Chapter 74
âYouâre crazy.â
âIf I were you, I wouldnât say that.â
âWhat do you mean?â
As if he were the owner of the place, Rutger stepped naturally into Anitaâs room and glanced around. Anita wanted to smack her past self for not cleaning today. Fortunately, Rutger didnât seem particularly interested in her room. Before long, he leaned against the bare wall and sat down on the floor.
âItâs your birthday today. I came all the way here to celebrate, and this is the welcome I get.â
At that moment, every thought in Anitaâs head evaporated.
âH-how did you know?â
âHow could I not? Why wouldnât I know that?â
His tone even sounded as if he were scolding her. For a second, Anita thought she must be dreaming. Maybe this was just a delusion born from her sadness at not hearing âhappy birthdayâ from him. Rutger Vailan sitting in her room with a playful smileâthat was far too unreal.
Anita loved his smile. The dimples that appeared when the corners of his lips curled upward, the graceful slant of his eyesâshe was always weak to those.
Anita Rodel had always been vulnerable to his laughter.
âI even brought you a present, but⌠ah, damn.â
âWhat is it?â
His lips, which had been curled in a cheerful grin, suddenly fell. Pressing his forehead, Rutger let out a long sigh.
âI left it in my room. Iâll go back and getââ
âWait! Just give it to me tomorrow.â
If she saw him climbing the ladder again, Anita felt she might actually die of a heart attack. She stopped him at all costs.
âWhat were you doing?â
âI wasâŚâ
She didnât want to admit sheâd just been doodling on scraps of paper. Not on her birthday, at least. While she fumbled for an excuse, Rutger took her hand.
âSit and talk.â
It wasnât that she sat because he told her to. Her legs simply gave out like a marionette with its strings cut. She was stunned at how quickly she obeyed, as if she were some well-trained dog.
For a while, silence hovered between them. Anita darted her eyes around, searching desperately for something to say. Rutger seemed just as lost.
Through the open window came a chilly breeze and the distant hoot of an owl.
âIt snowed. Did you see?â
âYeah. Mr. MĂźller was grumbling about how much more work heâs got now.â
Anita glanced around her room. Just a moment ago it had been the coziest hiding place in the world, but with just one visitor, everything felt different. The comfort was gone, replaced by an awkward tension.
Even the ticking second hand on the clock seemed slower than before.
âHowâs school these days?â
Leaning against the wall, Rutger stared only at his hands as he asked.
âWhatâs with the parent-like question?â
Rutger chuckled. Even he must have realized how strange it sounded. How long had it been since they sat face-to-face and actually talked like this? While Anita tried to recall their last meeting, Rutger suddenly asked,
âWant a lemon candy?â
Anitaâs face stiffened ever so slightly. Rutger, busy pulling the candy from his pocket, didnât notice. With her expression still frozen, she accepted it and popped it into her mouth.
The candyâs faint graininess and the subtle sweetness spreading over her tongue werenât bad at all.
âSo⌠you only just now remembered it was my birthday?â
She hadnât meant it as a rebuke, but Rutgerâs blue eyes wavered uncertainly.
âNo.â
His lips opened as if to explain, then closed again. After a breathless silence, he finally spoke.
âWere you waiting for me to say it? If youâd fallen asleep, would you have cried?â
Of course. Anita snapped her head away. Rutger Vailanâs first law: he canât stay kind for more than five minutes.
âIâm not five years old, why would I cry? Iâm sixteen as of today, you know? Wait⌠come to think of it, your birthdayâs in winter, right? That means Iâm older than you now.â
Anita blurted it out with feigned irritation, trying to avoid being teased, but then remembered her birthday came first. She declared it triumphantly.
âYeah.â
Yet Rutger only answered blandly, making her proud moment feel flat.
Thud.
Anitaâs heart dropped to her toes. Rutger had rested his head on her shoulder. She gaped soundlessly, struck dumb. The weight pressing on her shoulder, the soft strands of his hair brushing her neckâit was all too unreal.
It felt as if all her senses had been concentrated on her shoulder.
Did he not even realize he was leaning on her?
Probably not. If Rutger were in his right mind, heâd never do this. Anita cautiously lowered her head to check if heâd fallen asleep, but before she could, his hair tickled her cheek.
He smelled of a cool, fresh forest.
Anita stiffened, as if someone had placed fragile glass atop her head.
âIâm tired.â
If he was tired, why didnât he just sleep in his own room? Why here, why like this? She had thousands of questions, but not one made it past her lips.
ââŚâŚâ
Even swallowing felt dangerous. She wanted to scream and bolt from the room, yet at the same time wished time would stop right here.
After about ten minutes, Anita couldnât hold back anymore.
âItâs cold. I should close the windowâŚâ
She was about to rise under that pretense when she froze. She had only turned her head absentmindedly, but her eyes locked with his. His pale lime-colored eyes didnât waver, as if heâd been watching her the whole time, waiting for her to notice.
Inside her mouth, the lemon candy rolled nervously against her teeth.
âArenât you cold?â