ILTDAMH|CHAPTER 57

Chapter 57

 Am I… Ruan’s weakness?

“Go ahead, you may speak.”

“The truth is… Prince Daimond has escaped from exile.”

“What? Da—Daimond? Do you mean that prince from last time?”

“Yes. He escaped from his place of banishment. That’s why Tablo came asking you to return to the capital.”

Well, if that prince harbored ill intentions, then Ruan would indeed have to go back to the capital.

So now… I truly must let him go.

The sudden realization left Marican aching with sorrow. 

But she knew she could no longer keep Ruan bound to her because of her own personal struggles.

“Ah. The capital… of course. Then I suppose preparations must be made?”

“Do you wish for me to return to the capital?”

“Of course. In fact, I had been thinking for some time about letting you leave this shop.”

“You mean… driving me away from here?”

“That’s right. Since the subject has come up, leave now and return to where you belong.”

“Rosaline… wait. Are you saying you’re expelling me?”

“No. That’s not what I mean. What I mean is—I no longer hate you, Ruan.”

“What? Then… are you saying you’ve forgiven me?”

Ruan’s eyes lit up, filled with hopeful anticipation.

Forgiveness… Yes, he had begged long enough for forgiveness; perhaps it was time.

Marican slowly nodded in answer to his question.

“Yes. I forgive you. But now, you must leave this place.”

Why? Why would she forgive me only to tell me to leave?

If she truly forgave me, wouldn’t she say we should return to the ducal household together? 

Instead, she tells me to go.

Could it be… she hasn’t really forgiven me at all?

“Rosaline… if you truly forgive me, why tell me to leave? Shouldn’t you be returning to the ducal estate with me?”

“Ruan… I thought long and hard about how to explain this. I forgave you because I know that, being by my side all this time, you’ve been genuinely remorseful. But—”

“But?”

“Forgiving you doesn’t mean I must follow you. This is my home now.”

“Rosaline… of course this is your home. But isn’t the ducal estate in the capital also your home? Don’t you think of the people waiting for you there?”

“Of course. They’re still my family. I’ll visit every few months. Ah… though once you marry, that might be difficult. But then we could meet outside instead. Either way—just go back.”

“Rosaline… could it be that you no longer love me? Are you planning to marry that man you once said you kissed?”

Why… Why bring up kissing now of all times?!

But when she met Ruan’s desperate eyes, Marican knew she could no longer lie to him.

Fine. 

He’s leaving anyway. 

Better not wound him needlessly.

“Ruan… that was a lie. You were my first kiss. I only said otherwise because I was angry after hearing you’d kissed another woman.”

“Then—you’ve never kissed another man besides me?”

“That’s right. So stop being jealous and return to the capital.”

At her words, Ruan’s expression changed.

“So, Rosaline… you’ve never kissed anyone but me. Then… you don’t hate me after all?”

“That’s right. I don’t hate you. I don’t resent you anymore. The memory still pains me… but I no longer despise you the way I once did. So don’t worry—go back and live your life.”

So… I’m the only one she’s kissed. 

The only one she’s ever kissed.

Ruan’s heart lifted with sudden joy.

“Then… that means I still have a chance.”

“What?”

“Rosaline, forgive me… but I’m not going back to the capital.”

“What? But didn’t Sir Tablo summon you? And you said Prince Diamond had escaped! Do you think I’m lying? I told you, I’ve truly forgiven you!”

“Rosaline, half the reason I won’t return is you. The other half… is the Crown Prince.”

Me… and the Crown Prince?

Ruan smiled more calmly than ever before.

“Prince Diamond is foolish, but not so foolish as to charge into the capital the moment he escapes. If he seeks revenge, he’ll come for you. Which means I cannot possibly leave your side. That’s one reason. The other… if His Highness the Crown Prince cannot handle even a ragtag rebellion without me, then how could he ever govern an empire as its future emperor?”

“What?”

“If Diamond truly marches with rebels to the capital, the Crown Prince must defeat him to secure the throne. They’re not foreign armies, merely disorganized knights at best. And with the palace guard and Tablo himself in the capital, it will be handled. My presence is unnecessary.”

So in the end… I—I’m Ruan’s weakness?

Impossible.

Marican felt a strange, unsettling stir at the thought.

