franken.”
“That’s right. But pleasantries can wait.”
He wiped the sweat from his brow and patted Akkia’s sagging shoulder.
“Tonight will be the turning point. If the venom in her system counters the poison in time, she’ll survive.”
“…”
“So for now, we wait.”
Additional antidotes would be meaningless, he explained. Only her own strength could push the poison out. With that, he left the clinic.
A heavy silence descended. Akkia slumped by Lea’s bedside, his face tortured.
“Lea…”
The Duke of Belarus’s warning had come true.
“I should never have brought you here. Never met you. Never whispered love to you.”
Every thread that bound him to her now became chains of regret, choking him.
If only I could turn back time…
“If only I could return to the moment I first met you.”
If only he had never opened his heart. If only he had pushed her away. Then she wouldn’t be lying here at death’s door.
“I…”
He wasn’t worthy to protect what was precious. His chest burned as he recalled the square.
The moment she fell, he had been frozen, useless. If Franken hadn’t appeared, what would have become of her? The thought alone felt like losing the world.
What am I supposed to do now… if you’re gone…
His eyes stared blankly, as though his path had vanished.
The chirping of crickets drifted through the window. The world outside was swallowed in black night.
In the oppressive stillness, the faint rustle of bedsheets broke the silence. Lea’s fingers twitched.
Akkia, dozing lightly with her hand in his, opened his eyes at the small movement.
Then came the voice he thought he’d never hear again.
“Duke…?”
Her eyelids, once heavy as stone, lifted. Her eyes, always fresh as spring fields, now carried a faded light.
“Lea!”
“Where am I…?”
“In Professor Franken’s clinic.”
Akkia exhaled in relief. But it quickly turned to fury restrained by sheer will.
“Lea. You must return immediately to the Duke of Belarus’s estate. And never go outside again.”
The memory of her collapsing in the square still haunted him. Franken’s words echoed—without the antidotal venom, she’d be dead.
“…What are you saying? The hot spring’s opening is so close.”
Struggling upright, Lea stared at him in shock.
“I promised I’d attend too.”
“You’re out of this. In fact, you’re no longer my apothecary. Stop working for me altogether.”
His tone was ironclad. To him, the hours she had hovered near death had been an eternity.
Only a few knew her true identity—the Belarus Duke, Lea, and himself. Which meant…
Ilei.
It had to be Ilei, or Count Leorod. Targeting Lea was their message.
A warning: stay out of this.
Akkia clenched his fists so tightly they turned white. He had vowed never to lose anyone precious again.
Lea—she was someone fragile, someone he should keep safe in his arms. Yet she had been struck down by an assassin’s blade. Because of him.
His eyes burned red as his tears welled. Lea, seeing the weight of guilt carved into his face, slowly raised her hand.
“Duke…”
Her fingers brushed his cheek, her own eyes glistening. In that instant, she understood—being stabbed was tied to the hot spring project.
“I’m okay. I’m stronger than you think.”
“….”
“I want to help you. Please let me stay by your side.”
She reached out and embraced him.
He too didn’t want to let her go. Yet as the image of her collapsing, pale as death, flashed before him, his arms stopped, suspended in midair.