“You’re certain… it’s safe for you not to go?”

“That brings me to my proposal. Rosaline, may I?”

“Proposal?”

“If Diamond seeks your sister, he’ll surely learn where you are. He’ll come here. And if you’re alone when he arrives, I cannot protect you.”

“Then what must I do?”

“To guard you twenty-four hours a day, I will live with you for the time being.”

“Wh… what did you just say?”

Live… together?

Marican stared at him, utterly flustered.

“It’s the only way. You have no guards here. Your house is secluded, and though mine is across the road, I might not reach you in time. For your safety, we must stay together.”

“W-wait. Isn’t that going too far?”

“Just for now. Diamond is skilled with a blade, and he won’t be acting alone. You need me beside you.”

Is… is that true?

“So you’re saying you’ll stay at my house?”

“No. My house is larger, and there’s an extra room. We’ll live there. Separate rooms, of course.”

“…I’ll think about it.”

Ruan shook his head.

“Rosaline, this is not a matter for debate. Your life is at stake. Let me stay at your side.”

Her mind flashed back to Diamond at the bookstore—the vile, clinging grip on her arm, the loathsome gaze that made her skin crawl. She shuddered.

Fine. 

Just until his whereabouts are discovered.

Marican nodded.

“Very well. I’ll stay at your house.”

“Good. Then let’s move your things today.”

“Today? Already?”

“There’s no need to delay.”

“…Fine. But we must establish rules first.”

“Rules?”

“House rules for living together.”

“Set whatever you like. I’ll obey them all. But in return, you must do something for me.”

“What’s that?”

“You must learn a few self-defense techniques. If Diamond comes when I’m not beside you, you need to protect yourself.”

“All right. I’ll do it.”

“Then let’s tidy this place and move your things.”

Together, they cleared the shop and carried her belongings.

***

At his house, Ruan eyed her modest luggage.

“This is all?”

“Yes. Bedding, some dishes, a few cosmetics. I’ll bring the rest later—it’s only across the way.”

“Understood. Then you’ll take this room.”

“Oh no, I can’t. How could I take the master’s chamber? The smaller one will do.”

“Impossible. I’ve already moved my things. And I bought new bedding for this room, just for you. Please use it.”

“…All right.”

As she entered the room, Ruan pointed to a cord beside the bed.

“If anyone comes while you sleep, pull this. I’ll be here at once.”

“I… I see. Oh? Ruan? Do you like this bed?”

She glanced at the puppy Ruan, wagging happily and rolling about on the mattress.

Ha… of all the beings in this empire, I envy you most.

“Then, settle in. Dinner will be in an hour.”

“All right.”

When Ruan left, Marican unpacked, placing dresses in the wardrobe, cosmetics on the vanity. 

Sitting on the bed, she stroked little Ruan, who closed his eyes with contented whimpers.

Is this really the right choice?

His fearful eyes, begging to stay by her side… She had agreed, but living together under one roof brought strange, new feelings—so unlike the days at the ducal mansion after their marriage.

No. 

Don’t wander down that path. Just write the rules.

She sat at the vanity and wrote them out.

…

“Why so many dishes?”

“I made the foods you like best. Sit here.”

Marican handed him the paper.

“What’s this?”

“The house rules.”

“Ah. Let’s see. First: divide the chores. Laundry is each person’s own. Cooking and washing up alternate daily. If one cooks, the other cleans. Hmm. Though I could do it all myself—”

“No. If we live together, we share the work.”

“Very well. Second: each keeps their own room clean; we share the parlor. Again, I could handle it—”

“Ruan! If you insist on doing everything, I’ll be too uncomfortable to stay. I’ll move back!”

“Fine, fine. As you wish. And third: unless necessary, do not enter each other’s rooms. Agreed. Is that all?”

“For now.”

“Then let’s eat.”

Marican tasted the soup and her face lit with delight.

“Ruan… forgive me, but this is even better than what Jang makes.”

Ruan flushed, ducking his head shyly.

“I’m glad. I made plenty of what you like best.”

“Thank you… for caring so much. Now eat too.”

Watching her eat so happily, Ruan thought—never in his life had he been so grateful for Diamond’s escape. 

Should that man appear, Ruan might embrace him before killing him.

“…Y-your Highness?”